


Endlessly

by coley_merrin



Category: Super Junior-M
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 07:44:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 65,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5907862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coley_merrin/pseuds/coley_merrin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Kyuhyun's life changes when he gets the chance to meet his favorite singer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endlessly

**Author's Note:**

> (Or, as the prompt put it: fanboy!kyu finally meets his bias.) Started as a little prompt that became a monster.

***

Kyuhyun inhaled several times before letting out his breath slowly between his teeth. He was trying not to sweat on the album in his hands, the reality of the meet and greet after the fanmeeting suddenly all too real. When his ticket had been picked at random the day previously, he’d nearly bowled over the friends he’d been sitting with, gawking at his phone and babbling incoherently in disbelief. And then he’d had to go buy a new album of Zhou Mi’s so he could get a pristine copy signed, and not the one with his fingerprints all over it.

He had a half a dozen things he wanted to say, a few he knew he’d pass out before saying, and a couple of back-ups like, “I love your music, thank you so much.”

Zhou Mi would never remember him, but at least Kyuhyun would sound like a coherent adult.

The fans had all been rounded up like ducklings, ushered into a little room. There were three guys including himself, and seven women in his group, and Kyuhyun was both glad he wouldn’t stand out and a little miffed.

The first thing he saw was Zhou Mi’s legs. He was wearing jeans. That fact only hit him after Kyuhyun’s head snapped up, actually seeing Zhou Mi’s face within twenty feet of himself for the first time. Zhou Mi was half smiling, nodding as staff spoke to him. They were arranged in a little half circle, and Zhou Mi started at one end, with Kyuhyun a bit past halfway. He was right there. Right there. Tall, his blue shirt crisp, his laugh infectious and creating twice as many butterflies even as Kyuhyun was somewhat put at ease by it. He rehearsed the little things he wanted to stay while swaying back and forth between his feet and trying to keep all the little pieces of his brain together. 

He detested the first three people in line who seemed to chat so easily with Zhou Mi, and then Zhou Mi was at the third woman, which meant he was two people away, which meant he was going too fast, which meant by the time Kyuhyun had to hiccup in a breath and stand a little straighter, Zhou Mi was within arm’s reach and talking to the guy beside him like they’d been buddies for half their lives. He’d seen Zhou Mi in concert, twice. He’d been to a fanmeeting, seen countless pictures, and still nothing prepared him for just what Zhou Mi looked like in person. There wasn’t the distance of a lens, a glossy page. 

Zhou Mi’s eyes were luminous as he turned, as he looked at Kyuhyun. Not just looked through him, or glanced, but looked at him.

“Hi,” Zhou Mi said, and looked down at the album that Kyuhyun was holding like a life preserver. “Kyuhyun.”

It was said just a little bit wrong, and Kyuhyun inhaled as Zhou Mi laughed at himself, laughing helplessly, flushing, hoping Zhou Mi didn’t think that Kyuhyun was laughing at him.

“Hi,” Kyuhyun said, once Zhou Mi had calmed to just chuckling at himself, and he felt like he was a firecracker liable to explode at any second, and also maybe that he would just float away into infinity at the cheeky smile that Zhou Mi shared with him. Maybe the others had shared scintillating stories, and talked to him like a friend, but he’d gotten that smile. “You were amazing tonight. I’m really glad I got to be here.”

His face heated further, glad he’d gotten out two sentences, anyway, even if they were a bit rushed and Zhou Mi blinked at him a little like he was processing what Kyuhyun said.

“I am, too,” Zhou Mi said. “I needed that laugh.”

And Kyuhyun let go of the album, letting Zhou Mi use the little uncapped black marker to oh-so-carefully print Kyuhyun’s name before scrawling his signature, and his signature heart beneath that, too. Zhou Mi had drawn him a heart, too. Kyuhyun wanted to shout about it, and all he could do was fumble as Zhou Mi tried to hand the album back.

“Thank you,” Kyuhyun told him, and became a human statue as Zhou Mi’s hand closed around the one he was clutching the precious album with.

“Kyuhyun. I remember your name. Were you part of a birthday project this year?”

Of all the—

“I was. How do you remember stuff like that?” Kyuhyun asked, and Zhou Mi cackled as Kyuhyun got out his phone. The staff member stepped forward like Kyuhyun was going to ask for a picture, but all he did was do some frantic tapping, show himself among the others who’d gotten together for Zhou Mi’s birthday project. They’d sent Zhou Mi the picture, too.

“I’ll have to look closer at that when I get home,” Zhou Mi said, and Kyuhyun wanted to say oh no, please don’t, because the letter he’d written had been embarrassing and there was no way he could look Zhou Mi in the face if Kyuhyun knew he connected Kyuhyun to that.

Not that he was probably going to have another chance to look Zhou Mi in the face again, but he was going to dream. Zhou Mi looked like he was going to say something else, but the woman beside him indicated he needed to move on, and Zhou Mi squeezed Kyuhyun’s hand again - where it seemed all of his nerves were permanently fused to be aware of Zhou Mi’s skin - and said, “Thank you.”

Which confused Kyuhyun into tiny pieces of sparkling bubbles, but not enough that he didn’t get out a beat late, “Thank you!”

Just before Zhou Mi moved on to the person beside Kyuhyun. He got one last blooming smile, and then all that attention, all that wonderful skin, and lively eyes were focused on someone else. Kyuhyun covered where Zhou Mi had touched with his other hand, glancing out of the corner of his eye as Zhou Mi finished his circuit of speaking to them all. Zhou Mi spoke to them all, collectively for a few minutes, too, asking them how they liked the fanmeeting, if there was anything they’d like next time, and thanking them for coming so sincerely that Kyuhyun almost couldn’t stand it. The group picture was taken in a flash, Kyuhyun several people away from Zhou Mi with likely a completely horrible expression on his face, and that was it. Zhou Mi was waving and smiling and trying to make eye contact with each of them again as he was all but shoved out of the room, and Kyuhyun wanted to sink onto the floor and just flop there like an over-inflated marshmallow. All he heard around him were tiny exclamations of “wow, he’s so—“ and ten million stars in each person’s eyes as it sort of dawned on them that hey. Hey. They’d just met Zhou Mi. He’d spoken to them. He’d been right there.

It had been more than Kyuhyun had ever imagined, and he felt like he could maybe lap the world as he shook and shimmied, and clutched his bag on the subway like he was carrying a dragon egg home instead of a music album with a signature in it.

He could still feel Zhou Mi’s hand holding his.

***

The pictures from the meet and greet were ready, Kyuhyun learned from a phone call from one of the organizers. Apparently, they were handing them out in person, which he was fine with. A physical copy of the picture was just a bonus, though he hoped it didn’t look too weird. Kyuhyun loitered around a vendor on the top side of subway station, awaiting the representative. He kept an eye out in case he saw anyone else familiar, fans from part of the meet and greet he was at. Though the longer he waited, the more he wanted a drink, and he picked up two bottles, looking between the labels, waiting for want and inspiration to drive him.

“That kind is my favorite,” said a man beside him, pointing at the green labeled bottle.

It was such random, unsolicited information that Kyuhyun stared at the offending hand for a moment, almost to make a sound of acknowledgement as he lifted his chin. That voice.

The man wore a hoodie, sunglasses. Kyuhyun blinked at the man’s chin. At the man’s mouth. At the man’s eyebrows. His eyes started getting wider, both completely positive and absolutely, horrifically sure he was wrong. At least, until the man tipped down the sunglasses and the eyes smiling at him were the final straw in his brain’s acknowledgement that he was standing next to Zhou Mi.

And Zhou Mi just wiggled his fingers at him, his smile discreet, like they greeted each other all the time.

“Hi?” Kyuhyun expelled, deflating a little, almost wanting to shrink away to give Zhou Mi his space. And he was still holding two bottles and gawking, and a simple hello wasn’t going to cut it. Zhou Mi was going to think he was stalking him. “I was here to pick up the meet and greet photos?”

Zhou Mi lifted a flat brown envelope that Kyuhyun hadn’t noticed in his staring at Zhou Mi like he was the sun, waggling it. “Yes! I brought them.”

“You— You’re delivering the meet and greet photos?!”

Kyuhyun’s voice swelled and shrank down instantaneously, glancing behind him for a second before lasering his sight back on Zhou Mi and his sunglasses.

“I’m delivering yours,” Zhou Mi told him.

How… What…

Kyuhyun needed to do something and staring at the two bottles, he had a sudden burst of inspiration. Yes. Good.

“One second,” Kyuhyun said, and he paid for the drinks, gesturing and then following Zhou Mi like a lost puppy as they got away from the more crowded area of the subway entrance. And he muttered, “Here.”

The drink, from Kyuhyun to Zhou Mi. At least Zhou Mi couldn’t think it was doctored.

“Oh! Thank you,” Zhou Mi said. He made it sound like Kyuhyun had just handed him a yacht, and it didn’t sound contrived at all.

It was with an almost afterthought then that Zhou Mi handed Kyuhyun the envelope. He didn’t know what to do with it. Look at it. Hold it. Put it away. Considering he’d been expecting a staff member to bring it to him, and he’d gotten Zhou Mi, maybe the envelope was something unexpected, too. But no, a quick glance had him confirming that it was just a picture and he tucked it back into his bag. He didn’t look at his face too closely, because he didn’t need wondering what Zhou Mi thought of the picture added on to the fact that Zhou Mi was even there, drinking out of a drink that Kyuhyun had personally bought for him.

“How did you end up delivering pictures?”

“I told the organizers I wanted to. It seemed like there was only a few seconds to talk at the meet and greet.”

“And they let you? Just here, go meet up with some random guy who no one knows?”

Zhou Mi laughed freely then. “I was really persuasive.”

Standing in front of Zhou Mi at the meet and greet had felt like a decade, but like Zhou Mi said, also like only a few moments. There was no staff to shoo Zhou Mi away, no other fans waiting breathless. No one to distract Zhou Mi from him. Just him. And then panic started to creep in. Zhou Mi had said he remembered Kyuhyun from somewhere. If he still had those cards, had the letter that Kyuhyun had tucked in last minute so that no one but Zhou Mi would see, then he had no idea what Zhou Mi was thinking.

“Why?” Kyuhyun asked, even if he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He’d been facing Zhou Mi completely anonymous, but that letter had been all of the things he could not tell Zhou Mi to his face. And then Zhou Mi said the words he’d been dreading.

“I went home that night and looked through the gifts, and I found the letter that made me remember your name.” Maybe it was another letter, another person with the same name. But his picture had been with it, in the project. There had been multiple birthday projects. Multiple letters, but— “I thought you were really brave. You probably didn’t think about me ever seeing it, knowing it was you, but I felt really touched that you trusted me with that. And I remember your advice, too,” Zhou Mi said.

No. It was definitely that letter. All Kyuhyun could do was make a sound, as Zhou Mi seemed to speak almost from memory.

“You said I should be happy, and reach for everything I wanted. And that you were going to try to be happy too, even if maybe your family could never know. And I’m so thankful for that.”

Zhou Mi was famous, he had concerts, meet and greets. But there had been times when it had seemed dark. Health scares, people being horrible to him. Kyuhyun had wondered how much Zhou Mi was affected by those things, knowing his own worry did little more than erode his own health and not help Zhou Mi. There were secrets, too. No one knew all about Zhou Mi’s life, though sometimes from the lyrics he wondered. But being an idol was difficult in itself, and there were people who were possessive, demanding, which made it hard to reach for happiness that many would consider normal. To be able to date, to have normal friendships. Kyuhyun didn’t have the struggle of being an idol, but he did have his own unique struggle. In his letter, he’d confessed that he was gay, that so few people knew that it seemed sometimes that no one did, and how hard it was to look out from a corner where he looked just like everyone else but could see no one else who could relate, who was the same, who he could create a place of safety with. Harder still to find someone he could love. So maybe he and Zhou Mi weren’t the same, but he’d wanted Zhou Mi to know that he could fight to be happy, to do that in whatever way he needed to and that Kyuhyun would support him, and would fight in his own way to do the same.

The thought of Zhou Mi dating always sent a particular zing through him that was somewhat sad, but the thought of Zhou Mi being happy because of it far outweighed that little feeling he was helpless to stop.

Kyuhyun suddenly wondered how much handwaving he’d done in the letter to assure Zhou Mi that Kyuhyun’s feelings toward him were pure as the driven snow. At the time he didn’t want Zhou Mi to be put off, to let Kyuhyun’s want get in the way of the message. Though when he thought about it like that, none of the messages from anyone would count. It made him want to groan at himself.

“I don’t want you to think it’s weird,” Kyuhyun tried to explain, and stopped when Zhou Mi took off his sunglasses for a moment and looked at him.

“Are you going to dash my hopes of being attractive to everyone?” Zhou Mi asked.

And it was so sweetly said, so sly, that it had Kyuhyun gasping out a laugh.

“I didn’t think it was weird at all,” Zhou Mi assured him. “The letter, it wasn’t like you were… like you were trying to come on to me? I think being told you can be happy and that people will be happy for you can’t be said enough.”

Kyuhyun nodded, fiddling with his drink bottle and trying not to just melt in relief. There he was, Kyuhyun, the guy who liked guys, and Zhou Mi had not read his letter and thanked his lucky stars that he had gotten away when he had, but sought Kyuhyun out to appreciate it. He’d thought it was brave.

“I think, if you’re a fan of someone, you should want them to be happy,” Kyuhyun said, and some of the plastic of his bottle gave way, crunching a little bit and giving him the perfect out to look down instead of speaking to Zhou Mi’s nose.

“I dated someone last year, but I sent them away. I broke it off for a lot of reasons, fear of getting discovered, what the fans would think. Some of that probably kept me from connecting, wondering if I was taking too much. Looking back I know I deserved it.”

Kyuhyun wished he could see Zhou Mi’s behind the dark lenses, but his nodding felt not helpful, and all the sounds he wished he could make, the wise words, they were off on vacation somewhere without him. 

“There’s always next time,” Kyuhyun finally settled on, as inane as it sounded, but Zhou Mi agreed so quickly.

“Do you live nearby here?”

That was something easy to ramble about, gesturing in the direction he lived in, talking about the ridiculous subway change, where he had lived before that. That evolved into concert locations, and traffic and different types of lines, and Zhou Mi both listened carefully and spoke freely, telling Kyuhyun about the horrors of backstage and changing in front of people because there was no time, and Kyuhyun’s laugh was little more than a squeak imagining it.

And then they both jolted at the sound of a phone vibrating.

“Oh, that’s me,” Zhou Mi said, and pulled out his brightly decorated phone. Kyuhyun tried to stare at anything, a fallen leaf, a passing car, a pigeon, anything so that he didn’t seem like he was eavesdropping on the conversation. Though the first words were assuring whoever it was on the other end that he was fine, and Kyuhyun fought a giggle because yes, they were on a public street and Kyuhyun wasn’t attacking him.

But Zhou Mi hung up after not much more than a couple of minutes, stuffing the phone back away. It had been obvious he’d been telling someone where he was by the end of the call, so Kyuhyun was prepared for the disappointment.

“I need to go,” Zhou Mi sighed. “That was my manager, and apparently I have things to do now that he’s assured himself that I’m unharmed and that you hadn’t brought an axe or made me elope.”

They laughed together a little at that, and oh, the absurdity ran Kyuhyun flat. Made him elope. At least Zhou Mi hadn’t brought the letter with him. But Zhou Mi fumbled, pulling out a card and handing it to Kyuhyun. It had precise little writing on the back, a name, a set of numbers that the longer Kyuhyun stared at them seemed to coalesce into a phone number.

“You should text me,” Zhou Mi said, his hand touching Kyuhyun’s for a moment as though to emphasize his words. “It’s nice to be able to sit and talk sometimes. I can always find time somewhere.”

“Okay?” Kyuhyun said. And he wasn’t sure what else he could have said. Thank you? Bless you? Are you sure?

An SUV pulled up and Zhou Mi shot the driver a thumbs up, his smile to Kyuhyun just about evacuating all the air from his lungs.

“Have a good rest of the day!” Zhou Mi said, and scuttled over the road divider, climbing into the passenger’s seat. And then he waved and waved as the SUV pulled away as Kyuhyun’s smile kept being pasted on and he waved back.

He hadn’t even got a picture. Or asked for a picture. He just had a phone number, and he put his hand to his forehead and bonked himself with the drink bottle instead. He’d bought Zhou Mi a drink. Zhou Mi knew his secret. Zhou Mi had enjoyed talking to him. Zhou Mi existed.

Kyuhyun saved the card in his phone, tucking it and his phone away, and then managed to wobble down the street. To where, he didn’t know, and at that point, reliving that meeting, he also didn’t care.

***

Maybe an email would’ve been easier. But on email, there were no size limits, so he could’ve rambled on and on. The character limit in his text box mocked him, though he didn’t put in Zhou Mi’s number at first. That wasn’t true. He had, and then he’d deleted it in fear that he’d accidentally send something horrible and weird on accident. So instead, he wrote the same two sentences over and over, inserting words, adjectives. Zhou Mi didn’t need to know about his nerves. Yes, it had been great to see Zhou Mi, but he didn’t want to sound too eager or obsessed. He didn’t want to text too soon, but he didn’t want to be too slow and make Zhou Mi think he was rude, either.

He over-analyzed. He knew it. He judged himself for it. He couldn’t help himself.

“Hi. Thank you for bringing the picture yesterday,” Kyuhyun started. And that was good. A solid sentence, and good reinforcement. “You said I should text—“

That was weird. That was like he was texting because Zhou Mi told him to and not because he wanted to. He’d run the conversation with Zhou Mi handing him the card a dozen times, and no, Zhou Mi really had said to text him. He wasn’t just reading into it.

“Let me know when you’re free. I’m free. Anytime.”

Kyuhyun blew out a breath, read over that, deleted all of it. No. That was creepy, he was sure.

“Now you’ll have my number in case you’re free sometime like you mentioned.”

That wasn’t too bad. Not too forward. Putting it in Zhou Mi’s hands if he wanted to meet. Though saying it like that had him wondering if Zhou Mi would think he was texting Zhou Mi just because he wanted to meet. So he erased the end.

“Hope you’re doing okay,” he mumbled as he typed. And he did. He didn’t know what Zhou Mi was up to, but considering the eye bags, probably something tiring.

“Hi. Thank you for bringing the picture yesterday.” Exclamation point? Yes, that was better. “Now you’ll have my number just in case. Hope you’re doing okay.”

Smiley, he capped that off with.

Not too forward. Not too backward. He could live with that.

He entered Zhou Mi’s number again and read over one last time for some errant typo and his finger was hovering over the send button before—

Kyuhyun cursed. He hadn’t even put his name. Sure, maybe from context it was obvious, but it’d be a new number.

“Hi, this is Kyuhyun.”

Perfect.

He hit send before he could change his mind, a little sick as he watched the progress bar. Too late to change anything, too late to take it back.

All he had to do was remain calm, as he added Zhou Mi as a contact to his phone. Zhou Mi was a busy guy. Even if it took a day or two, it was okay. Even if it never happened.

Kyuhyun checked the number one more time. Yes, it was the right number. He was letting it go. He was going to put down his phone, and get a snack, and—

The buzzing of his phone in his hand nearly scared the life out of him. It was going to be a friend, or his mom, or—

“Hi Kyuhyun!! Can you meet for coffee tomorrow?”

Smiley. Smiley. Smiley.

Definitely not his mom, as the name at the top of the text was “Zhou” and “Mi” in careful hanja.

“It depends on the time,” Kyuhyun typed with nervy hands. “When is best for you?”

Forget a snack, as he flopped onto his side like a sunning walrus. He’d just set up a time to meet Zhou Mi for coffee. He laughed in complete disbelief at the wall, at himself, at his life.

***

Kyuhyun stepped out of the subway car 30 minutes before their planned meeting. It wasn’t so much that he couldn’t stand being at home, having spent a fraction less time thinking of what he would wear than he had for the meet and greet. It was something. But he did have visions of the subway shutting down, all the taxis being busy, the skies opening up and pouring. He figured it was just easier to get there early, to putter around a block or two away, and start edging his way back that way. He didn’t want to be too early, but his biggest fear was being too late. So when he slipped into the cafe two minutes early and saw the back of the cap that Zhou Mi had told him he would be wearing, he just about jumped out of his skin.

And Zhou Mi turned, looking back, spotting him, a smile curving his lips as he waved with his fingers. Kyuhyun wasn’t exactly sure how he moved. But he got from the door to the table in record time.

“Hi,” Kyuhyun said, half out of breath, and Zhou Mi, now that he was looking at Kyuhyun and not at people who might recognize him, beamed.

It was like getting welcomed by sunbeam.

“Hi! I’m so glad you could make it today. I needed to get away, and this is one of my favorite places to go and relax.”

Kyuhyun had just gotten his butt really settled into the chair when his eyes fixed on Zhou Mi’s cup, and his head swiveled to the counter where there were people waiting to make drinks.

“Oh,” Kyuhyun said. He’d sat down already. But Zhou Mi wouldn’t want him to just sit there without something to drink, since Zhou Mi had wanted to meet for coffee. “Oh, a drink.”

“Go, go, I’ll be here,” Zhou Mi said, reading his indecision. And he just remembered to grab his bag so he could pay, scuttling to the register, making his order for the easiest iced drink he could think of. He didn’t want to spend a bunch of time waiting for a drink when the drink was so much less important than spending time with Zhou Mi.

“Sorry, I should’ve thought of that before sitting down,” Kyuhyun said, breathless and a bit tense again, like he wanted to fidget. But he couldn’t because the table was small and he’d have been smacking his knees on Zhou Mi’s if he tried to move too much.

He got the sense that Zhou Mi was laughing at him a little, which made Kyuhyun laugh, which also made him flush, pleased as he stared at the rim of his drink. Oh, his drink. He was so glad he had something to do with his hands.

“Have you been getting enough sleep?”

Starting off the conversation like he was Zhou Mi’s mom. Oh yes.

“Sometimes that’s hard. I get naps. Sometimes it’s hard to force myself to go to sleep when I know I should, and other times I’m falling asleep way earlier than I should. I love sleeping though.”

“Yeah, it’s really great.”

“Wait, why, do I look tired?” Zhou Mi asked, suddenly concerned as he leaned forward, tilting his head around so Kyuhyun could get a better view. Kyuhyun didn’t know where to look though, pursing his lips.

“The other day, a little? But not so much today?”

That satisfied Zhou Mi, sitting back and letting Kyuhyun breathe again.

“I did get more sleep last night. You know a lot about what I do. But what do you do?”

Oh right, because he hadn’t figure out how to game and be a fan as a profession. The sudden focus back on him had him gathering his brain for a moment. And he went from having nothing to say, to rambling on, Zhou Mi laughing at his stories, sipping his drink, nodding along. It was probably nice to hear about mundane stuff like staplers trying to eat reports and the eternal evil of copier toner.

“It pays bills, and lets me do stuff I enjoy.”

“My job, too, though I guess I get more stuff I enjoy in the process of it. The long days, it’s hard sometimes. Most of it’s worth it, though.”

That was good. It was easy to worry. Kyuhyun knew not all of it was glamor, not all of it was the joy he knew Zhou Mi took in singing.

“That’s what matters,” Kyuhyun said, and Zhou Mi nodded.

“Not everything will be good all the time, but we can do our best to make the best of it.”

It was surreal, the serenity on Zhou Mi’s face for a moment, before all that crumpled when he laughed, focusing on Kyuhyun again instead of whatever thought he’d been caught up in. Kyuhyun didn’t even get through half of his drink, too caught up in talking about his family and listening to Zhou Mi describe family gatherings to the point where he was gasping laughing at Zhou Mi’s descriptions. He learned more in those minutes than he had in years of being a fan, utterly charmed by the affection there. He secretly harbored the thought that Zhou Mi’s family had to adore him because, of course they had to, but hearing nice stories made that happy little place in him soar.

Some kind of sci-fi booping starting being emitted from Zhou Mi’s pocket, and Zhou Mi flailed, pulling out his phone.

“That’s my alarm. Manager is coming in a few minutes so I have to be around the corner to meet him. This is my reprieve for the day.”

And Zhou Mi had spent it with him? He could’ve napped, or done anything.

“But I have your number now, like you said,” Zhou Mi teased, reaching over and pushing against Kyuhyun’s hand. “I don’t know what my schedule is going to be like, but I’ll text you and maybe we can meet again sometime.”

Kyuhyun was glad he wasn’t standing up.

“Sounds good,” Kyuhyun said.

“Okay, really, running. Have a good afternoon!”

“You too,” Kyuhyun said, watching as Zhou Mi put on his sunglasses, and strode out the door looking like a million bucks.

A few times, he’d even forgotten to be nervous. The Zhou Mi he was a fan of was so lofty and far away, and the Zhou Mi he’d met for a drink was funny, a little goofy, charming. Maybe a little scattered. A guy who loved his family, and worked hard. Kyuhyun’s heart just grabbed a shovel and started digging the trench a little deeper.

***

Having Zhou Mi as an example texter loosened Kyuhyun up a little. Zhou Mi was prone to texting random life updates, like the fact that he’d just buckled himself into a car (good, he was being safe), and that he was trying to stop burping some unfortunate dinner so he could do his hosting job without making noises on camera. That made Kyuhyun snicker a little. It was interesting to see how unpretentious Zhou Mi was. Kyuhyun had always known he was the smallest bit vain, but Kyuhyun would’ve been too if he’d looked like that. The first time that Zhou Mi had sent Kyuhyun a picture that he’d never seen before, Kyuhyun had had to stop and consider. There had been been a couple before that, but they were reposts of pictures that Zhou Mi had uploaded to Instagram or Weibo. Not that Kyuhyun didn’t appreciate the personalized service, and the messages that accompanied them, but he kind of wondered if Zhou Mi realized that Kyuhyun had seen them when Zhou Mi had posted them less than thirty minutes earlier.

The first picture Kyuhyun had sent conversely was not something that Zhou Mi had sent before, but did have Zhou Mi in the picture, too. Sort of. Kyuhyun had been in the subway, and there was an advertisement sprawling on the wall with Zhou Mi’s face on it. He’d put on a thinking face, like he was puzzled by the fact that Zhou Mi was in the shot, and texted, “I didn’t know we had plans?”

Zhou Mi had sputtered at him, a talent over text, and Kyuhyun had gone around that day feeling like king of the planet.

But their planning didn’t go so well, the next time that they met.

It wasn’t just raining, Kyuhyun was pretty sure it was actually just dumping buckets from above him onto his protesting umbrella. Water had started creeping into his shoes minutes before, and besides that, Zhou Mi was late. But when Zhou Mi did show up, he was like a stalking cat, angry at the rain’s intrusion, and a little puzzled at why Kyuhyun was still outside the cafe they’d planned to meet at until he saw how packed it was.

“How much would you like to get mobbed by people today?” Kyuhyun asked as they stared.

“I know another place,” Zhou Mi said.

Though it was resignation, as they trudged through the rain, with Kyuhyun following behind him. At least Zhou Mi had worn a jacket. The next cafe was full up, but the one after it had some tables they could see toward the back.

“How about you tell me what you want to drink, and I’ll order it while you go get a table,” Kyuhyun suggested. Less chance of Zhou Mi getting noticed that way. Zhou Mi agreed, though by the time that Kyuhyun brought the drinks and sat down, he was fretting.

“I didn’t invite you out so you could buy me a drink,” Zhou Mi said, cupping his hands carefully around the cup.

There was impulse cake, too, two kinds of which Kyuhyun had no preference between. If Zhou Mi didn’t want one, he’d get a box and take the other one home.

“A cup of tea isn’t going to break me. Did you want cake? You can have either if you do.”

The look of thoughtful greed on Zhou Mi’s face was pleasing to see. He finally settled on the green tea cake, pulling it toward himself, which left Kyuhyun with chocolate and strawberry. 

“Being inside like this is perfect on a rain day,” Zhou Mi said, and then made a noise when he took his first bite of cake.

A noise that had Kyuhyun nearly inhaling a crumb, and writing it into his memory because of reasons. Zhou Mi liked the cake he’d chosen. Zhou Mi liked cake. Zhou Mi made sounds.

It was the rain and the choking and the heat of the tea that had him flushing, that was all. He spent a long moment communing with his cup before realizing he was being inspected. He was pretty sure he wasn’t broadcasting his thoughts that loudly, and he stared back for a moment before Zhou Mi spoke.

“You didn’t get too wet, waiting? I don’t want you getting sick.”

Zhou Mi was worried about him.

“Just my socks a little. I’ll be fine. It’s not like you dragged me out knowing it was raining. I’ll wear boots next time.”

Zhou Mi seemed to be judging himself, and Kyuhyun just took a punctuating bite of cake. Just a little damp, that was all. Still, at least Zhou Mi was going to be working inside, and he was going straight there so he could get changed and warmed up which kept Kyuhyun from worrying, too.

The fact that there was likely to be a next time still boggled him. And he was all warmed through by the time they’d finished their drinks, and Zhou Mi ducked his head, following Kyuhyun out to the street. The umbrellas made a bubble of distance around them, one that was hard for Zhou Mi who liked to reach out with his hands. But short of Kyuhyun squeezing under Zhou Mi’s umbrella with him, that wasn’t happening. That’d be just a tad shy of cuddling, and probably the back of his pants would get wet.

And SUV turned down the side street they were lingering on and Zhou Mi sighed.

“That’s me. I’ll text you later.”

“Okay,” Kyuhyun said.

There was the shriek of nylon on nylon as their umbrellas met, and Kyuhyun’s umbrella tilted back as he was surrounded by a tall, warm, hug. Kyuhyun didn’t even get a chance to inhale or exhale as his face pressed into Zhou Mi’s jacket, and by the time the hug was over, Kyuhyun had only sort of figured out how to lift his free arm. Not to hug back, but his arm had lifted a little anyway.

“Bye bye,” Zhou Mi said, and Kyuhyun mouthed something similar as Zhou Mi sprinted, splashing to the passenger’s side door and climbing in.

Kyuhyun waved back like it was some kind of autonomic reflex, and he only realized once the SUV turned the corner that he was smiling in a really, probably creepy way. He had raindrops in his hair because of the hug, and scattered down his chest, and Kyuhyun didn’t even notice.

***

Their method of Kyuhyun buying and Zhou Mi waiting seemed to be working, even at the movie theater. Though that time, Zhou Mi had been wise to him, buying the tickets in advance and then being a smart aleck about giving Kyuhyun his food order. So they were even, then as Kyuhyun lugged popcorn and drinks and led Zhou Mi up the single-file elevator.

“Ooh, there’s a deal,” Zhou Mi said as they considered their options.

Kyuhyun went off to buy, but he didn’t get the deal. One popcorn to share, both of them dipping their hands into the same bag, no. It wasn’t that he couldn’t take the touching, but even if Zhou Mi had seemed okay with it, it seemed too forward. But they settled in with their 3-D glasses, their drinks, their individual popcorn servings. Kyuhyun sighed in relief, relaxing to the air conditioning and the sound of advertisements. It was a movie that had been out a while, so there were only a few scattered people, and that made him relax more, knowing that were was less likelihood for Zhou Mi to be spotted. Zhou Mi was happily munching, mumbling about the ads, wiggling a little at catchy song that played during one of them.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been to a movie with someone other than staff,” Zhou Mi said. “Hey, you look cool in those glasses.”

Zhou Mi adjusted his own like he was going to go off and pilot some jet and Kyuhyun laughed, chewing on his straw and relaxing back as a preview began. Zhou Mi was rapt, when Kyuhyun glanced over at him, and he was almost more interesting to watch than the preview.

“Oh, I want to see that,” Zhou Mi whispered, still gawking at the screen. It made Kyuhyun grin and nod. Maybe they’d see it together. Kyuhyun really started into his own popcorn as the previews ended and the movie started. It was some action, thriller thing, tense, and it kept both their attention, immersed. He’d almost finished his popcorn when he remembered that he’d gotten candy, too, and they shared it, rattling the box a little.

“Oh no,” Zhou Mi gasped, and on screen, there was a car chase, the heroes driving like Kyuhyun had only tried in video games. And Kyuhyun was still when all of a sudden Zhou Mi’s shoulder was against his, leaning into him like that would help the car make the turn it was attempting.

“Go, go,” Zhou Mi whispered, urging them.

Though after the car chase was done, Zhou Mi didn’t exactly move, staying leaned against Kyuhyun even though some part of him had to be uncomfortably jammed up against the arm rest. It just made it easier for Zhou Mi to turn his head, to say something about the movie, for Kyuhyun to feel as well as hear him laugh. Kyuhyun leaned Zhou Mi’s way, just a little, so he didn’t have to lean so far and that evened them, a little. His life was so surreal. He even relaxed into it after a while, not quite so conscious that Zhou Mi was Right There, Leaning Against Him. And it wasn’t like Zhou Mi would bite. Zhou Mi’s reactions made the movie about four times more interesting that it actually was, and Zhou Mi actually made Kyuhyun jump once, laughing against him once they’d both calmed down. His shoulder actually felt cold when Zhou Mi sat up straight as the credits started, collecting their trash and making their way out.

When they dropped off their 3-D glasses, Zhou Mi immediately swapped on his sunglasses, following right behind Kyuhyun on the way down the elevator and out.

“I have to get back soon,” Zhou Mi sighed. “My manager will lock me down if I’m not, since the next few days are going to be nuts.”

They walked a ways, so they could actually catch a taxi for Zhou Mi, but it gave them time to actually talk about the movie.

“We’ll see something different next time. Are you afraid of scary things,” Zhou Mi asked, knocking his elbow against Kyuhyun.

“Depends on the movie,” Kyuhyun said.

Zhou Mi beat on his chest like some kind of warrior. “I’ll protect you.”

Kyuhyun laughed, but his first thought was that he couldn’t imagine being scared if Zhou Mi leaned against him like he had that day.

The hug that Zhou Mi pulled him into when the taxi pulled up was one-armed and Kyuhyun just got squished against him, popcorn breath and all.

“Don’t work too hard.”

“I’ll text you! It may be the only sanity I get the next couple of days,” Zhou Mi bemoaned, and got into the taxi. He immediately rolled down the window, and Kyuhyun was laughing at the universe in general. “Thanks for going with me tonight! Have a good trip home!”

They waved until Zhou Mi had to get his arm back into the car or turn himself into an owl as the taxi went down the street. Kyuhyun walked back toward the subway entrance, waving a little at the ground and thinking all the things he hadn’t said before Zhou Mi had gone. Maybe he’d text them, though. Because Zhou Mi had started texting him before he ever got home.

***

Kyuhyun felt like he was some kind of waiter, waggling out onto the sidewalk with paper bowls in each hand. He was strutting down toward where Zhou Mi was waiting and trying not to give his existence away to the whole city by laughing out loud. He just kind of frowned, and Zhou Mi beamed at him, so angelic as they caught a table around the corner, out of the way of people passing. It was in the sun, so people weren’t on that side either, but Kyuhyun didn’t mind.

Zhou Mi had already given him one heart attack for the day. Kyuhyun had been relaxing, totally at ease and getting down the serious business of doing absolutely nothing when his phone had buzzed.

“GET DRESSED! EMERGENCY!!”

Kyuhyun had been torn between running for clothes and texting back. He opted for the latter, texting, “What’s wrong??” and then fleeing for his closet.

He hadn’t even gotten his pajama pants off before Zhou Mi’s next text had come in, and Kyuhyun had sagged onto the edge of his bed.

“I NEED ICE CREAM EMERGENCY. ARE YOU FREE??”

Which was why he’d grumbled at Zhou Mi when he’d arrived, “You’re lucky my heart’s still beating. You scared me to death.”

“Sorry!” Zhou Mi said, patting at him in true apology. “Sometimes the urge for ice cream is just too much!”

Kyuhyun had judged him silently, all the while thinking that surely Zhou Mi had someone else he could call out to meet him for desperate cravings. Not that Kyuhyun minded, obviously. He’d gotten dressed and all but flung himself out of the door before making sure that his hair was okay. Luckily it was, but waiting in line to get both their orders, two waters, two ice creams (and four spoons, per Zhou Mi’s hastily half-shouted demand), gave him time to unwind. He wasn’t trying to careen through the city to get to Zhou Mi’s side. He was there. And then, there they were with their ice cream, in the sun, with Zhou Mi all carefully protected by a hat and sunglasses.

“It is such an ice cream emergency that you’re going to need a spoon for both hands?” Kyuhyun asked, handing Zhou Mi two of the spoons to go with his fruit and nut concoction.

Zhou Mi laughed, delighted, and used one of the spoons to dig up a generous spoonful. “No. It’s so you can taste, too.”

“Oh!”

Kyuhyun put one of his hands on the table, ready to reach for the spoon, and then realizing that that wasn’t how that Zhou Mi was offering it to him. His eyes widened, focused on the orangey-pink swirl, and then his eyes closed just as his lips did, pulling all the cold sweet into his mouth as Zhou Mi pulled back the spoon. He hummed, blinking rapidly as he focused. It tasted of peaches swirled with raspberry, the smokey hint of pecans underneath of that. He half wished he’d gotten that kind instead, and he nodded at Zhou Mi who looked like he was waiting for a verdict.

“That’s really good!”

The grin was immediate. “It’s my favorite kind here. Well, I may like other kinds more, but I haven’t been able to stop getting this kind to see.”

Kyuhyun wanted to laugh, still licking the taste of peach from his lips. And he realized, belatedly, that he’d gotten four spoons. One had been intended by Zhou Mi to share with him. And one, Kyuhyun deduced with a thunk, that Zhou Mi had hoped Kyuhyun would share. His own pick had been dark chocolate, swirled with a chocolate syrup, and did not doubt his selection so much as doubt everything to do with sharing.

“Did you want to try…?”

Even when Zhou Mi heard what it was, he nodded, leaning forward like a baby bird anticipating a meal. Kyuhyun wasn’t stingy, spooning up just as much as Zhou Mi had, and offering it out. His lower lip sagged, watching Zhou Mi’s lips part, watching them close around the spoon. And Kyuhyun felt caught as Zhou Mi’s fingers pressed against the back of his hand, keeping him still as Zhou Mi slowly pulled away from the spoon. His eyes were closed behind his sunglasses, at least for most of it, which was good because it took a few seconds for Kyuhyun to get his face from gawking to neutral.

Zhou Mi tasted and mulled that chocolate like he was in a wine tasting, his tongue darting out one last time.

“That’s really good, too,” Zhou Mi said. “I’m glad I had an ice cream emergency now.”

Kyuhyun snorted, unable to do anything else, and had to do a mental screeching stop before he dug the spoon he’d just used to feed Zhou Mi back into the ice cream. He used the clean spoon instead, savoring but eating quickly before it all turned back into liquid. There wasn’t much talk, mostly hums and brain freeze, and breathing through the cold against their teeth. He was grateful for the cold, because it distracted him from the way his face was burning up - and not from the sunlight.

Kyuhyun finished first, Zhou Mi still delicately poking to get the last nuts from the bottom of the bowl as Kyuhyun rambled about placed he liked to eat, places he liked to go if he was out late, or before a concert, of places his family actually liked. They compared favorite McDonald’s sandwiches, and which type of meat they preferred grilled, and which sides they liked best.

“I’ll have to treat you to beef one day,” Zhou Mi said, drinking from his water bottle and making a comical face as it dribbled down his chin. Kyuhyun shoved over his extra napkin, laughing again, at ease. It was all so normal like that, laughing at each other. It made Kyuhyun wipe at his mouth to make sure he didn’t have any chocolate left behind, and locked away the errant thought of what Zhou Mi might have been able to do if he had.

***

Zhou Mi was antsy, that was the first thing that Kyuhyun realized when Zhou Mi arrived. Too much coffee, maybe, but Zhou Mi had shown up with drinks, inviting Kyuhyun into the SUV and sitting along some side road as Zhou Mi’s manager wandered off to do who-knew-what. It felt very clandestine for some reason, and Kyuhyun wrapped his fingers a bit more tightly around the warm cup as Zhou Mi chattered, his hand flying. Kyuhyun wasn’t sure if he was breathing, his foot tapping along so that Kyuhyun could even feel the vibration of it under his own foot.

He’d never seen Zhou Mi that on edge.

“Is everything okay?” Kyuhyun asked, as Zhou Mi paused to finally take a drink.

“Yeah, everything is— I just wanted to—“

Kyuhyun blinked, staying quiet, keeping out of Zhou Mi’s way mentally as Zhou Mi made a sound and got increasingly frustrated with himself

“There’s something I haven’t been completely honest with you about. Do you have your phone?” Zhou Mi asked.

“Yeah?” Kyuhyun said, and pulled it out. And he watched, mystified as Zhou Mi took it, pressing the power button and powering it off. He didn’t know what Zhou Mi could have possibly been dishonest with him about. It had to be something more important than his favorite ice cream, but just trying to puzzle it out had Kyuhyun uneasy.

And Zhou Mi stared at Kyuhyun’s phone for a moment, handing it back like it was on fire.

“I don’t even know why I’m that paranoid. I just— I need to tell you this without worrying.”

Kyuhyun wondered if Zhou Mi thought he was recording him or something. Kyuhyun frowned but he nodded, tucking away the phone so that Zhou Mi didn’t have to fixate on it any more. At least the nervous movements had stopped. Zhou Mi almost visibly relaxed, setting his drink into the cupholder, and turning more fully to Kyuhyun.

“Do you remember I mentioned the person I sent away, when we were talking about dating a few weeks ago? The one I couldn’t be with?” Zhou Mi shook his head for a moment, exhaling as Kyuhyun processed that and remembered. It was hard not to remember meeting up with Zhou Mi. “The break up wasn’t just because of being an idol, of needing to be careful. It was because he was a man.”

Kyuhyun’s mind balked, staring at Zhou Mi like he was speaking Greek, the way his voice cracked a little on the last bit he said. But Kyuhyun at least got one thought started through. “You were dating…?”

Zhou Mi nodded, meeting Kyuhyun’s eyes and staying there, even though Kyuhyun could tell he wanted to look away. They’d talked about it. About dating. About happiness. About—

“That’s why my letter stood out,” Kyuhyun said slowly, bits and pieces of their meeting starting to make sense. “It wasn’t just about me telling you that you should be happy. Because of what I told you about…me.”

He hated that they had to dance around it, that they couldn’t just say it outright. He couldn’t just say to Zhou Mi, ah, you’re like me, either, because there were so many possibilities. Maybe Zhou Mi only liked men, or maybe he liked men some of the time, and maybe he dated women, too. But no matter how they differed on that point, they at least had something similar. When he hadn’t been able to understand what it was that he had said that would have caught Zhou Mi, because confessing he was gay had been big but not so much that it would’ve stood out like that, he finally got it.

“I’m sorry,” Zhou Mi said.

“No. No, you don’t have to be. I mean, it’s fine you told me, but you didn’t have to. It’s a big thing to have to keep to yourself.”

“What do I look for in a woman, how would I treat my girlfriend,” Zhou Mi said. “Those questions are easy to generalize answers for, and it’s for my career that I answer them, for my dreams. But sometimes it feels like the biggest lie. It’s like they don’t know me. They’re not a fan of…me.”

“They should still be though,” Kyuhyun mused. “And, if you pay any attention to your fans, some of them… maybe sort of suspect? But suspecting is different than knowing. I don’t know how that’d make things different.”

“Is it different for you?”

Kyuhyun tilted his head back, laughing. “Well— Yes? I mean, knowing someone you admire is maybe a little more like you than most everyone else is. Maybe worried, too. I used to wish I wasn’t like this, that I’d just been born “normal,” and it made me so unhappy. That’s why I wanted you to know you could be happy. The people who mattered would still love you. Even if it was secret, as long as you were happy.”

And he stopped, winced. “Did that even make sense?”

Zhou Mi chuckled, relaxing against the seat. “It did. Though I don’t want you to have to worry. You told me something important, so I didn’t want to lie to you at least.”

“It’s still not a lie. When it comes right down to it, you’re a product. What fans see is the shiny exterior, the dream. What’s inside isn’t for people to buy, though. That’s just yours.”

Zhou Mi puffed out his chest, angling his jaw like he was posing. “I am the best box of cereal ever.”

“Only if you have marshmallows.”

They giggled a little bit, tapping their paper cups, but he was glad that Zhou Mi had relaxed, glad Zhou Mi maybe had one less thing to worry about. He was still overwhelmed with knowing, with the fact that Zhou Mi had told him.

“Maybe I don’t owe it to the fans to tell them, or to anyone, but my friends know, and a fan is not all you’ve been for a while now.”

Kyuhyun nodded slowly. “I was a stranger when we met. I don’t usually go around telling strangers either.”

“Was I a stranger or just strange?” Zhou Mi mused, like he was waiting for Kyuhyun to rush in and assure him. When Kyuhyun just stared back, Zhou Mi squawked, “Kyuhyun!”

“We were both strange,” Kyuhyun conceded.

Kyuhyun had so many questions and none of them felt appropriate, like Zhou Mi should give him information himself if he wanted to. So they talked about other things, other schedules Zhou Mi was preparing for, a visit to Kyuhyun’s parent’s soon. Zhou Mi had already given Kyuhyun such a huge thing that it felt greedy asking more, and Kyuhyun wondered if part of Zhou Mi’s worry was that Kyuhyun would reject him once he knew. Hugely hypocritical, that would’ve been. Besides the fact that—

Zhou Mi’s phone buzzed, announcing his manager’s imminent arrival, and Kyuhyun stepped out onto the sidewalk, talking to Zhou Mi through the open door and getting his face smushed into Zhou Mi’s shoulder in an angled hug.

“I’ll text you,” Kyuhyun said before he left, waving as the SUV pulled away.

Kyuhyun had a dozen realizations over the next few days. His eyes going wide in the dark when he was in bed, stopping with a juice carton in his hand in his kitchen, as the realization that Zhou Mi had dated a man crashed over him again. It meant… He didn’t know what it meant, because he packed it away again, folding it over and sliding it closed. Zhou Mi was amazing, and had trusted him with it, and was more like him than he could have imagined or hoped. He was going to protect that trust for Zhou Mi, as the friend he’d never imagined he’d be either.

 

***

Meeting in Zhou Mi’s car. Meeting in restaurants and coffee shops and movie theaters, all of those seemed normal, compared to being buzzed into Zhou Mi’s building, riding up the elevator with no small amount of worry. He could leave any time, though he wasn’t sure exactly why he would want to. He was excited. He was a little scared that he was as excited as he was. He was going to a friend’s house, and he had a bag full of snacks and drinks, and he was so excited to see Zhou Mi that he was all but crawling out of his skin.

Zhou Mi’s voice actually echoed down the hall as he opened the door for Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun nearly felt the need to avert his eyes because Zhou Mi was wearing shorts - not just shorts, but short shorts, shorts so short that he could see a different kind of fabric poking out in one spot, fabric that he assumed to be underwear.

“I sat down and fell asleep. Then I was running around throwing things away. Oh, what is this!”

Zhou Mi took the bag from him, letting him get out of his shoes and into a pair of slippers.

“Oh, my favorite,” Zhou Mi said, waggling one of the drinks at Kyuhyun. It was the drink he’d bought for Zhou Mi, the first time they’d met. Oh, what little he’d known then.

And Kyuhyun got blinded a little by Zhou Mi’s thighs as Zhou Mi put everything down and all but shouted he’d be right back as he motored right back out of the room. He was back in less than a minute, in a pair of sweatpants that contrasted with his red shirt and molded to him as he walked. Oh, Kyuhyun took every single thought the shorts and the pants had caused and locked them away in a box. Not forever, just until Zhou Mi wasn’t right in front of him. Not that Zhou Mi could read his thoughts.

“My mother would scold me for wearing shorts when I have company,” Zhou Mi said, returning to the task of unpacking Kyuhyun’s spoils. “Though she’s the reason that I’m not still living out of boxes and my suitcase. When she got here, she wouldn’t even sit down, dragging me out so I could get furniture.”

It looked…normal. It was bigger than Kyuhyun’s apartment, in a newer building, and deliciously cool, but it wasn’t all that different than Kyuhyun’s own place. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Something opulent, maybe. Chairs crusted with diamonds, gold lamé curtains. Instead there was a big corkboard covered in postcards and notes and pictures, and in a corner, a set of shelves. One was full of books, the other full of things like stuffed animals, little boxes, a stand full of hanging necklaces, and—

Oh, fan gifts. He recognized one of the fansite logos. He’d never actually given Zhou Mi a gift, just sent in notes or made donations, or bought fan goods so that he could support stuff like food support. There was a framed drawing of Zhou Mi there, too, one Kyuhyun remembered as part of a set of gifts for…a birthday, maybe. There were boxes stacked high beside that, too. Other things that he couldn’t display, maybe.

“I like your place,” Kyuhyun said, as Zhou Mi showed him through the outer couple of rooms and where the bathroom was. He got acquainted with a lamp Zhou Mi’s mom had sent him, and the first pressing of the first of Zhou Mi’s CD’s that had Zhou Mi’s name spelled wrong.

Zhou Mi didn’t show him his bedroom. Small mental favors.

But Zhou Mi did have a large TV that they sat down in front of, ostensibly to watch. But it got turned on, muted and then ignored as they faced each other on the couch Zhou Mi said he had bought for entertaining but mostly used for naps.

Kyuhyun imitated what he thought Zhou Mi’s sleeping face would be and got smacked.

“My mom helped set up my apartment, too,” Kyuhyun admitted. “I sort of sat back and let her.”

“Oh, I’d like to see that,” Zhou Mi laughed.

“Mostly she just asks me if I’m eating enough and when I’m getting married,” Kyuhyun sighed. And oh, danger, as Zhou Mi sent him a sympathetic look.

“But she doesn’t know?”

“If she does, she pretends not to. That works for me.”

“And you’re not dating anyone?”

“Not for a while,” Kyuhyun said, shaking his head.

He’d hooked up a few times, but that hadn’t been all he’d wanted it to be. Finding someone to date seemed like some unscalable mountain, sometimes, like maybe he’d just lucked out the last time, or the time before that. Lucky for a little while, anyway. Zhou Mi was talking about his family, too, and Kyuhyun sagged a little, watching him. He’d wondered if it was going to be weird, if he was going to see Zhou Mi through Might Be Gay in Some Way lenses. He had other friends he knew liked guys, and he didn’t expect things from them. That made him feel better. He wasn’t just there, expecting something from Zhou Mi. He was there because he enjoyed being around Zhou Mi, and because Zhou Mi had wanted him there.

Actually, that made him feel pretty good about himself.

And Kyuhyun jumped when his phone in his pocket buzzed the announcement of an incoming email and text.

It was probably rude to check, but he pulled it out anyway. Another topic to choose from, maybe.

He laughed out loud, seeing the subject line.

“Oh, hey. I just found out I got an audience tickets to the fanmeeting of some guy named Joo…Cho…Mi?” It made Zhou Mi laugh like he’d hoped, and he leaned in to see. “At least I won’t have to work to get to meet you after.”

“We should meet after anyway,” Zhou Mi said, nudging him. “Since we’ll be in the same area.”

“You’ll be exhausted.”

“Not too exhausted to meet up a while. Unless something else is going on. We’ll see how it goes.”

“They haven’t been working you too hard preparing?”

“Not really. They’re trying to keep me sharp on some of the dances, though. In a few days we’ll walk the venue again, and then rehearse.”

“They have to keep you sharp on dances? Really?”

Kyuhyun bleated laughing as Zhou Mi smacked his open palm on Kyuhyun’s shoulder repeatedly.

“Don’t make fun! I’ve practiced a lot!”

He couldn’t even take the pouting, ducking his head and chuckling. “You’ve come a long ways.”

“I have,” Zhou Mi said, and glared a little when he realized that Kyuhyun was casting doubt upon his former dance ability. “Some people out there think I dance really well!”

Kyuhyun just nodded, smirking, and he had a huffy man beside him.

“I’ll have to make sure you get a front row seat so you can see better since you apparently haven’t been able to from far away.”

They eyed each other for a moment, chuckling. And then Kyuhyun was a little horrified.

“You don’t have to arrange my seat. I’m just happy I was able to get in.”

Zhou Mi just waved him off like he was saying something ridiculous. “Don’t worry. If I can’t, we won’t think about it, but if I can’t have one person moved up, well.”

Zhou Mi sniffed, and the topic change was easy, falling into talking about one of the commercials for face products on the silent TV, and Zhou Mi pretending he was modeling for them.

“You’d make a good endorser for them,” Kyuhyun said.

And it made him happy to watch Zhou Mi preen.

Zhou Mi enfolded him in a hug before he left, when he was past the edge of being afraid of overstaying his welcome, but also whining inside that he didn’t want to go. Zhou Mi had made a sad face when Kyuhyun said he should get going, but it had been hours, and Kyuhyun felt saturated being near Zhou Mi so long in a way that was far too ebullient almost to be endured..

“Thank you so much for coming over. Sometimes it’s just nice staying in, not having to worry. Oh, did you want to take home the leftovers?”

Kyuhyun shook his head, patting at the soft shirt over Zhou Mi’s back with one hand. “Thanks for having me, and no, if I take all that home, I’ll just eat it.”

Zhou Mi laughed, rumbling both of them, rocking them back and forth. Zhou Mi was so close, too close, not close enough, and he smelled good, and hugged like he was trying to draw Kyuhyun into him, and it was intoxicating. He leaned against the wall of the elevator and tapped his chin, wondering. Wondering if Zhou Mi— No, he shook his head, boxing that away as well. But the hug still followed him home.

***

It turned out that Zhou Mi really could pull strings. When Kyuhyun was scanned in, he was handed an alternate pass and waved up to the front. It wasn’t right in the middle, more toward the far right of the stage, but it very much was in the front row. He didn’t even know who he was sitting by. Important people, lucky fans, he didn’t know. It didn’t matter, either, as the lights went down, and the sound in the audience went up in anticipation. Sparkles burst into the air, and the intro to Zhou Mi’s first single started up, and Zhou Mi danced himself right onto the stage with his backup dancers.

Kyuhyun laughed, cheering with the rest of the crowd as the little mini-concert got off to a rollicking start. Zhou Mi was a little out of breath when he was talking after, patting at his face with a towel and thanking everyone for coming. He shouted to the people in the back - after moving the mic away a little - bouncing up and down like maybe they couldn’t see him waving. He waved front, back, side to side, like he was trying to personally wave at every single fan who was there. Some of them would be lucky enough to meet Zhou Mi afterward, like he had. He wondered if they all had butterflies, if they were going to spend the majority of the concert looking at Zhou Mi on stage and wonder how they were going to exist getting near to him.

It was possible. He was well accustomed to it already, which was more Zhou Mi’s fault than his. It was hard not to be, when Zhou Mi was loud and focused and engaging. He was like a whirlwind of a sunbeam, and music played as Zhou Mi disappeared backstage for a few minutes, a ballad beginning. It was one of Kyuhyun’s favorites, and even just the music had his breath catching a bit.

The audience rose, standing, swaying as Zhou Mi began to sing, their light sticks held, reverent.

Zhou Mi’s voice had always destroyed him, hitting him in odd places, the lilt, the rise and fall of it, the surprising power, and unsurprising sweetness. It didn’t matter if it was something cheesy, or catchy, or something slow and deep, there was something there that had always caught him. It was no different, but the pangs of feeling had him off his guard, listening to Zhou Mi sing. He’d changed out of the plaid pants, in a suit instead with the jacket open and the first two buttons of his shirt beneath it undone. It was the color of wine, and Zhou Mi’s voice was rich with it, singing to his audience, making his way down along the stage and getting closer to Kyuhyun. It wasn’t like Kyuhyun could hear him better like that, but he could see, see the emotion Zhou Mi poured into the song as his hand moved in emphasis, see the fleeting smile that glanced out toward someone, something, in the crowd.

“So many things I’ve never said,” Zhou Mi sang, and Kyuhyun froze when Zhou Mi found him and met his eyes. “I wonder if you hear it anyway. Will you listen?”

The music swelled and Zhou Mi’s eyes lifted as he sang to all of the people behind Kyuhyun. Zhou Mi was there, singing with hundreds of eyes on him, a star, but all Kyuhyun saw was Zhou Mi. He saw the hours they’d spent together, the laughter, the conversation, the quiet, the hugs.

Kyuhyun loved him so much.

He flushed, and his skin prickled cold at the same time, almost gasping, almost twisting with it because it was too much. He’d adored Zhou Mi before. He’d loved Zhou Mi as a fan, seeing him sparkling on some distant horizon, untouchable, unknowable. He didn’t just see the facade any more, the shiny exterior. What was underneath maybe wasn’t quite as polished, maybe was funnier, more unfocused, sweet and silly all at once. But that was who Kyuhyun loved, had been falling for without even knowing. Zhou Mi, the guy who called him up, and insulted his eyesight, and pouted at him. Zhou Mi, the one who bought him drinks, and wore tiny shorts, and couldn’t help reaching to touch him.

Kyuhyun’s knees were jelly as he and the audience sat back down. He’d been nervous out of his mind meeting Zhou Mi, had been so embarrassed with himself as a fan meeting someone both admired and loved. But they were friends, they’d become friends despite Kyuhyun’s bashfulness, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to meet up with Zhou Mi with the sudden knowledge that he didn’t think of Zhou Mi just like that any more. A friend, that was something. A crush was something even less than he felt then, hot and cold, his palms sweating. He was having a crisis in the middle of a fanmeeting, and Zhou Mi was being adorable on stage, playing games with some of his fans. His laughter felt like the gurgles of a drowning man, love settling heavy on him like lead apron when before he’d realized it, it had been delight in being in Zhou Mi’s presence, basking like a flower in the sun.

He wondered if Zhou Mi knew, or had seen, or if Kyuhyun had shown more than he’d even known. But Zhou Mi had never seemed put off, and Zhou Mi knew that Kyuhyun was gay, so he had to know there was at least a chance of it. That’d be irony, of Zhou Mi understanding that Kyuhyun might have Feelings, when Kyuhyun had been completely oblivious. He’d been a fan, had become a friend. He just hadn’t expected more. More from his own side, anyway. Zhou Mi had only offered his companionship, and that was what Kyuhyun would be happy for.

***

As the fanmeeting ended, people were milling, starting to exit, and Kyuhyun felt a hand on his arm. Zhou Mi’s manager. He was tugged along backstage, directed to a little room, and Zhou Mi ducked out of what seemed to be a bathroom as the door closed behind him.

“Kyuhyun! We’re not going to be able to meet after, because we’re doing a larger meet and greet, and I have an early schedule tomorrow.”

“That’s okay. I figured that, anyway.”

“Too smart,” Zhou Mi tsked. “Anyway, I just wanted to see you before I had to rush off. Was it okay?”

Zhou Mi still had makeup on, and he looked so hopeful, that Kyuhyun in that moment at least didn’t have trouble looking at him and acting like himself.

“You know it was great,” Kyuhyun said, rolling his eyes, and Zhou Mi beamed, taking the two steps it took to wrap Kyuhyun in a hug.

“You’ll have to tell me everything you liked later,” Zhou Mi told him, laughing. “Oh, you’re trembling.”

Was he? He wrapped his arms around Zhou Mi’s ribs the same as he’d done so many times, and Zhou Mi stroked along his back. It wasn’t nerves. It just felt like he was buzzing all over, and Zhou Mi… Zhou Mi didn’t help.

“It made me happy to look out and see you sitting there!” Zhou Mi told him, which proved to him that yes, Zhou Mi had been looking at him. “I think I’d have snuck you in even if you hadn’t gotten a ticket.”

The knock on the door kept Kyuhyun from having to answer, almost leaping out of the hug before the door opened.

“Get some rest if you can,” he said, waving as he edged out of the room. And Zhou Mi’s eyes were on his, waving at him until Kyuhyun turned and fled.

Zhou Mi had been happy to have him there. Of course, it was a nice thing to say. Zhou Mi couldn’t know what those words did to him. Kyuhyun planted himself against a wall, waiting for the subway to empty out more, and sent Zhou Mi a text. Words were too much, but he managed with emojis. Music notes, smiley faces, cake, celebration. His way of saying a good job had been done.

There were dreams, little fantasies he’d had even before meeting Zhou Mi, of having a chance at a relationship with him. None of them had been realistic, not really, and none he had any expectations of being real. Nothing had changed. Logic said, sure he had a better chance since he knew Zhou Mi. He wasn’t a stranger, at least, and because Zhou Mi had at least once dated a man, maybe…? But there was a difference between reality and hope. Unless it was something that Zhou Mi wanted, he could push back the other feelings. For his own sake, for the sake of their friendship, he needed to.

***

Zhou Mi asked if Kyuhyun was free by text, and Kyuhyun’s immediate reaction was yes, immediately, any time. Simultaneously to that, his reaction was no, what if Zhou Mi found out, what if Zhou Mi saw through him. And if Zhou Mi did find out, what if he thought that Kyuhyun only liked being around him because he thought it was going to get him something, or because Kyuhyun wanted to date him. At some point, he knew logically that he’d have been happy just being friends, meeting up, having fun. He just didn’t know if his feelings would get the better of him and the wistfulness would cause more pain than not. Distance was kinder. If he’d found out a month before that Zhou Mi was dating someone, he’d have been happy, if not nursing a tiny little sore spot of a fantasy. He wanted Zhou Mi to be happy. But since his feelings had gotten the better of him, he knew he’d find the happiness for Zhou Mi somewhere. But it left him feeling tight. Some things weren’t meant to be, and he’d find a way to cope, but while he could rationally prepare, there was also no sense in getting himself upset about something that wasn’t even on the horizon.

He was pretty sure, or at least hopeful, that his heart wouldn’t break if it happened though. It was just probably that it was going to be bent up a while.

Still, Zhou Mi suggested an actual activity, not just meeting up to sit across from each other at a table and stare at each other for an hour. And still, Kyuhyun had to blow out a slow breath as he hiked up the subway stairs, and found Zhou Mi waiting for him not far down the street. Zhou Mi wore jeans, a long sleeved shirt rolled up to his forearms and open at the collar. He looked good. There wasn’t any surprise there.

Kyuhyun was relieved that Zhou Mi didn’t ask him immediately about his performance at the fanmeeting. They’d talked about that over several days of texting, including Kyuhyun being as cautiously complimentary as a human possibly could be. He didn’t want Zhou Mi to think he was hitting on him, or that he was trying to be sweet because of nefarious reasons, or whatever reasons Zhou Mi could read into it. He left out all of the feelings realizations, and instead sent veiled compliments/insults about Zhou Mi’s dancing, and the faces he’d made, and linked Zhou Mi to a couple of fan videos to demonstrate his point.

And yet still, there they were walking into a massive library with Zhou Mi getting distracted by a big display for people to donate books, and then Kyuhyun dragging him down amongst the stacks before he got recognized by the entire city. There were just rows and rows, and other floors, too, as they rode up an escalator and wandered down into a different section.

“Do people still read this many books?” Kyuhyun wondered, and Zhou Mi shushed him like he’d spoken a sacrilege.

“Not that I can talk because I don’t read nearly enough.”

“I think with your schedules, you can be forgiven,” Kyuhyun said. It felt like routine, even though sometimes he could feel something simmering under his skin. Or like maybe he’d burst into flames if he looked at Zhou Mi straight on. “Sometimes I can’t help but buy a novel when I’m at the airport and about to go on a trip, but I read mostly on my phone or something.”

They stopped in a row of what looked to be automotive books on one side and cooking books on the other. No one else was there, at least not right then, so they could talk without still moving.

“I mostly sleep if I’m not doing something on a trip,” Zhou Mi laughed. “If I’m traveling for fun, I like to see things, eat the local food, really explore what I can. But then I spend a lot of time in the pool and just letting myself breathe.”

“Where do you like traveling most?” Kyuhyun asked, not wanting to sound too creepy even though he was pretty he already knew.

And Zhou Mi saw right through him, elbowing him. “Do you really not know?”

“Okay, so yes, I do know. But I don’t know where exactly, or why. I read your book, though.”

Again, Zhou Mi raised his eyebrows. “You _read_ it?”

“I looked at the pictures and read someone else’s translation,” Kyuhyun said, scowling. Zhou Mi had to muffle his laughter behind his closed fist.

“I should write you notes that you have to translate. Texts would be too easy. I could buy you a dictionary. Or maybe only speak to you in Mandarin?”

“That would be speaking at me, in that case,” Kyuhyun said. “But what if I mistranslated the notes and thought you were calling me a mouse’s snot or something?”

“Maybe that should be your nickname?”

Kyuhyun made a sound of protest as Zhou Mi started cooing unintelligible words at him, while reaching out and pinching Kyuhyun’s cheek.

Kyuhyun wondered if his unimpressed face was really showing through when Zhou Mi laughed and let him go.

“Okay, maybe we can find something else. But that gave me an idea. Not about that. But they have travel books here, right? Photo books of different types. We should go find some that are interesting and look at them together!”

They were in nonfiction, so surely they had to be around there somewhere.

“Sounds fun,” Kyuhyun said. 

They followed each other for a while, browsing up and down. They found some nature books in one row, and browsed opposite ends, picking out a few, and Kyuhyun crouched down, trying to decide between books on volcanoes.

When he looked up, Zhou Mi wasn’t near him any more. Or, in sight at all for that matter. Kyuhyun’s mouth opened, and then he shut it immediately, because that was definitely not the way to stay unnoticed, shouting Zhou Mi’s name. He got up and went down the aisle, and nearly ran into Zhou Mi turning the corner.

“I thought I lost you,” Kyuhyun said, heart frantic for about a dozen reasons including Zhou Mi going missing for about 15 seconds, and the smile that brightened Zhou Mi’s face when Kyuhyun spoke. He grinned back out of reflex, and embarrassment, because yes, that was awesome. Make Zhou Mi think that Kyuhyun thought he was inept.

“I have an okay sense of direction from shopping a lot,” Zhou Mi assured him, patting at Kyuhyun’s arm. Kyuhyun just glared. “I think the travel books at that way, but I want to see what’s down here, too.”

“Why don’t we meet up at the tables as soon as we’re done? Five or ten minutes?” Kyuhyun suggested, and Zhou Mi nodded like it was going to assure Kyuhyun he wasn’t going to get lost in quicksand in between. Kyuhyun just sniffed. “Yell if you need help.”

“I will,” Zhou Mi said, all air and grace, and then he wiggled as he walked away which was utterly unfair.

Kyuhyun rubbed at his chest and his heart that was still trying to recover from all that smiley-ness right in his face. Yes, time to pick stuff out on their own gave him space to get himself together again. He couldn’t just look at Zhou Mi askance forever or stand four feet away without Zhou Mi figuring out something was up. He picked up books at random that looked interesting, including a couple of travel books. He started down toward the direction Zhou Mi had gone in to see what else was down there and they passed each other like ships in a canal. Kyuhyun raised his eyebrows and Zhou Mi lifted one hand to point two fingers at his own eyes and then at Kyuhyun as though to say he saw Kyuhyun or was watching him.

Kyuhyun pretended not to understand and kept on going, poking around and keeping an eye on his watch. Seven minutes into their agreed time, he made his way to the tables, and at eleven minutes, Zhou Mi appeared with a stack of books a few taller than his. Kyuhyun tilted his head and led Zhou Mi to the table on the end, one they could face away from the other tables and toward a wall for maximum privacy. Kyuhyun wished there was some kind of room they could lock themselves in, except—

He took that thought to a different conclusion, and decided their very public table was just wonderful.

Between them, their haul was eclectic. There were travel books, five between them. One on Thailand, one on China, two from Europe, and two of general world places. There was a book on different types of boats, one of the universe, some kind of compendium of animals, an art book, the book on volcanoes, and random photography. If they spent a lot of time on each book, Kyuhyun didn’t know how long it would take. His stomach was going to get antsy about it before his brain was. That or he’d just collapse from emotional exhaustion.

“Let’s start with this, since you wanted to know what places I liked,” Zhou Mi said, bringing forward the book on Thailand. “They don’t have my book here.”

They both tsked at the same time, and the book was opened between them, about six inches between their closest arms. Kyuhyun propped an elbow on the table, nervously playing with the edges of his hair, rubbing against his neck, leaning his head against his raised knuckles as they looked through the book. Some of it Zhou Mi knew, and some of it he didn’t, but all of the pictures were gorgeous. Though when Zhou Mi spoke, his whole focus on the picture, Kyuhyun watched Zhou Mi talk instead, the movement of his lips, the wrinkling of his nose, the way he blinked. Kyuhyun had to rapidly look down at the book to keep from being caught staring at least once, holding his breath, nodding, making an inane comment.

Well, it was a nice roof, after all.

Kyuhyun relaxed, just a little. A fraction of a fraction. No chance of Zhou Mi floating off and getting lost, as they looked through pretty pictures of paintings. No chance of Zhou Mi x-ray visioning into his feelings when they were talking about seashells or wingspans. He just had problems, was all. There were Zhou Mi’s fingers pointing things out, and his purposely hushed laughs, and the little sounds of interest he made as they tilted the books and he got closer to really see. The real art in the building, Zhou Mi’s profile, he thought, embarrassed at himself even before the thought was finished.

There were a few places in the book on China that Kyuhyun had been. More that Zhou Mi had been to, but a few they both wanted to see.

Zhou Mi pretended to snap his fingers. “I’ll use my powers of teleportation to take us there right now.”

“You are holding out on me,” Kyuhyun said, eyeing him.

“Singer by day, superhero by night.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Kyuhyun!” Zhou Mi whined, nudging at him. “Come on, you could be my sidekick.”

“What would I do? Carry your suitcase?”

“Let’s go the next book,” Zhou Mi interjected, ignoring Kyuhyun’s slight insult and doubting of his own abilities in one fell swoop.

It was the book on volcanoes. And if Kyuhyun had been unprepared for seeing Zhou Mi’s profile and watching him speak, Zhou Mi one-upped himself on destroying Kyuhyun’s ability to think. The book was smaller, having to tug it back and forth to be able to see. And apparently, Zhou Mi got tired of that, or of leaning, because one moment the space between them had gotten smaller due to Zhou Mi leaning in, and the next, the chair Zhou Mi was on caused a small sound as it scraped against the floor. Not only was Zhou Mi closer, but his arm was draped over the back of Kyuhyun’s chair, his body pressed up against Kyuhyun’s shoulder.

If Kyuhyun turned his head far, it wouldn’t be much effort to bump noses. If Zhou Mi breathed hard, Kyuhyun could have probably felt it. It made all of the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, his left hand clenched on his thigh as he used his right hand to turn the pages. Anything to keep from moving, from touching more than he had to. He might have tried not breathing, too, but then he probably would have swooned into Zhou Mi’s lap.

Imaginary Zhou Mi: What happened, why did you faint on me?

Imaginary himself: Being near you was too overwhelming.

Imaginary Zhou Mi: Oh, Kyuhyun! (heart) (heart)

Yeah, no. It wasn’t his heart’s fault that Zhou Mi hadn’t been blessed with a sense of personal space. Zhou Mi also seemed blissfully unaware of Kyuhyun going tense as a fence post and his neck still like he was in a brace.

“It’d be amazing to see but also scary,” Zhou Mi said, tracing his finger along the bottom edge of lava spilling down a hillside.

“Yeah. Probably better from a distance. Get too close, and you could get,” and Kyuhyun inhaled as he felt and saw out of the corner of his eye that Zhou Mi’s face had swung toward him. “Burned.”

He didn’t squeak it. He didn’t know how he managed it, but he didn’t. His whole face turned to lava, though, clearing his throat as he tilted his head a little bit and turned the page. Just act normal. Just act like the guy his heart was currently gnawing on in glee wasn’t inches away and all warm up against him. Just act like maybe what he’d said wasn’t a bit too true, like Zhou Mi was the lava and he was the observer. He’d made the risk, taken the chance.

“Probably not a good place to build a house,” Kyuhyun said as they turned the page, and a spout of lava was shooting up into the sky.

“This is where the teleportation would come in handy,” Zhou Mi laughed.

He both thanked himself for choosing that book and highly regretted it as they set the book on volcanoes aside. They moved on to a book of random shots of food, Kyuhyun relaxing as the pages turned. He couldn’t be tense around pictures of tomatoes, and artistic shots of wheat. Though Kyuhyun’s stomach had its own opinion about halfway through, and Kyuhyun froze up again as the sound curled between them.

“Such accolades!” Zhou Mi said, hushed and awed.

Kyuhyun smacked the back of his hand against Zhou Mi’s thigh, and they still managed to finish the book at least. Though there were four books left, as they stretched and stood. Kyuhyun’s whole body felt off balance from holding himself so stiffly for so long.

“I wanted to finish these,” Zhou Mi said, rifling through the leftover books. “Maybe I should check them out?”

“Do you have a library card?”

Zhou Mi’s mouth opened, and then closed. “Oh. Maybe not.”

It made him sigh, but Kyuhyun picked up the books. “I’ll check them out, then, and you can take them home. I trust you that you won’t lose them or drop them in the tub or something.”

“I’ll protect them with my life,” Zhou Mi promised, and sent Kyuhyun a sly look before Kyuhyun could protest that maybe that was taking it a little too far.

Zhou Mi ducked out the front door as Kyuhyun was checking out, and by the time Kyuhyun slipped out, too, Zhou Mi’s sunglasses were already on, and they transferred the books into Zhou Mi’s bag.

“I wanted to treat you to something so your stomach didn’t have to just react to a book, but I need to go soon,” Zhou Mi said as they dodged people and wandered down the street. “We didn’t even get to talk about what you thought about the fanmeeting.”

“I told you by text,” Kyuhyun said, and felt his traitorous face start to heat again as he tried to remember just exactly what all he’d said, and what all he should be embarrassed about.

“But I didn’t get to hear! That’s different.”

Kyuhyun might have answered, in some unknown language, as Zhou Mi pulled him into a hug. Zhou Mi’s bag, full of books, helpfully patted Kyuhyun on the ass, and Kyuhyun nearly got his nose stuck in Zhou Mi’s collar before lifting his chin and actually taking part in the hug.

“I’ll buy you something to eat next time, and then we can talk,” Zhou Mi rationalized. “Right?”

Zhou Mi jostled him, and it rattled his brain and all of his common sense with it.

“You already know you were great.”

Zhou Mi gasped, dramatic and loud, and he just squeezed Kyuhyun tighter. “See! I need to hear it!”

Zhou Mi was mentally strutting in his head, he could tell. That was the guy he was in— That he loved, an overly tall peacock who hugged him like he was just trying to absorb Kyuhyun right in. It made him feel boneless and like he was going to just float into space, and he began to tap out some alarmed patterns on Zhou Mi’s back before Zhou Mi grumbled and let him go.

“Sure, we can talk next time,” Kyuhyun said, out of breath, at that moment willing to say anything, flushing from his hairline to who knew where as Zhou Mi lifted a hand in victory.

“I will hold you to that! Think about where you want to eat! Oh!”

Kyuhyun was engulfed in a last-second surprise hug, gurgling as Zhou Mi rocked into him, almost nuzzling against his cheek as he said, “We’ll meet up soon, promise.” And then Zhou Mi drew away, laughing.

“Okay, I have to get a taxi. Isn’t the weather gorgeous today?”

Kyuhyun waited with him, chatting about the weather, about the stores on the other side, about weird clouds. Zhou Mi was a little ungainly, endearingly, as he folded himself into the taxi, but he waved back at Kyuhyun for what seemed like ages as it pulled away.

Kyuhyun didn’t even know what to do with himself. He was overwhelmed, and he was electrified, and there was suddenly no Zhou Mi around to absorb it all. His stomach’s needs got put off as he relived hug one and hug two, and Zhou Mi leaning against him in the library, and Zhou Mi’s grin when they’d almost run into each other. Eventually he gave in to the rumbles, letting his jitters take him as he decided where to eat.

He’d almost finished eating, when he got a text. There was no actually message to it, just a picture of some Chinese writing, followed by two drawn hearts. He knew those hearts, how Zhou Mi added them to his signatures at fansigns. It was like looking at an old friend. He’d look the characters up online at home, he thought, if he survived that long.

***

The note, as far as note went, was cute. “Kyuhyun is the best!” it read, with its two little hearts. That made him grin, possibly also preening, and when he texted back, “I agree!” he got an almost instant reply.

“Do you like it?” Zhou Mi texted back immediately.

“I do like it. You’re smart.”

“Just smart? Kyuhyun!!!!!”

Kyuhyun laughed, almost feeling Zhou Mi’s frustration through the phone. “What? Being smart is good! The note made me happy.”

Kyuhyun hit send before he really could think about it, and wondered if that last part was too flirty. Considering he was teasing Zhou Mi right before, probably not.

“I’m glad it did,” Zhou Mi texted, and Kyuhyun could almost see the pout. “What about me?”

“Yeah, you made me happy too,” Kyuhyun said at his phone. But he definitely did not type that. However, he did settle on, “The note didn’t write itself?”

That earned him a string of complimentary emoticons, and an invitation to come over to finish looking at the library books. He supposed he could go. He did have to make sure Zhou Mi was taking good care of the books after all. It was completely for that reason and not because he had a sickness that required routine exposure to Zhou Mi’s smile rays or whatever.

He even rolled his eyes at himself for that one.

Kyuhyun brought wine, because he didn’t want to just bring something he’d brought from the store somewhere on the way again. It was a nice bottle, too, one he’d been saving. Which also meant maybe it was a nice bottle that he hoped that Zhou Mi would want to share, and also that he hoped Zhou Mi would like. He’d basically ordered himself into calmness, and to help him, Zhou Mi did answer the door in pants which was good.

But as Kyuhyun got over the “wow, we’re all alone again” feeling, it was Zhou Mi who seemed nervous, buzzing around like a bee, making sure Kyuhyun’s slippers were okay, asking if he wanted something to drink, twice. And then putting his hand on the wine, laughing, almost knocking it over.

“Maybe just water now,” Kyuhyun said, so that maybe Zhou Mi would feel like he’d accomplished something.

Zhou Mi was casual, some kind of slacks, a t-shirt with a logo Kyuhyun had never seen. It accentuated his arms, though. Errant thought, while he was being shooed away and denied the opportunity to help. But the thought that Zhou Mi was adorable wasn’t errant, as Zhou Mi had a little presentation noise as he got their drinks set on the table. He sat down and then patted the couch cushion beside him to invite Kyuhyun to sit, too.

“I’m so glad you were free to come over! Plans fell through with my— Well, you know who Jia and Feifei are, but I didn’t just invite you because they couldn’t— Oh! The books!”

The back of Kyuhyun pants had barely brushed the cushion before Zhou Mi had rocketed onto his feet again. It made Kyuhyun stand, too, not wanting to just sit there as Zhou Mi got the books and brought them back, putting them between their drinks on the table. Then it was just them, standing there, staring at each other. Zhou Mi’s eyes were soft, but worried, too, and Kyuhyun didn’t know what to make of that.

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s— Yes. But.” Zhou Mi stepped closer, and it was clear they weren’t just going to sit down and have a drink. “I didn’t just invite you to look at the books. When my schedule cleared up, it seemed…right.”

Kyuhyun didn’t make a sound when Zhou Mi seized his hand, but it was close. He thought his hand was dirty or something, and stared, anxious, at his nails in case he’d failed in some grooming ritual. But no, Zhou Mi was just holding onto his hand, tracing along his fingers like he was trying to find the meaning of the universe there somehow. Zhou Mi was doing some kind of calming breathing thing, but whatever it was, it wasn’t working its way into Kyuhyun, too.

“I was glad you liked the note I sent a picture of,” Zhou Mi said after maybe the longest moment in history, still stroking along Kyuhyun’s fingers. He was glad Zhou Mi said something, because all that was running between his ears was a hum.

“Oh. Oh yeah, it was cute,” Kyuhyun said, trying to get his brain to stay with the program. He couldn’t just sink into a puddle of adoration and request that Zhou Mi keep touching him.

“This wasn’t what I—Ah,” Zhou Mi said, and began another sentence, that time in Mandarin, Kyuhyun’s ears hearing only his own name at the start. He knew Zhou Mi could see the question marks on Kyuhyun’s face. “What the note said. You are, you know.”

He was? He…was? He was fairly certain the note had said he was the best, and he couldn’t forget the hearts. So if that was what Zhou Mi was saying he was, then. Critical error. Meltdown imminent. Evacuation required.

“I think you mean you,” Kyuhyun said Deflect, deflect. “I was glad you didn’t call me mouse-snot.”

The laughter was quiet, but it was there, like it was hushed for some reason. He could hear, feel his heart beating , too. He didn’t even know what Zhou Mi was saying, what Zhou Mi was doing, how he was supposed to think with Zhou Mi fingers lifting to touch his jaw, his cheek. His hand was free, but it was useless, tingling and completely unhelpful at his side.

“I didn’t expect this at all, but I’m so glad we’ve gotten to know each other better. To become friends.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kyuhyun said.

Zhou Mi had some kind of gravitational pull, he was sure of, and his traitorous hand helped him out, curving at Zhou Mi’s waist as he leaned his face just slightly against Zhou Mi’s hand. It made Zhou Mi meet his eyes, keener, searching for something and Kyuhyun had no idea if he knew how to hide any more.

“Do you— Would you…?” Zhou Mi asked, this thumb sliding along Kyuhyun’s cheekbone.

To any question, to every question, it was yes. He wasn’t sure if he said it, if all he did was think it.

Maybe he had his own kind of pull, because Zhou Mi’s eyes dipped, and Zhou Mi was right there, so close, so warm. He lifted up, just a little, meeting Zhou Mi half way, letting Zhou Mi kiss him. Zhou Mi’s lips were soft, and the first brush of them against his shot tingles down his spine. He angled his head, asking for more, rubbing their lips together, the way they clung together as Kyuhyun hummed, trying to find purchase on the back of Zhou Mi’s shirt. Zhou Mi gasped a little at that, like he’d been tickled, and then they were more laughing than kissing, but they were definitely still kissing. It felt like his skin was alive, his chest tight. That was Zhou Mi’s nose pressing against his face, and Zhou Mi’s lips clinging to his, pressing against his cheek, the top of his neck. Kyuhyun felt like he felt too much, trying to breathe, trying to get more control rather that just buzzing in the disbelief of what had just happened.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to be able to do that?” Zhou Mi asked, leaning his head against Kyuhyun’s.

“No?”

He wasn’t sure if he was ready to know. Just as long as Zhou Mi didn’t ask Kyuhyun how long he’d been imagining it, they were good. If they were going to have a competition on length of time wanting, then Kyuhyun was going to win if only because he had the upper hand on knowing who Zhou Mi was for longer.

“Yeah. It was so long. And then I finally told you and… And I could!”

He was half sure of what Zhou Mi meant, so he wasn’t just fishing, but at least he could feel the individual beats of his heart again.

“Told me what?” he asked, and he was almost certain that Zhou Mi stamped his foot.

“Kyuhyun,” he whined, and Kyuhyun chortled at him, only making him wiggle more as he squeezed Kyuhyun and audibly pouted. “You got my heart in that text. But I just really, really, _really_ —“

“Okay, okay, okay,” Kyuhyun gasped, laughing a little at Zhou Mi’s insistence. 

“Really!!” Zhou Mi kept going. “Really think you’re the best. It was scary. I haven’t felt like this about someone in a long time.” And then Zhou Mi gasped, nearly startling Kyuhyun to death as he hauled Kyuhyun back far enough to see. “Can this be a date??”

A war was bubbling inside of him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to accept, it was a war for how he wanted to answer in the face all that happy hope on Zhou Mi’s face bubbling in front of him like a particularly joyful fountain.

“Well, let me think,” Kyuhyun said, but his voice was shaking trying not to laugh or maybe to shout, and the fact that he was being trolled was clearly evident to Zhou Mi so he gave up. Mostly. “I guess since I’m already here.”

But it was excuse enough to offer another kiss, in case Zhou Mi really wondered.

Or two or three kisses. 

“Are you going to make me go out and come back in again?”

“I should,” Zhou Mi sniffed, but he grinned then, too, and the parts of Kyuhyun that were trying to really be normal and rational just melted. And Zhou Mi actually cooed at him, tugging him down onto the couch for “real date time.” Obviously he’d said yes, yes, this was a date, with full mental faculties. But as they got all arranged, he just sort of had reality trickle down and crush him like he was in some kind of cartoon. He was wheezing inside, his arm nestled around Zhou Mi’s back and their thighs all pressed together as they looked through another book. It was all pictures of storms and cloud formations, and Zhou Mi’s arm seemed to get heavier and more bold on his shoulders.

And when it got too much, when the realization just soaked him through and started overflowing, he stiffened, staring at Zhou Mi like he was about to disappear.

“This is a date,” he said, the words both mumbled and rushed.

“Yes?” Zhou Mi ventured, far too cautious.

“I just. Needed to say it? Just, this is. A date.”

He wasn’t sure if he started smiling first, or if Zhou Mi started smiling because of him, but it was suddenly a cheek-hurting smile fest. Zhou Mi’s arm around his shoulders was a really good lure, reeling him in so they could figure out how to stop smiling long enough to kiss. And it made him kind of wriggly feeling when Zhou Mi just sort of leaned his head and admired him.

“If you knew everything I wanted to tell you or ask you, you’d probably run away,” Zhou Mi confessed.

“No,” Kyuhyun said, and they had an argument simply in sounds for a minute. He thought of all the times they’d hugged, or when Zhou Mi had touched him. All the times he hadn’t wanted to be too creepy, to make Zhou Mi uncomfortable. And there they were practically snuggled together, and his mouth had touched Zhou Mi’s, and—

Mostly he had to touch Zhou Mi out of self-defense, to quiet his mind. He settled on Zhou Mi’s neck, his face still being too intimate, and then he had the pleasure of watching Zhou Mi fluff in pleasure. He hadn’t even been sure that was possible.

“Tell me one thing then,” Kyuhyun bargained.

How to choose just one thing, that was written all over Zhou Mi’s face as he covered Kyuhyun’s hand and held it against the skin of his neck.

“I don’t want to move but it’s also really hard to stay still because I want to go shout and roll around,” Zhou Mi said, laughing at himself. “The neighbors would really wonder what I’m up to.”

It made him imagine some kind of tumble gym with them bouncing off of walls and yelling. It also dipped into a different kind of rolling around.

“I hope that’s not me the second I leave. I’d be running down the street and people would think I was losing reality.”

“I’d like to see that.”

“No!” Kyuhyun said, and Zhou Mi laughed harder. “What was a question then?”

“Just…everything. Tell me about everything. Tell me about… Your friends.”

A safe topic. It became more like talking, easy, like they had from the start, really. Zhou Mi let his hand go and Kyuhyun ended up half touching Zhou Mi’s stomach, feeling him chortle as they traded stories about friends, outings.

“One of my friends knows we’ve hung out, but he’s trustworthy,” Kyuhyun said. “And I obviously didn’t have anything to tell, then, though he knew I—“

Kyuhyun cleared his throat as Zhou Mi’s eyebrows rose. “Knew you…?”

“Knew I was into you,” Kyuhyun grumbled, flushing from his ears right down his neck just to say it out loud, right there with Zhou Mi’s eyes dancing.

“I think there was some suspicion on my side, too. Normally if they invite me out, I’m either working, or shopping, or free. So they’ve been teasing me about my new boyfriend. Ahhh!”

Zhou Mi sighed like he’d just won the universe, and Kyuhyun quite literally wanted to squirm or maybe break into a dozen pieces.

“They’ll want to meet you,” Zhou Mi put out there, and it was like a splash of ice water on his blissful little feelings. Oh, other people. “I can’t keep it from them. And your friend, if you want, you can tell him.”

It was a measure of trust. It was also something that told him that Zhou Mi saw something in him, in them, that was longer than a date or two. He could’ve asked Kyuhyun not to tell anyone, until they were sure, or until Zhou Mi had a chance maybe to meet Ryeowook and evaluate for himself. There was a measure of danger to Kyuhyun, being outed, but it had the chance of severely damaging Zhou Mi’s world. Not just something fleeting, they had a real chance.

“You sure are confident after one date,” Kyuhyun said, but he kissed back right away when Zhou Mi leaned into him. And he smacked at Zhou Mi’s hands as they looked through the last two books. Or, they paged through them, anyway, still too wrapped up in each other.

Kyuhyun took the books home in a bag, nearly dissolving into his shoes from soft kisses when he left so that Zhou Mi could actually get some rest. 

“I’ll text you when I know when I’m free so we can plan date two,” Zhou Mi said, just before opening the door for him. “And I’ll text you in between.”

“Okay,” Kyuhyun said, standing in the hallway and, well. Breathing. Breathing was good. “Okay. Bye?”

“Bye,” Zhou Mi said, waggling his fingers and sticking his head out to look before blowing Kyuhyun the teeniest, tiniest kiss.

No, Kyuhyun didn’t run screaming down the sidewalk as he left. He might have been shouting some kind of triumphant march under his breath though. He couldn’t even fathom it. He’d just— No, he couldn’t get his head around it.

He didn’t even know what he was going to do with himself when he could.

***

He’d been on a date with Zhou Mi. Oh, it had been informal, and if he’d had a diary it totally would have blared “FIRST DATE WITH ZHOU MI” and things had gone so well after he’d gotten home. He probably could have excavated a mountain with all the extra energy he had, and he blasted through projects, took out all his garbage and recycling, took on his dirty dishes. Dating was apparently very productive for him. Or at least it was, until his music player decided it hated him while he was folding his socks. One second he was absolutely fine, and the next Zhou Mi’s voice was drifting out to him, and he might as well have been hit over the head. He had two options: turning off the music immediately, or suffer through the feelings.

And that was how he ended up face down, half on and half of his bed, his breathing cracking a little bit as Zhou Mi’s voice swelled. He couldn’t even see—

It wasn’t even like the fanmeeting, where he had the atmosphere, and Zhou Mi moving and breathing. It was like being handed a neat little package of his emotions set politely to destruct.

Zhou Mi had wanted to kiss him for a while. Zhou Mi had nearly been all wrapped around him. Zhou Mi had feelings and wanted to go on another date, and the little island he’d been bricking himself into so that his inconvenient emotions didn’t spoil a precious friendship apparently had a harbor that Zhou Mi had sailed right into. He had to throw out the hope, and trying to talk himself out of his feelings. They’d just get to know each other. Dating.

Kyuhyun squirmed back around and landed on his butt next to his bed. Fitting. The song wound down. His heart resumed beating.

***

It was four and a half days, something squeaked into a weekend last minute with Kyuhyun having fifteen minutes to arrive, throwing clothes on and flying out the door, but the second date happened.

Zhou Mi spotted him, standing up straighter, and with his hands still at his hips he squeezed his fingers up and down in some modified wave that was both adorable and not very subtle.

“Hi,” Zhou Mi said, still a respectable distance away, but leaning into him.

“Hi,” Kyuhyun replied. And he had other things to say that were just not as important as the helpless smile that trembled his lips wide. That probably said more than all his words could’ve anyway, and he flopped a hand helplessly at his side. And then he started getting embarrassed for himself as the silence kind of stretched and Zhou Mi shimmered just a little too cutely. “You said you were feeding me.”

“I may have,” Zhou Mi agreed. And by phone, no less. It had been a cute invitation, Zhou Mi’s voice peppy with road noises in the background as he was whisked from here to wherever. It wasn’t like he was of a mind to say no, but Zhou Mi’s half breathless little laugh, and “I can’t wait to see you again,” had him lying as a lump of dazed human flesh on his bed for at least three minutes after he’d hung up.

He may have stuttered out “He can’t wait to—“ before turning his head into his mattress and laughing, but no one was going to pry that out of him.

The most touching they got before being seated though, was Zhou Mi’s hand on his back as they entered into the restaurant. But the table was small and they both had long legs so Zhou Mi’s knee was tapping out a rhythm on his as they chose their food. Plus, inside Zhou Mi had taken off his sunglasses so he could see Zhou Mi’s eyes. It didn’t help his heart doing loops, but at least he could see that Zhou Mi was equally as excited slash nervous.

“Why does this almost feel like a first…” Kyuhyun was processing, trying to think of a codeword. “Meeting?”

Zhou Mi laughed at him, subtly. “Maybe because it’s more public? I was thinking of just having you come over again, but this will keep us on good behavior.”

Kyuhyun’s brain paused and beeped repeatedly wondering just what exactly that Zhou Mi would consider bad behavior. After all, all they’d done was cuddle, and kiss. And kiss.

“We didn’t really get a chance to process what was happening before the last…meeting started,” Kyuhyun rationalized.

He wasn’t even sure what they would’ve done with a second date at Zhou Mi’s place. Kissing some more would’ve been an option, and he was completely on board with that.

“What’s that face for?” Zhou MI wanted to know.

Oh, nothing. _Just thinking how much I like your mouth._

“Just thinking of all the things we…” Kyuhyun stopped again, trying half a dozen ways he could end that without making a giant double entendre. “Just thinking of all the things.”

“All the things,” Zhou Mi said, enjoying Kyuhyun’s discomfort immensely as they started digging into their food. “We should go see another movie sometime. Then I’ll really have a reason to lean in close.”

“You were— that was on purpose?”

Zhou Mi blinked at him. “Oh. Yes.” That was a sheepish though slightly pleased expression if he ever saw one. “So, one of those things I told you about that I wanted to tell you. I really liked being close to you. I was still working up courage to tell you about a lot of things, and realizing just how much I liked you.

So Zhou Mi had been creeping on him a little. And there he’d been trying not to make Zhou Mi uncomfortable or to seem like a weirdo and Zhou Mi had been feeling him up almost. He was. Flattered. Amused. Embarrassed. A tiny bit turned on.

“You smelled good, too,” Zhou Mi saw fit to throw in there, because Kyuhyun didn’t have enough to completely flatten himself with as it was.

“I liked the hugs,” Kyuhyun said faintly. “You— Yeah, the hugs were good.”

That got him all the preening he could ask for, and a Zhou Mi leaning forward.

“You weren’t disappointed when you got to meet me?”

“Have you seen yourself in person?” Kyuhyun asked, totally serious. Zhou Mi’s eyebrows flew up and, seriously he had no idea what Zhou Mi even was thinking with that question. “Everything I ever thought about what you would be like was completely not enough. You were everything I thought, but way more. Just…more.”

What he’d known, really known, of Zhou Mi had been like trying to compare a standee that was pretty but made of cardboard to the real, breathing man in front of him. He’d probably find ways of articulating that to Zhou Mi but not in public and not right then when he was already flushing at having just said what he did.

Zhou Mi cooed at him, which made it worse, and two seconds later, Kyuhyun had to thrust out a napkin because food had dribbled down Zhou Mi’s chin. Zhou Mi took the napkin, and Kyuhyun’s fingers too, squeezing before dabbing at his face and making sure all was pristine to Kyuhyun’s satisfaction.

“You believe me that I wouldn’t let you sit there with some still left?” Kyuhyun asked, feeling a bit wicked.

Zhou Mi raised an eyebrow, running his fingers over his face and finding nothing left behind.

“I guess until you give me reason not to.”

“It was cute. But I like your face like it is.”

Zhou Mi’s lips curved, his calf rubbing against Kyuhyun’s, and they ate, and talked, relaxing into each other in subtle increments. The touching of their legs, brushing of fingers across the table as they traded phones to show off weird pictures or funny stories, Kyuhyun able to study Zhou Mi’s face instead of just skating across it. He liked seeing Zhou Mi enjoying the food, liked when his eyes lit up because he wanted to say something and couldn’t because his mouth was full. Of course, then there was the race to chew and swallow, swigging his tea and almost sputtering it as Kyuhyun covered up his own mouth because he was laughing too hard at the forty desperate faces Zhou Mi had just gone through.

“I’ll still be here when you’re ready to talk,” Kyuhyun reminded him.

It had just been a really important airport story he’d had to share was all. Kyuhyun enjoyed it, and Zhou Mi turning red. Though he enjoyed the food, too, even if he never really lost the feeling of being just a bit on edge.

“I want to buy you dessert, too,” Zhou Mi said, looking mournfully at the time on his phone. Like all their other meetings, it was snatching time between activities, time that probably carved out of other things that Zhou Mi could be doing. Maybe like sleeping. Kyuhyun glanced at him a little more sharply, but he didn’t look any more tired that he usually did. Which he wasn’t sure was good or bad.

Kyuhyun loitered while Zhou Mi paid. He’d buy something next time, he’d decided, and they’d barely even made it to the alley before a car was pulling up. And that, that marked the end.

Zhou Mi shuffled him into a hug, and Kyuhyun’s arms cooperated, hugging back like he ought to and being a bit amazed by Zhou Mi’s warmth even through his shirt.

“I’ll kiss you twice next time we’re alone,” Zhou Mi promised, quiet, nearly talking into his ear and clutching him a little tighter. Which was good, because it kept Kyuhyun from thinking of collapsing.

“Only twice,” Kyuhyun joked.

“Twice as much,” Zhou Mi said all prim. He waggled a finger as he let go and started to get into the car. “Don’t be greedy.”

“You’re the only reason I would be.”

Zhou Mi send him a brilliant smile, waving, sending out the world’s tiniest, fastest blown kiss as the car pulled away. Kyuhyun didn’t make a motion to catch it, but he did stand there like a statue of a baboon just taking things in. He half wished he’d already told someone about what had happened, the Big New Development in his life, but then again he wasn’t sure if any one single person had the time for him to spew out all of the varying thoughts in his head. Some of them were tangled like balls of yarn and others were going off like a fireworks display.

Though when it came right down to it, he’d been on a date, and he’d liked it. It made him pull out his phone, texting, “Good food, good to see you. Hope you’re free again soon!”

He amended it with dog emojis and a slice of pizza.

And then sent a second text almost immediately after, “Make sure to schedule plenty of rest.”

Dates were definitely second place to keeping away exhaustion. If he ever saw Zhou Mi post another picture because he was getting an IV drip it would be too soon.

“Yes, I will!” Zhou Mi replied back, clearly laughing at him through text. “Can I just pack you around in my bag?”

Kyuhyun snorted. “You would need more muscles for that.”

Zhou Mi sent him a pouting picture of him trying to flex and take a picture at the same time.

On a scale of one to ten, with one being completely unaffected, and ten being completely sunk, Kyuhyun was a zebra.

 

***

Date three was impromptu coffee picked up by Kyuhyun on the way and again sitting in the back of an SUV and talking while Zhou Mi’s manager pretended to have other things to do for the fifteen minutes Zhou Mi had to wait. It was private but not private enough for more than a hug and a few brushes of hands, but it also kept them from not seeing other almost at all for almost a week with Zhou Mi leaving the country for a string of recordings and then coming back to some variety shooting. And who knew what all he did at the company. Kyuhyun was interested, if Zhou Mi opted to tell him, but he didn’t really ask beyond asking what Zhou Mi had been up to that made him look so tired. He wasn’t sure what reasons Zhou Mi would have it be weird for Kyuhyun to poke for details, but it still didn’t feel right yet, so he wasn’t going to push it.

Zhou Mi was probably glad to get away from it, too. He could talk about it, knowing Kyuhyun would be glad to listen, but he could also talk about any other things that were interesting to him, too.

Because they were dating.

Dating. Capital letters. They were Dating.

“We’re dating,” he had told the very cute picture of Zhou Mi that was his phone background. It was not a fan picture or an album picture, but one he’d taken himself when Zhou Mi had poked his lips out and looked a little like a perturbed duck. He’d burst into a brilliant smile just after that, but Kyuhyun couldn’t have that as any kind of display picture or his heart would just explode into sparkles at the first sign of danger.

He’d been Very Alarmed when Zhou Mi had nearly caught sight of that picture, too. His lock screen was a very nice, very calming meadow, and he was content instead to tease Zhou Mi by text that Kyuhyun’s background was a picture of him and letting Zhou Mi stew about which picture it was exactly. Before, he’d have dissolved of embarrassment. But he could then, because…

Well. Because they were dating.

***

“Please tell me you’re free tonight,” was the first thing Zhou Mi pleaded after he’d all but sang a cheerful hello into the phone. And a “Kyuhyun!” that had Kyuhyun looking around as though maybe there was some other Kyuhyun that Zhou Mi was calling up.

“I can be? Why?” Kyuhyun asked.

“I just looked at the schedule my manager gave me, and one of the shows I recorded here in Korea is going to air tonight! We can get food and watch it together, if you want? I think it starts at eight…?”

“At your place?”

“Yes!”

Kyuhyun blinked. Normally watching Zhou Mi do things on TV was done in private so he could cover his face and throw pillows if he needed to. Also, to make sounds of outrage or horror when Zhou Mi was being particularly cute, or nice, or handsome, or embarrassing.

There were two possible outcomes. 1. The fact that they had gone on dates and wiggled around and hugged and kissed was going to dull his reactions and he would watch like a normal human, or 2. All of those facts and not being able to react because Zhou Mi was right beside him were going to make him like a shaken bottle of champagne with a faulty cork.

There was a third more normal option but his brain was betting heavily against him. And yet still, his response came after only the slightest hesitation.

“Yeah, I can come over.”

That sent Zhou Mi off on a string of conversation about food and what they should get, and Kyuhyun didn’t have time to be nervous until they’d hammered out their plans and Zhou Mi had hung up with what had sounded suspiciously like a blown kiss.

What if Zhou Mi was going to watch Kyuhyun watch Zhou Mi on TV. He was turning red just thinking about it, and he thought maybe if they just sat really close. Really close would make it easier. Though, possibly harder. Not…not in that way.

Kyuhyun pressed his fingers against his forehead. No, he’d be good. Having Zhou Mi nearby, it would allow him to detach in a way he couldn’t when he was watching alone. It had to, for his own sake.

Fifteen minutes later, his phone chimed and it was Zhou Mi.

“I was wrong!! It was at seven, can you come earlier??”

And then a bunch of horrified-face emojis right after it.

Kyuhyun laughed, texting Zhou Mi back to let him know that yes, he would be there in time to watch.

***

The beginning of the visit was incredibly normal. Kyuhyun arrived with the food a good twenty minutes before the show was to start and Zhou Mi exclaimed both at him and his bags, ushering him and taking the food from him. He was waved toward slippers like he was a contestant on a game show, and Zhou Mi hopped slightly as he almost lost a slipper of his own as he deposited the bags. Purple shirt. Soft jeans. It was a good look, as Zhou Mi turned right back and beelined for Kyuhyun

A hug, Kyuhyun was expecting. Oh, but no, a kiss, Zhou Mi’s lips pressing lavishly against his, and— Oh, another one. And another.

“Hi,” Zhou Mi said finally, all smiley and mostly bare faced and so close that Kyuhyun had to kiss him again.

“Hi,” Kyuhyun said, and half instigated, half got squished by a hug as they rocked together.

“It was too long since we got to see each other.”

“It’s been two days.”

“Way too long!” Zhou Mi grumbled, and Kyuhyun laughed into his shoulder. “Even longer since I got to kiss you. I missed it.”

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun wheezed.

Good behavior, he reminded himself, as Zhou Mi’s lips skimmed his jaw and they moved over so they could actually get ready to dig into the food. They served themselves, opening drinks, catching up a little on the day that had been spent texting. The TV was on mute so they could see when the show started, though that didn’t keep him from glancing up every so often just to make sure they were missing something. His stomach was piping down since he’d held off eating until he got there and a well-timed joke had Zhou Mi trying not to spit out his food. It was mostly a timing accident. But also mostly him giggling and then almost jumping as Zhou Mi reached out and smacked his knee.

“It’s starting!” Zhou Mi said, arranging himself more toward the TV than toward Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun did the same, putting down his empty plate and half-full drink. Even if he wanted something to do with his hands, he didn’t want to accidentally drown himself, or maybe spill something all over Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi finished eating during the first few minutes of previous and updates, settling back and being not-subtle about getting his arm over Kyuhyun’s shoulders. And he was just smirking when Kyuhyun glanced at him.

“Wow, who is that handsome guy,” Zhou Mi said, as they watched him walk out on screen.

“Such humility.”

“Shhh,” Zhou Mi teased, and Kyuhyun pinched his leg, ending in a war between their thighs before they quieted to actually listen to the conversation.

It wasn’t anything Kyuhyun hadn’t heard before, talk about Zhou Mi’s album, his promotions, the fanmeetings, his desires for a concert tour. A concert tour would be amazing, and Kyuhyun absolutely would’ve leaped out of his chair and went to as many as possible. But a tour also meant Zhou Mi being away. That kind of came with the territory and he’d already gotten a taste of it, and they’d just barely started dating. But he didn’t think it was going to be something he regretted.

But Zhou Mi started getting all squirmy beside him as one question faded into the next, and Kyuhyun didn’t really get why until he looked to the TV and listened to the next question.

“Tell us about the ideal person you’d like to date.”

“Person,” Kyuhyun said, interjecting that as the Zhou Mi on screen went thoughtful.

“I didn’t even have to ask for that,” Zhou MI said, but his voice was odd as Kyuhyun glanced at him. Zhou Mi’s head was tilted like he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to look at the TV.

Though whether Zhou Mi did or not, Kyuhyun turned back and he watched a smile spread on Zhou Mi’s on-screen face.

“My ideal person is someone who can be my friend, and make me laugh. Someone, we can think of each other’s happiness and protect that.”

Zhou Mi made a soft sound beside him, twisting like maybe he was trying to disappear from off the couch. The way Zhou Mi was reacting, the words he’d said, it was like Zhou Mi was talking about him. About…him. His ideal type. Zhou Mi’s head was tilted away, staring above the TV and definitely not at Kyuhyun.

“You just recorded this not long ago, didn’t you?”

Zhou Mi nodded, clearing his throat.

“You’re going to give me a big head,” Kyuhyun said, and Zhou MI huffed, actually looking at him that time. “That’s…”

It was sweet. It was more than sweet. It was kind of eating him up inside, and there on the screen Zhou Mi was laughing and the host was praising his answer and teasing him telling him the fans would fall for him when he gave answers like that.

Kyuhyun blinked.

Kyuhyun blinked again.

Fans, or at least one fan, had.

Zhou Mi made a sound beside him that sounded like pain, and Kyuhyun couldn’t stand it, letting out a belly laugh that couldn’t be contained as he flopped back and Zhou Mi stared at him like he was stomping on puppies.

“What!” Zhou Mi cried.

“You! Wait, you’re talking again.”

Not about ideal types or anything like that thought, so Zhou Mi perked up a little bit, actually acting like he was watching, making fun of the faces he was making.

“You’re so cute,” Kyuhyun whispered, enjoying Zhou Mi’s pain as Zhou Mi quite literally squirmed and was embarrassed enough for the both of them.

Kyuhyun managed to get both his arms around Zhou Mi’s torso before he could just melt away from Kyuhyun entirely.

“You talked about me,” Kyuhyun said.

“I didn’t realize it was going to be so embarrassing being right next to you while you saw it.”

“Why? It was nice. Though, it might have been hard hearing that if we weren’t dating,” Kyuhyun mused.

“What did you think before when you heard me talk about my ideal type?” Zhou MI asked.

“That I hoped you found someone who really appreciated you and made you happy.”

“Well, you do make me happy. Do you appreciate me?” Zhou Mi asked, fluttering his eyelashes.

They made faces at each other, until the music started and the show was showing Zhou Mi prepared to sing.

“We don’t have to watch this if you don’t want,” Zhou Mi said.

“What, no!”

All thoughts were banished of reaching for the remote when Zhou Mi was crooning a ballad into the camera.

“The sound’s not bad,” Zhou Mi muttered under his breath. Though he was obviously making some critiques, too, and Kyuhyun was just not having it.

It was his turn to be embarrassed. He put his head down, and there he was with his head nestled on Zhou Mi’s chest, trying not to sigh at listening to Zhou Mi sing on the TV.

“Was it okay?” Zhou Mi whispered, muting the TV after focus turned to a different guest.

“It’s a good thing I’m not watching it with a bunch of other people,” Kyuhyun said, lifting his head. “I’d have had to have stood up and pointed at the screen and said, ‘I’m dating him!’ Though they might have thought it was wishful thinking. It was great. Fans will will definitely fall for you.”

Zhou Mi’s eyes were both bright and soft. “Really?”

“Really,” Kyuhyun confirmed.

Zhou Mi grinned, wiggling closer, and that was really all it took to start them kissing, Zhou Mi’s hand cradling his neck and Kyuhyun’s arms tightening around him.

“There’s only one person I want to fall for me right now,” Zhou Mi half whispered, and it was said so sweetly and so cute at the same time that Kyuhyun almost didn’t know what to do.

“You’ve got that,” he said, but it was nearly slurred as he kissed Zhou Mi again, feeling Zhou Mi’s pleased hum. Zhou Mi’s fingers were stroking along his back and nothing else really existed to him as they squeezed a little closer. 

Zhou Mi’s thigh slid between his and that was nice, and new, solid and warm and right there. Close enough almost that with a little maneuvering, Kyuhyun would be rubbing against him. And with a little adjustment, rubbing against a whole lot more. His neck burned but he wasn’t moving, shivering at the gentle catch of Zhou Mi’s teeth against his lip.

“I love your mouth,” Zhou Mi murmured.

Kyuhyun’s sound was meant to be agreement, but he was afraid it came out a little more like a moan. He was glad the back of the couch was plush with the way they leaned against it, but it was also deceptive. It gave him just enough, just enough to imagine how it would be horizontal, struggling to be closer. His barely suppressed some kind of shiver at the impossible softness of Zhou Mi’s tongue, but it was left to be tantalizing as Zhou Mi withdrew a little, pressing even softer kisses and nearly breathing in time with him. Each kiss following his jaw down toward his neck had his breath coming shallower, sounds stirring in his throat as Zhou Mi nuzzled.

A phone rattling on a hard surface had both of them freezing, a chill of alarm going through him until Zhou Mi groaned and half turned away from him, reaching back awkwardly over the arm of the couch to get his phone. Zhou Mi kept one hand anchored on Kyuhyun, which was good, because otherwise Kyuhyun would have ended up flat on the floor trying to catch his runaway heart. He didn’t like the downturn that Zhou Mi’s mouth took, though.

“A text to remind me that I have an early schedule,” Zhou Mi sighed.

Ah. Alone, but not actually alone and free. “Does your manager know…?”

Zhou Mi blinked at him. “About us? Enough. I trust him, and he looks out for my best interests, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Did he try and warn you away?”

“No. But he wouldn’t have had a chance,” Zhou Mi teased.

It brought them to a different type of question, one Kyuhyun hadn’t been able to voice, but that had popped up even in the midst of him being almost unable the way they’d fallen in together.

“You said you’d sent someone away before, because he was a man. Do you… Is that going to be a problem?”

Zhou Mi put aside his phone and turned back fully to Kyuhyun so that they were in their own little world, close and focused. But Zhou Mi didn’t try to kiss him, though there was something almost worried in his eyes that Kyuhyun couldn’t quite pin down.

“I’ve been thinking about that, too, and I’m sorry you had to wonder,” Zhou Mi said, his thumb stroking Kyuhyun’s cheek. “I think it was because I didn’t need him enough. I never felt like this with him.”

Need. It was a word of so many meanings, but the last thing he wanted was Zhou Mi to feel regret. Zhou Mi was taking the bigger risk, and he was brave enough to reach for something he wanted. Kyuhyun was just happy to—

He was not going to tear up, he wasn’t. 

“If you worry, or if you— If something bothers you, anything, you can tell me,” Kyuhyun said. Not just worrying about the relationship, but anything. Their meetings didn’t have to be just fun and light, and kisses. He wanted to be there. He wanted, if he could, to maybe make Zhou Mi feel a little lighter, knowing he had someone he could count on.

“I will,” Zhou Mi told him. “I hope you will, too.”

Kyuhyun nodded, leaning into the kiss Zhou Mi brushed against his cheek and into the way that Zhou Mi held him closer, hugging in an awkward kind of way. His arm lifted, stroking over Zhou Mi’s hair and feeling him sigh into Kyuhyun’s neck.

“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi murmured. Kyuhyun’s body betrayed him, shivering, and it made him giggle in embarrassment and Zhou Mi in enjoyment.

It was the first time he’d touched Zhou Mi’s hair, really, he realized. It was soft under his fingers, thick. And if Zhou Mi had any weird feelings about being petted or having his scalp massaged, he didn’t show it as just slowly all but melted into Kyuhyun.

“If you have to get up in the morning, you should probably find your bed,” Kyuhyun said as softly as he could so that Zhou Mi didn’t startle.

Zhou Mi mumbled something like “Don’t want you to go,” but he was the one who sighed a few moments later and got himself straightened up so that he wasn’t all but pinning Kyuhyun to the couch. It definitely hadn’t been that Kyuhyun was complaining. Probably he needed some sleep of his own, and it was definitely regret that Zhou Mi slid his thigh away. It was a good deal colder like that.

“I owe you dinner,” Zhou Mi said, getting up, and Kyuhyun allowed himself a full second to admire Zhou Mi’s legs before he did the right thing and stood up, too.

“You don’t really, but I’d accept it anyway. Hey!”

Zhou Mi was backing him away from being able to clean up their mess, and he caught Kyuhyun right before he got to the door, kissing him, snuggling him again.

“I’m glad you could come over tonight.”

“Me, too,” Kyuhyun said.

He was going to have to ask what scent Zhou Mi wore as he nosed against Zhou Mi’s shoulder. Zhou Mi’s breathing sort of paused, like he wanted to tell or ask something, but he let Kyuhyun get into his shoes.

“You have your phone? Good. I’ll see you soon,” Zhou Mi told him.

“Yeah. I—“ Kyuhyun cleared his throat, swallowing. “Sleep.”

He almost had the urge to blow a kiss himself, which was certainly a sign of Zhou Mi’s influence. He held himself back, opting for a little wave with their goodbyes. He sent a text message full of sheep and z’s on the taxi ride back, and Zhou Mi texted back a picture of him snuggling with his pillow. There was some kind of Mickey behind him and Kyuhyun almost snorted.

Zhou Mi had talked about him on a program. Zhou Mi was charming, and fun, and easy to talk to. Weird. Sweet. Far too kissable. But beyond all of that, what maybe scared him the most of what he’d learned that night was that he liked being near Zhou Mi when it was still, and quiet. Without nerves, or lust, or wondering. He wasn’t just falling. It wasn’t just that any more. It was no crush. It was something far more overwhelming. And Zhou Mi trusted him. Maybe, in his implication, in some way needed him.

He didn’t really notice the half smile on his face as he leaned his head on the window and watched the city pass.

***

“So, I got a call today,” Zhou Mi led with, leaving Kyuhyun not knowing if that was a good or bad thing as the words trailed off and Kyuhyun’s head slowly sank waiting for the follow-up to that. “So, you know how I had told my friends about us.”

“Yes?” Kyuhyun said, slowly nodding against the phone and waiting for the point.

“They were really excited for me. And Jia and Fei are so excited that…they want to meet you!”

The sentence started slowly, built up momentum, and was presented on a pile of shining gold discs so much that Kyuhyun almost got excited by the prospect, too.

“Meet me?” Kyuhyun said, startled for no good reason. Obviously, Zhou Mi’s friends would want to meet him. If he’d been in their place he’d probably have wanted to inspect any person Zhou Mi talked to much less took occasion to kiss.

“Meet you, yes. Though, I’ll be there, too! I wouldn’t just throw you at them. Apparently I talked about you too much, and they want to see who I’m talking about. I’d really like you to meet them, too.”

Oh. Oh, that was terrible. Just an awful low blow, right to the gut just before Kyuhyun really fell down the rabbit hole of wondering if Zhou Mi would give him up if Zhou Mi’s friends hated him or thought he wasn’t good enough.

“That would be fine,” he said, and he actually heard Zhou Mi clap on the other end of the line before rambling about going off to make plans and texting him a date.

“Fuck,” he said brightly at the wall after Zhou Mi had smacked a kiss at him and hung up. It had to happen eventually, but he wasn’t sure than a year, or two years, or ten would’ve been enough time. Zhou Mi’s friends weren’t just his friends, they were damn near family, so Kyuhyun comforted himself with the fact that surely with all the varying schedules, a time wouldn’t come up soon. Zhou Mi just wanted to get his okay before planning such an eventuality was all.

Zhou Mi texted back within fifteen minutes. Everyone was free tomorrow. Was Kyuhyun?

Kyuhyun typed yes, closed his eyes, and hit send.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

***

On the bright side, he’d had less than 24 hours to really get his head around the idea. He’d seen pictures of Jia and Fei, had listened to some of their music, had seen videos of them and Zhou Mi on various outings. Basically, he knew them in the sense they were connected in some way to Zhou Mi.

He sank so low as to send Zhou Mi a picture of three different shirts so that Zhou Mi could choose which he should wear. Though obviously it was no effort on Zhou Mi’s part. He’d taken on that duty like it was his solemn oath to see Kyuhyun through life with appropriate clothing. But he wore the shirt Zhou Mi had settled on, anyway, so if they had anything to say about that, he was probably throwing Zhou Mi under the bus just a little.

Jia and Fei were already seated and Zhou Mi was lurking outside wearing a mask and casual clothes when Kyuhyun arrived with almost five minutes to spare.

“You look a little worried,” Zhou Mi said, amused as Kyuhyun squinted at him. “That shirt looks nice on you!”

“Thanks,” Kyuhyun said. Zhou Mi in a way was complimenting his own good taste, too. But so it went. His brain scrambled for a return compliment but he didn’t get there fast enough before Zhou Mi was opening the door for them.

“I didn’t want you to have to go in alone,” Zhou Mi said, taking off his mask as they wandered back. “Don’t worry.”

Easy for him to say. Though he’d pep talked himself. Zhou Mi saw something in him. They couldn’t just hang out alone forever even if that sounded pretty appealing. He had to have some faith in that, in himself. Whatever they might fear he was, he didn’t think he would or could be. They had the chance of hurting each other, but that was life.

Zhou Mi made a little sound of greeting, darting up the last couple of steps and waiting until Kyuhyun was right there, sliding in to sit against the wall and reaching over to touch hands with Fei and Jia, all the while guiding Kyuhyun in to sit like he was an air traffic controller.

“This is Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi told them, gripping and shaking Kyuhyun’s arm. “He is… You’ll get to know him. But this is Fei and Jia, and… You’ll get to know them, too.”

Zhou Mi just sort of deflated adorably, smiling between all of them like he was just so happy to have all of them there.

“We’ve been nagging him about wanting to meet you, so I’m glad you could make it,” Jia said, shooting Zhou Mi a look. His face went completely innocent. “He wasn’t willing to share.”

“He’s told me how happy it makes him to be able to meet up with you guys,” Kyuhyun said. Which was a reflection on them as well.

They got their food ordered, making small talk about Zhou Mi and his convoluted schedules that Zhou Mi seemed not to know enough about (Fei lamented for Zhou Mi’s managers), and their own upcoming comeback. Kyuhyun’s life felt a bit mundane up aside all of that, but maybe it was interesting to them to hear his regret of lagging e-mail servers and an offendingly loud cubicle neighbor.

And Kyuhyun knew it was coming. Knew after the waitress left them alone, knew at some point it was going to come up. And he still went blank a little as a shrewd look was sent his way.

“So, Zhou Mi has told us a little about how you met. There was a letter from you he remembered, and he called you out to meet him.”

Okay, that wasn’t quite the interrogation he’d been expecting, and Kyuhyun had to correct that.

“No, not exactly. He made the staff make me think they were going to bring a group photo I’d been in and he showed up instead. I nearly had a heart attack,” Kyuhyun mock complained, as Jia and Fei sputtered laughing at the deception.

“But you were happy,” Zhou Mi prodded.

“Before or after I remembered how to breathe?”

Zhou Mi beamed, kneading at Kyuhyun’s thigh. It just made him smile back, and he realized that yes, they were not alone. Jia was a bit bemused, but Fei had sat back, judging them.

“Wow, no wonder you guys haven’t wanted to meet up with anyone. You’re still in the completely gross stage.”

“Just imagine what they’re like when they’re alone,” Jia said, and Fei shuddered, laughing.

“No, thank you. But you kept meeting up and this happened.”

“It was a shock to me,” Kyuhyun said.

“I was so obvious,” Zhou Mi moaned. “Don’t shake your head. I was!”

Kyuhyun just kept shaking his head. “Only in retrospect.”

They probably would have had a standoff but Jia was rolling her eyes.

“It sure was obvious to us, even before. Zhou Mi told us when he let you in on a different secret. He was giddy as a drunken bee.”

“I’d been nervous!” Zhou Mi argued.

Nervous? About telling Kyuhyun he liked guys too?

“What for? That was going to be upset? How hypocritical would that have been!” Kyuhyun said.

Zhou Mi sulked at him, nudging against his shoulder. “I wanted you to think it was a good thing, and maybe then think that we could be a good thing.”

Jia wilted a little at that, and Kyuhyun half wanted to shake Zhou Mi and half wanted to crawl into his lap.

“Just good?”

“Kyuhyun!”

That was what was good. Just him being himself, with Zhou Mi who couldn’t help laughing and telling a tale on him. As long as he held onto that, he didn’t have anything to worry about.

***

“So, you were a fan. This must have been kind of hard to believe,” Fei said, falling into step with Kyuhyun after their dinner. They had enough time left they’d decided to wander, maybe to find some other place to get a snack to compliment the meal. “It’s good to see that he can’t just sweep you up and carry you along.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to remember I haven’t known him my whole life.”

“He has a way of making you feel like that,” Fei agreed.

It wasn’t really his job to soothe her mind, but there were things he didn’t mind saying, in a way something he was still sort of reconciling for himself. They were dating, and he was meeting Zhou Mi’s friends, and instead of it being some floating imaginary land, it was real, and grounding, even if Kyuhyun still had moments he found it all surreal. All his fears when they had met, when Zhou Mi was some shiny paragon had shifted.

“I don’t know if he showed you my letter?” Kyuhyun asked, and Fei shook her head. “I told him things about myself that only a few people knew. I didn’t know if he was the same, but I wanted him to know that at least one person out there wanted him to be happy no matter what. He makes you want to protect him. Though, then he shows you he’s strong enough to do that himself.”

“It always helps to have people to back you up, though. He’s such…social person, even though he can hole up and be alone happily, too. It’s nice to see him have someone he’s so happy with.”

Even though they’d staple Kyuhyun to the ground if he hurt Zhou Mi, he totally got the undercurrent there.

Zhou Mi craned his neck around, trying to be sure they were still following but also clearly checking up on them. Fei sensed that, too, waving cheerfully.

“Don’t worry, I’m telling him terrible things about you.”

Zhou Mi looked affronted, sending desperate eyes to Kyuhyun before Jia got the upper hand and turned him around before he could mow over someone.

“He’s a little peacock, but a really loving one. Ew. I’m going to make myself gag,” Fei complained.

Kyuhyun laughed. “And here I thought the worst was him answering the door in shorts that were barely there.”

Fei’s eyebrows raised and Kyuhyun thought maybe he’d put his foot in it until she laughed, shaking her head at Zhou Mi’s back.

“Oh? He just answers without pants if we’re early. I guess things are different when he’s trying to impress someone. Was that before or after you guys started being gross together?”

“Before…?” Kyuhyun offered, trying not to get derailed by the thought of Zhou Mi answering the door in his underwear.

“Going right for the jugular. He was reeling you in. Our Xiao Mi, trying his hand at seduction.”

Kyuhyun choked on an inhale, and Fei’s laugh had Zhou Mi turning immediately like he was going to have to fly back and protect Kyuhyun like a dragon or something. It just let them stop, standing so they weren’t blocking anyone, and Kyuhyun touched Zhou Mi’s arm, reassuring him.

“Well?” Jia wanted to know, like they’d planned it to separate Kyuhyun from Zhou Mi, which they maybe had.

“He’s totally sunk. And he blushes too easily for them to have gotten naked yet,” Fei said, grimacing as though the words pained her to say.

“Way too much information!” Jia groaned.

“I did not say anything about that,” Kyuhyun said. He was talking to Zhou Mi, but not so much meeting his eyes as Zhou Mi tsked into the air.

“Stop trying to embarrass him.”

“Oh yes, Mr. Shameless,” Jia said, all droll and sass.

“I don’t think we’ll advertise that, anyway,” Kyuhyun said, catching up to his sense of humor, anyway.

He got three different kinds of chortles, but the one he paid most attention to was the admiring one from Zhou Mi. He lifted an eyebrow and Zhou Mi lifted one back, just the barest hint of a smirk on his face. Good to know they were on the same page.

“Not here,” Fei said, grabbing Zhou Mi’s arm and pulling him along. They’d decided on something icy and sweet, eating along the building and Kyuhyun’s thigh pressed to Zhou Mi’s. He handed Zhou Mi a napkin, so he didn’t drip all over himself, laughing at Zhou Mi’s brain freeze, and letting himself relax into listening to their conversations. Most of it was in Korean, but there were some interjections in Mandarin that someone almost always translated for him.

They all said their goodbyes not long after, and Zhou Mi likely had an early morning but he still opted on keeping Kyuhyun with him instead of them splitting up then.

“Did you like them?” Zhou Mi asked, having herded Kyuhyun into the taxi.

They’d been funny, and warm, and using Korean mostly for his benefit. They’d been protective, and curious, and he had no doubt if they found a reason to worry that they’d say something.

“I did. Do you think they liked me?”

“How couldn’t they?” Zhou Mi said, loyal right on through. “I said you didn’t have to worry. Though I didn’t realize they were going to get you alone.”

“She didn’t actually tell me anything bad about you,” Kyuhyun assured him. Though. “Except about answering the door without pants.”

“Well,” Zhou Mi sniffed.

“Though she said it like I would’ve minded,” Kyuhyun said, his voice perfectly even, his face calm on purpose.

Zhou Mi made a sound that almost had him cracking, glancing over to find Zhou Mi silently huffing in laughter.

“I’ll remember that,” Zhou Mi promised. “You’re terrible.”

He was going to argue back, but they’d just pulled up to his apartment building, and that was the end of the evening. No option for kisses, just Zhou Mi pulling him into a one-armed hug on the sidewalk and whispering that he’d see Kyuhyun soon.

Soon wouldn’t be soon enough, waving goodbye to Zhou Mi, and then going inside to settle in for the night. He got comfortable clothes on, texting Zhou Mi to let him know he’d made it the 20 feet inside to the elevator and was safe and to thank him for the outing.

Zhou Mi was live-texting his ride home, and Kyuhyun grinned and opened his laptop so that he could well and truly relax.

***

“Are you free?? Can you come over tonight?? Come over!!! Come over!”

Zhou Mi’s text didn’t indicate if it was good, or bad, but all the punctuation seemed to indicate urgency at the very least, and Kyuhyun was texting back asking what was up and that he was on his way as he shut off his work computer and got his bag together.

“Secret!!!” Zhou Mi texted back, which calmed him considerably because that was too coy a response to be something horrible.

Kyuhyun caught up on his emails, trashing spam, while on his ride over. He texted Zhou Mi every couple of stations to keep him apprised of where he was, and Zhou Mi’s near-wheezes as he got closer got even more apparent. It had him laughing, and Zhou Mi’s urgency to see him had him fluffing up a little bit inside. There was no need to be concerned that he was bothering Zhou Mi when Zhou Mi was nearly reaching through the phone and dragging him faster.

And there was no need to announce his arrival, because Zhou Mi was standing with the door partly open when the elevator opened, and then Kyuhyun really laughed, silently so he didn’t alert the whole hallway. Zhou Mi just pouted at him, bringing him in like a doorman and wiggling back and forth as Kyuhyun got off his shoes.

“You’re finally here!” Zhou Mi said, wrapping his arms around Kyuhyun and nearly picking him up.

“Yeah! What’s up? It sounded important.”

“It is. Oh, look.”

Zhou Mi untangled himself and fished out his phone, turning on the screen and presenting it to Kyuhyun.

Confirmation for award nominations: Zhou Mi - best male solo artist, album of the year, song of the year. Ah, and he finally understood what had had Zhou Mi flailing and what had him right then staring at Kyuhyun and waiting for Kyuhyun to join him in his excitement.

“Wow, that’s amazing!”

“My manager just e-mailed me before I texted you,” Zhou Mi said, wheeling off and pacing, too excited to stay still. That was huge, really. From where Zhou Mi had started from, being in a country that wasn’t his own, building a base of fans who were fiercely loving— He had to pull himself back before he did something silly like throw his hands up in the air and shout. He suspected if he did that the atmosphere would change from ecstatic excitement to post-winning goal of a huge game celebration.

“You’ve gotten awards before,” Kyuhyun said, not trying to be a downer but instead enjoying the way that Zhou Mi looked about ready to shimmy into another universe or something. “Those this is bigger than those!”

“I guess the album came out at the right time? I don’t know if it’ll stack up against— I didn’t even ask who else was nominated,” Zhou Mi said, turning back to him on a belly laugh. “I guess it doesn’t matter!”

“It’s an accomplishment. And you might win! Will you get to dress up to attend the ceremony? Will they let you perform?”

He was blowing Zhou Mi’s mind with the possibilities that he clearly hadn’t gotten around to considering.

“Oh! The red carpet! Oh!”

“You don’t have to dress for it quite yet,” Kyuhyun teased.

“I don’t. Though, I’ll have to show you! And we—“

Kyuhyun’s eyebrows rose as Zhou Mi’s words cut off abruptly. Zhou Mi was staring at him like he hadn’t realized Kyuhyun was there before, only he was looking Kyuhyun up and down. Kyuhyun had to look himself up and down for that matter to make sure he hadn’t spilled something on himself or didn’t have paint smeared on his suit pants. The way Zhou Mi looked at him, walked up to him, made him a little fidgety.

“I’ve never seen you in your work clothes,” Zhou Mi said.

That wasn’t the bright and excited Zhou Mi. That was something else.

“Oh. This is pretty standard?” Kyuhyun said, resisting the urge to look down again. He fumbled with the only button still buttoned on his jacket, undoing it and then failing to get it buttoned again. But Zhou Mi didn’t let him try again, keeping his hands apart. Kyuhyun was pretty sure he wasn’t just admiring the boring print of his tie.

“I don’t think I said hello properly,” Zhou Mi said.

All of that excitement, that enthusiasm, that joy, Zhou Mi poured into the kiss. Kyuhyun certainly wasn’t going to turn away a proper greeting of any kind, and Zhou Mi’s hands were warm, sliding along his sides inside of his jacket. They kissed through half smiles, jostling closer. Zhou Mi kept gripping at him, pulling at his dress shirt until it came loose. There was the sound of disappointment to find more cloth beneath, but Kyuhyun was too busy breathing. His hand smoothed from the softness of Zhou Mi’s hair, down his neck. Zhou Mi’s fingers wrapped around his belt, a breath of a moan against his mouth, and heat pooled through Kyuhyun. Zhou Mi, making those sounds. There had been songs, when background vocals had been almost sexual, but Zhou Mi was right there, wrapped around him, kissing him.

“That’s one way to deal with excitement,” Kyuhyun said, having to clear his throat to keep from gasping as Zhou Mi began to kiss along his neck. “Best male solo artist.”

“I’ll jump out of my skin!” Zhou Mi laughed, almost shaking him.

“Do you still have that wine I brought?”

“Oh! I do!”

His neck felt completely abandoned as Zhou Mi kissed him smartly and then went to find the wine. But that was good. It gave him a chance to get himself together so that he wasn’t just climbing Zhou Mi like a tree. Zhou Mi regaled him with all kinds of acceptance speeches, some a bit irreverent, as they wrestled with the cork. Zhou Mi didn’t have wine glasses, but it tasted just fine from the glasses he did have.

“I’ll have to feed you since I dragged you all the way out here,” Zhou Mi said. Kyuhyun tossed his suit jacket over his bag, laughing a bit as he undid his loosened tie the rest of the way and undid the button at his neck.

“Lunch was a while ago. I wouldn’t mind eating.”

He didn’t realize Zhou Mi was watching him until he put his tie down, too. He made a little ta-da motion and Zhou Mi grinned, motioning him over. He didn’t mind kissing, either, keeping a good grip on his glass as Zhou Mi hummed against him.

“I like watching you strip,” Zhou Mi said, their lips still brushing.

It took his thoughts from interested to filthy in a heartbeat.

“Well,” he said, clearing his throat.

He had to put down his glass beside Zhou Mi’s as Zhou Mi graced him with a little smile, his eyes amused as they met Kyuhyun’s and then focused down below. He was just trying to breathe, really, as Zhou Mi slipped each button free, working down his chest and getting quicker. He pulled the shirt up and out fully, undoing the last buttons. Zhou M kissed him again and for a moment Kyuhyun thought that was it, he was just going to be there in an unbuttoned shirt. But Zhou Mi caught his arm, popping the button at one wrist and then the other. He was the one who kissed Zhou Mi then, feeling the air on his arms as Zhou Mi pushed the shirt down and off. He shook it off and kept it from catching at his hands and Zhou Mi rubbed against his back and kissed him back like he was trying to absorb him.

“No fair,” Kyuhyun teased, a little breathless as he tugged at Zhou Mi’s collar. There were no buttons to undo, no layers to take off or tease with.

He thought Zhou Mi was joking. He thought it was a joke, when Zhou Mi started to pull on his shirt. He thought— His brain faulted as more and more cloth lifted and left behind Zhou Mi’s hair a little fluffed. And Zhou Mi’s shoulders, sloped and impossibly broad. And Zhou Mi’s torso. So much skin. His ribs, his waist, how his underwear peeked up over one edge of his pants and clung to his side. So much skin, and Kyuhyun’s mouth was the Sahara. He was kind of afraid to touch, like Zhou Mi was some fragile work of art that would just shatter and disappear.

Zhou Mi’s face, though. He was a little shy, a little proud. Of course, with Kyuhyun blubbering who wouldn’t have been. But he didn’t reach to touch, except to put his hands on the warmth of Zhou Mi’s sides.

“Okay, it’s definitely fair again,” Kyuhyun said. His voice was far too hoarse, but Zhou Mi saved him from himself, kissing him. It was an illusion. Zhou Mi had been warm before his shirt came off, but he seemed to be radiating heat right then. Maybe it was because Kyuhyun had flushed so hot, generating heat between them that couldn’t be sustained. He worried Zhou Mi’s lower lip, and the little groan he got almost had him stumbling, clutching at Zhou Mi’s back, the skin of his arms against so much of Zhou Mi’s. He forgot the wine and dinner and anything else as Zhou Mi kissed him, pulled him. Zhou Mi sank onto the couch, still holding Kyuhyun’s hand.

“Come here.”

Kyuhyun was glad he wasn’t still holding his glass in his hand when his knee sank rather inelegantly into the cushion. Zhou Mi’s lips clung to his when he leaned in, kissing, Zhou Mi steadying him with hands on his waist. But it was awkward, bordering on pain, half standing, half almost in Zhou Mi’s lap.

“There’s room enough,” Zhou Mi half whispered, Zhou Mi’s lips brushing against his face. If he hadn’t been flushed already, he would have then. There was room enough, with a little moving, for Kyuhyun’s knees to sink in on other side of Zhou Mi’s hips. Zhou Mi’s arms wrapped around his waist, and it was different like that. They’d kissed standing up, kissed pressed together beside each other. It was a different angle and a different way of moving, something that kept him off balance and to secure at the same time. There was no rush - all he had to do was enjoy Zhou Mi’s lips, the warmth and the plushness of them. He enjoyed immensely the way that Zhou Mi kissed, sometimes demanded, sometimes making him shiver.

He was getting too hot, and he cleared his throat, looking and when he picked up a glass of wine, for the life of him couldn’t remember which spot he’d put down his own at.

“Do you remember which one is yours?” Kyuhyun asked.

“Does it matter?” Zhou Mi asked, staring at Kyuhyun’s mouth and Kyuhyun watched him lick his kiss-reddened lips.

He guessed not, offering it to Zhou Mi first and watching him take another drink. It left little more than a swallow, but he downed the remnants of the glass and put it aside to focus on more important things like his fingers becoming intimately acquainted with Zhou Mi’s collarbones.

“I didn’t expect this when I invited you over,” Zhou Mi confessed, and that was certainly not a shocker to him. “I just wanted to be happy with you.”

It made him want to squirm and he was already all over Zhou Mi as it was. But he wasn’t far enough gone to forget how to tease.

“We can stop…?”

Zhou Mi tsked at him, squeezing at Kyuhyun’s back as they kissed.

“Not unless you want to.”

“Don’t want to stop,” Kyuhyun muttered between kisses. No, not when he could wind around Zhou Mi like that, to feel so much of him. He liked feeling Zhou Mi give a little, Zhou Mi’s soft sounds. But he also was keenly aware if Zhou Mi shifted, trying to note whether it was to pull Kyuhyun closer or push him away. _ZHOU MI WANTS_ was the headline blazing across his brain, and it could have been wanting him or wanting contact, he just knew that Zhou Mi wanted and that was incredible.

They were celebrating in a bit of a different way than Zhou Mi had thought, though he hoped making out had crossed Zhou Mi’s mind just a little. But what they were doing had crossed so many lines that they hadn’t before. He had his hands all over a gorgeous, naked torso and broad shoulders, and a man kissing him like it would save both their lives. The only way he wasn’t getting hard was if he was dead, and he was very much not dead.

But if he hadn’t been turned on already, he would’ve been as Zhou Mi’s hips lifted against his, knowing. Zhou Mi was hard rubbing against him, humming against Kyuhyun’s lips. It satisfied a fantasy of Zhou Mi, a portion of it anyway. From the time Zhou Mi had taken his hand at the first meeting, to the first time Zhou Mi had kissed him, almost all of his pleasure had come thinking of Zhou Mi. From the kiss onwards, all of it had. He’d thought of it, rubbing against Zhou Mi, feeling him want, imagining what sounds Zhou Mi made when his need was too great. They slid together, slow, purposely, and Zhou Mi hummed, clutching at him.

Kyuhyun felt a bit out breath, but he could still speak. “I can feel already that there’s not a single part of you that’s disappointing.”

Zhou Mi’s head fell back and he laughed, fading into pleased chuckles as he kneaded against Kyuhyun’s back. They considered each other as Zhou Mi tugged at Kyuhyun’s shirt. One of his hands went under it, traveling up along sparking skin. And the other went down, past his belt, and getting a good, healthy handful of Kyuhyun’s butt. He didn’t pull Kyuhyun against him, but that didn’t keep him from throbbing in his pants, his eyelids dipping as he fought back the worst of the ragged moan.

Zhou Mi’s squeezing hands kept him rocking, and the movement, the angles, it made it harder to kiss but they did their best.

“Kyuhyun!” Zhou Mi burst out, and Kyuhyun’s head dipped, trying too hard to breathe, gasping, tingling as Zhou Mi began to kiss against his neck. “Oh. Yes.”

Zhou Mi was making little sounds that shot right through him, his teeth just barely catching at Kyuhyun’s skin. And Kyuhyun was trying to hard to breathe, to move. His thighs were straining, pleasure building way too fast. One moment it was all he wanted, and the next thinking, too fast, too fast.

“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi moaned.

And that was it. His hips were frantic, his body wracked with his orgasm as Zhou Mi rocked him. Zhou Mi squeezed him, pulled him closer, breath gusting out in tiny pants until he almost seemed to stop breathing and Zhou Mi’s head fell back, moving against Kyuhyun. Coming against him. An exhale came with the start of a moan, both of them still except for labored breathing. He felt like he was sweating through his undershirt, and— He’d just come in his underwear. And he was almost certainly cutting off the blood supply to Zhou Mi’s legs.

The protocol for “Hey, I just got off on you,” was escaping him, but practicality won the day hands down.

“I still have to go home in these pants,” Kyuhyun lamented as he pushed back a little. Zhou Mi wheezed, kissing his cheek. And his voice was quiet as he tilted his head and considered Kyuhyun.

“I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t have to go.”

“I definitely can’t go to work like this,” Kyuhyun laughed. Wrinkled clothes being only the start of that.

“Maybe another time, then,” Zhou Mi said, his eyes saying so much more.

Sleeping over. Maybe not doing more than they’d just done but maybe.

And he was going to spend very good amounts of time thinking about just that, as soon as he wasn’t in danger of a bigger mess than he’d already caused, either soaking through his pants or Zhou Mi through his. Zhou Mi kept a hand on his arm like he was trying to keep him from falling backwards, at least until he got stood up.

“I’ll be right back,” he gusted, and beelined for the bathroom to get clean. He’d just have to do without underwear on the ride back home, but that he wasn’t so worried about.

“Hey, do you have—“ he half shouted through the door.

“Just left you a bag on the outside door handle,” Zhou Mi replied, having apparently read his mind. And there it was, a plastic bag just for him.

He got everything all tied up, washing his hands, and transferring the bag to be near his belongings. He made his way back to the couch. Zhou Mi had changed pants altogether, lamentably with a tank top on that still showed that his skin was still a little sweaty. But he also wore a smile, and offered a half-full glass of wine.

“I went and got the bottle,” Zhou Mi said, and Kyuhyun sank down beside him, groaning a little, relaxing. The wine was good, but watching Zhou Mi take a drink from his own glass and sigh was better. 

He shifted his glass, reaching out a hand to stroke along Zhou Mi’s arm. Zhou Mi sighed again, leaning into him.

“Oh, dinner!” Zhou Mi realized.

“Now I’m really hungry,” Kyuhyun joked, and Zhou Mi shot him the brightest smile, getting up and going for the menus so they could decide what they wanted. It didn’t really matter. Zhou Mi could’ve handed him a box of musty jerky, as long as he got to stay there. They cuddled together on the couch as they waited for the food, sipping the wine and really finally relaxing. He didn’t feel as awkward as he thought he would, though he was still riding high on feelings. Still, when he pressed a kiss against Zhou Mi’s shoulder Zhou Mi hummed against him, nuzzling at him.

“If it’s a time you can go, if I was able to get you a seat, would you want to go to the awards ceremony?”

Kyuhyun lifted his head, looking at Zhou Mi like he’d said something ridiculous.

“How can you even ask that! Of course!” Maybe it was a sign that things had changed, that he didn’t even have to stop or wonder or second-guess himself that he was somehow taking advantage.

Zhou Mi laughed, rocking a little. “Even if we can’t sit together, I’d like knowing you were there somewhere if we can make it work out.”

That sobered Zhou Mi a little, and Kyuhyun didn’t like it, rubbing over his shoulder instead.

“Do you think there’ll ever be a time when I can get you in a tuxedo and show you off someplace like that?” Zhou Mi asked.

“I want to think that things could be like that someday,” Kyuhyun said. “If you get to perform, they’ll have to carry me out, you know that right? And maybe I could be there to help you get ready.”

To get dressed. Or undressed. Or to hold his hand before there were people around to keep him from being nervous.

“And I could take you home with me, like an award,” Zhou Mi said, all magnanimous. His following giggle told the story of a little bit of wine imbibed on an empty stomach.

Kyuhyun stayed on the couch and mostly out of sight while Zhou Mi got the food at the door, and they both ate with enthusiasm. The TV provided a little backdrop of sound, ankles crossed over each other’s as they enjoyed the food, of sharing it together. Zhou Mi helped him back into his shirt when he reached the point where it was go home or else, and seemed to like that almost as much as he had taking it off of Kyuhyun. He pretty much did, too, since it was easy to steal a few more kisses.

At home, Kyuhyun slept deeply. He was alone, but at least right then, he didn’t feel it.

 

***

Ryeowook knew a little. Kyuhyun hadn’t just come out and said, “Hey, I’m dating the guy I was head over heels for as a fan,” though he’d kept Ryeowook up to date on the basis that if he hadn’t he’d have lived a sad life inside of his own head. Even then, he was paranoid, never referring to Zhou Mi by his name if he was talking about him in texts. He always referred to Zhou Mi as “G” for his Gentleman Mimi phase, though Ryeowook got snarky sometimes and asked how his outing with the gentleman was. The revelation wasn’t going to be that much of a shock, anyway. And the only other person he could get out his thoughts with was Zhou Mi himself, and that wasn’t happening.

It had seemed like he was fine with everything. The dates, the affection, the snuggles, the kissing. He’d been okay meeting Zhou Mi’s friends, and teasing Zhou Mi, and he’d have said his heart had stopped skipping every time Zhou Mi smiled but it would’ve been a lie. Maybe it was because Zhou Mi didn’t know all of what Kyuhyun felt. When they’d just been floating along getting to know each other, taking out his feelings and examining them hadn’t been so important. They’d leaped from friendly to dating before Kyuhyun felt he ever got a handle on his “emotions.” That hadn’t changed, but the thing was, Zhou Mi didn’t know. And they’d gone a lot further than just kissing. But telling Zhou Mi, ah.

He wasn’t getting any further turning it over in his own head.

“If you got the chance to start dating some celebrity you liked, would you wonder about your feelings if you’d liked her as a fan first?” Kyuhyun wondered.

Ryeowook thought about that for a moment. “Would I just be dating her as a fan? I hope I’d know her better than that if she accepted when I asked her out.”

“Well, yeah. Sure, you got to know her better first.”

“Am I trying to use her?” Ryeowook asked. “Do I gain something by dating her?”

“No! You just…you just really care about her, and want to make her happy.”

“Then why am I worrying?” Ryeowook asked.

“Does it make it less real? Since the feelings started as a fan first?”

“So, on that logic, is a relationship less real if it starts with friendship feelings before changing to romantic ones? All feelings change. Besides, what is being a fan to you, anyway? Admiring someone, caring about their wellbeing, wanting to be around them. If those feelings changed and grew, that wouldn’t mean they weren’t legitimate. Zhou Mi would be happy that they changed, right?”

“I’m sure, but—“ Kyuhyun stopped, glared. Ryeowook just sipped his drink for a moment.

“If he’d asked you out, back when all he knew about you was that you were a fan, and you had a face and a penis, what would you have thought?”

“That he was desperate. Or wanted to get laid. But what if he thinks—“

Ryeowook held up a finger and Kyuhyun simmered just under boiling. 

“Do you think of him as a celebrity or the guy you’re dating? Actually, that’s kind of a trick question, because he’s always going to be both, and it may take a while to stop being quite so amazed that hey, you’re with him, he chose you, you have feelings for each other. But that’s kind of the way everyone is at times? If you have a crush on the unattainable upperclassman in school and then end up dating, wow! Or the person in the other department, or your best friend, or whatever. But the part where you’re dating is the most important part. Like, if he decided he wanted to go raise goats, would you still love him? Obviously, because you don’t love his celebrity, you love him.”

“Why am I a part of this conversation if you’re just going to keep answering your own questions,” Kyuhyun complained.

“If I answer my own questions, at least I know the answers are right,” Ryeowook said, and looked way too smug.

“But is he going to wonder Is he going to think I care just…just because.”

“The part where you got to know him? He also got to know you,” Ryeowook pointed out. “We’re all looking for something real, and I bet for a celebrity it’s even harder. Didn’t he make the first move?”

Kyuhyun hesitated, but the answer never changed. “Yeah, he did. But if it was some kind of test, then I failed.”

“If it was some kind of test, then flying away wouldn’t be too fast to get away.”

It wasn’t like he missed the part where Ryeowook was judging him.

“He wouldn’t have tested me. Not like that. The only reason he’d have made a move was because he wanted it. Ugh.”

Kyuhyun pressed his palms against his forehead, because that was clearly obvious, and something he knew. But saying it out loud and to Ryeowook made him feel so ridiculous, doubting himself for doubting himself, and Ryeowook patted his shoulder.

“Are you happy?” Ryeowook asked.

“I don’t think… I don’t think happy really covers it all?”

“Then be happy and everything else,” Ryeowook advised. “You’re a real boy. But so is he. And it’s not like this happened yesterday. It’s going well?”

“Yeah, it’s going really well, I think. He’s just— Zhou Mi. Though sometimes it doesn’t feel real, and then it feels too real.”

Kyuhyun sighed, and put his cheek down on the table, pouting in the direction of Ryeowook’s tacky shirt.

“Your dates must be fascinating if you just sit there like that all the time.”

Ryeowook laughed at him, and deftly avoided Kyuhyun’s attempted smack.

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone,” Kyuhyun said. “I should probably tell him that.”

“Showing’s important, too. But I bet he’d be happy,” Ryeowook told him.

“Thanks. I guess I’ll buy your dinner,” Kyuhyun said.

Ryeowook snorted at him, because Kyuhyun had already promised him that before they’d met up.

***

The first thing that Kyuhyun had to do was make a time. He couldn’t just blurt it out when they were in public, and considering what they’d gotten up to the last time in Zhou Mi’s apartment, he wondered if Zhou Mi was going to think that Kyuhyun wanted to come back for more making out. On his to-do agenda that definitely ranked high, but he needed the whole feelings thing off of his chest. He was going to give them to Zhou Mi, and Zhou Mi could do what he wanted. Maybe he’d look at Kyuhyun with his little heart eyes. If he was going to get naked with Zhou Mi, he wanted it with Zhou Mi knowing that he wasn’t there just because Zhou Mi was hot and Kyuhyun had some boner for his celebrity. He tried to rehearse saying just that without sounding like he’d complely lost control of his ability to speak.

Sometimes it ended in a mess. As long as he got across what he felt.

And just because the world hated him, it was almost a week and a half before they had a chance to meet up. The coffee-in-the-car for a while five minutes didn’t count, either. Though Zhou Mi had been contrite.

“I feel like I’m making you my delivery boy,” he’d grumbled, hugging Kyuhyun before he was whisked on his way to some other schedule.

“I don’t have anything better to do,” Kyuhyun told him.

Which, he didn’t. It had been a weekend day, and flying out of his apartment in grubby pants so he could pick up a drink and take it to Zhou Mi was good for his heart rate. Or he was telling himself that.

It just made their hug twice as long when Kyuhyun stepped into his apartment.

“I have food,” he said, all weird because his cheeks were squished.

“Who needs food!” Zhou Mi teased, kissing him. Twice, for good measure as he unloaded the food from one of Kyuhyun’s hands.

“Since it fits into your diet, I got extra,” Kyuhyun said, blowing out a breath and lifting the other bag onto the counter. “Maybe enough for you to eat tomorrow if you need something.”

“Looking out for me,” Zhou Mi mumbled, squeezing him into another hug.

“I don’t want you disappearing,” Kyuhyun told him. He patted at Zhou Mi’s back, and they settled into the very important task of feeding themselves. They didn’t bother with the table, sitting on the couch. Kyuhyun sat sideways, not that he figured Zhou Mi needed the pleasure of watching him stuff his face, but he liked the way Zhou Mi leaned in, the way they talked easier that way. Zhou Mi’s grins. Pointing out that he had food in his teeth. Zhou Mi had horrible faces as he dealt with that, and Kyuhyun spent far too long laughing into his plate.

“A burp would round that off,” Kyuhyun told him.

And Zhou Mi seemed to take that as a personal mission. Though luckily Kyuhyun had already swallowed. Still, he waved his hand, chuckling as Zhou Mi let out the tiniest little belch.

“Bravo,” Kyuhyun said, applauding by patting his hand on his thigh. “Bravo!”

Zhou Mi rudely dug his knuckles into Kyuhyun’s knee, and Kyuhyun growled at him, getting back at him in the nicest way by shoving a piece of chicken into Zhou Mi’s mouth.

He wondered if he sat that way, too, because it gave him a little distance. Like he was surveying the battlefield, waiting for the best time. It didn’t matter, after they finished eating, putting aside their plates. He had nothing left to keep him from getting closer, and he leaned in to Zhou Mi’s side, tracing along his fingers as Zhou Mi lamented almost getting stabbed in the eye with an eyeliner pencil because someone had made a joke and he’d tried to hold back a laugh. It had just erupted at the worst time, was all.

“I don’t have any eyeliner pencils tonight,” Kyuhyun chuckled and Zhou Mi rocked against him in retaliation.

“I’m safe then,” Zhou Mi declared, with the demeanor of a king.

And as Kyuhyun laughed, his mind was racing. Was then the time? Or later? He didn’t want to make it grandiose, but he didn’t know how to not make it grandiose, either. He didn’t want to say it while they were making out, because he didn’t want Zhou Mi to think it was lust speaking. He didn’t want to make Zhou Mi choke on their food if they were eating, or say it right before he left so that he was just dropping it and running. He definitely wasn’t going to say it by text.

“I’ll go put the rest of the food away. Did you want anything else?” Zhou Mi asked as he wiggled forward.

Oh, then. Right then. Kyuhyun caught Zhou Mi’s hand before he could stand, his mouth working for a moment as he met Zhou Mi’s eyes.

“I love you,” he said. There was no embellishment to it, just words that came out just the tiniest bit rushed, something expedient to get from him to Zhou Mi’s heart. It was no arrow flying through the air, but Zhou Mi’s eyes widened like it was. 

He reached out, touching Kyuhyun’s face as he got close and when his lips parted, instead of words Zhou Mi started to laugh.

Dear Diary, today I told a guy I loved him, and he laughed at me.

But he did it so cutely. Maybe it was hard to believe, and Kyuhyun would have worried, if Zhou Mi wasn’t smiling so brightly. By the time Zhou Mi gasped and spoke, a whole eternity of seconds, Kyuhyun was so deeply, irreversibly enthralled that he’d almost forgotten what he’d said.

Zhou Mi worked up to it, their faces close and the back of Kyuhyun’s neck prickling as Zhou Mi first spoke in Mandarin, then Cantonese, English.

“I love you,” again, again, until Kyuhyun found it hard to breathe, shaking a little in his lower back and wanting to shout to let some of the feelings trapped out. Zhou Mi, instead of questioning him had instead dropped the same feelings right back on him. If someone had asked “Do you think Zhou Mi loves you?” he probably would’ve answered in sentences about butterflies and sunbeams. But that wasn’t the type of love that Zhou Mi was confessing, when he looked into Kyuhyun’s eyes as though he was someone precious.

“I love you, too, Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi ended on, his voice so light, happy, like he’d said something he’d wanted to for a long time. “Oh, that feels good to say. I didn’t want to go too fast, and chase you off. But! When…?”

“A long time,” Kyuhyun admitted. Longer maybe that Zhou Mi even realized. “I loved you back then, before we met. The idea of you, anyway. A lot of the things I thought I knew, you confirmed, or changed. And it’s more now.”

“You loved me before you knew me. Kind of sounds like a fairy tale almost.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Kyuhyun murmured. Though he had a confession, to toss away a worry as well. “I wondered maybe, if you’d wish I hadn’t been a fan first, or if you’d doubt my feelings or something.”

“How could I have wished away the reason we met?” Zhou Mi asked, stroking his thumb along Kyuhyun’s neck.

Kyuhyun squinted. Why was everyone so much better at figuring that stuff out. “Okay, you have a point. Feelings are feelings.”

“I knew who you were when we started, and all I knew was that this guy admired me, and thinks I’m talented, and is caring enough to tell me to be happy. And he was someone I could relate to, and trust.” Zhou Mi waggled his eyebrows a little. “Someone I could fall for.”

“It’s kind of weird,” Kyuhyun said, and tried to let out a slow breath. “If I’d have told you back when I really realized it it still would’ve been different to now.”

“Yeah? Me, too.”

They just sort of smiled at each other. He didn’t know about Zhou Mi but he had a dozen excuses, explanations, and consolations running around his head and none of them were right for right then. He’d gotten it out. Zhou Mi knew.

“We should go put away the food,” Kyuhyun said. The words almost laughed their way out of him, standing up and letting Zhou Mi catch onto his arm as he stood as well. He did laugh, helplessly so as Zhou Mi linked their arms together and played escort the whole way. That was normal, and good, putting away food, teasing, debating what they wanted to drink, tea, or water.

He thought maybe they needed to spend another month rehashing their feelings or also maybe never to speak of them again. But it didn't change things, not much. They didn't love each other less for having said it, and they weren't going to treat each other worse. But having spoken aloud, it changed only their perception of each other's actions, not the cause of them. 

Zhou Mi smiled that silly smile because he loved Kyuhyun, and he wanted Kyuhyun to come over because of that and a dozen other things. It made it easier to sigh, to let it go and enjoy the precious limited time they had.

Maybe it made him a little giddy though. Zhou Mi was a little more effervescent, for that matter. And they hadn't even had wine.

“What time do you have to be up in the morning?” Kyuhyun asked. The little nose wrinkle told him everything. “I can stay a bit longer?”

It was both an offer and a question.

“Let’s go relax, then,” Zhou Mi said. And his offer was accepted without any lack of enthusiasm.

They made it back to the couch, not like it was far. His glass was way less interesting, and so he abandoned it to the table - vivid flashes of picking up a glass of wine from right there while in Zhou Mi’s lap coming out to play - and focused on getting close. He’d been a rather snuggling person as a child, but he’d gained a few natural warinesses as an adult. That didn’t stop him in the least from getting his arm over Zhou Mi’s shoulders, and it was an entirely new angle altogether.

“I think I like this,” Kyuhyun said, arching his chin.

Zhou Mi judged him from his slightly lower position, but that just made it easier for Kyuhyun to lean in and steal a kiss. They wiggled and got comfortable and Zhou Mi’s head rubbed against his like a cat as they sighed. The way that Zhou Mi ran his hand over Kyuhyun’s fingers, it was almost like he liked them. He had no complaints.

Though he couldn’t, in fact, stay forever. Maybe it was the leaning together, but Zhou Mi seemed to read his mind.

“When my schedule allows it, you should come over and stay the night,” Zhou Mi told him.

“Oh?” Kyuhyun asked. He fought the urge to chuckle in awkward delight and against the thoughts that blossomed up unbidden. “We’re going to have a slumber party?”

“Whatever you want. If you want to sleep, we can do that, too.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t help gasping out a laugh then. “Promises. Sometime you don’t have to get up early, so you don’t have to kick me out.”

“Would I ever kick you out of bed?”

Kyuhyun hadn’t even mentioned a bed, and he was trying to get his brain back on track when Zhou Mi looked both serene and utterly filthy with the way he was trying to waggle his eyebrows suggestively. It was nice just relaxing together like they were, and it had been nice the last time getting more intimately acquainted. Want was not an issue, and it was just nice to— It was nice, he concluded, a far more pale a word than he would have used in a normal situation when he had full control of his brain.

“I hope not?” Kyuhyun ventured. He wondered if Zhou Mi had a nicer bed than he did. He wondered if Zhou Mi’s bed was bigger. Bigger was good. He almost guffawed, and smacked himself in the face mentally.

“Though, I want to see your place sometime, too.”

Kyuhyun was struck unable to speak, gurgling.

“What!” Zhou Mi squawked. “Is your apartment messy? Do you have pictures of me on the wall or something? I promise, I’d like that.”

“You’re horrible!”

Zhou Mi just shot him a grin. Of course, he didn’t want Zhou Mi to think that he didn’t want him there, either.

“Any time,” Kyuhyun affirmed. “It’s not as nice, and it’s busier so you’d have to wear sunglasses to get in the door, but… I only have a couple of pictures on the wall. And a poster. I have a calendar, too.”

And albums on his shelf, and one of his remotes possibly had a chibi Zhou Mi fanart sticker attached to it. He had Zhou Mi’s book, too, and he had Zhou Mi’s signature displayed, and—

Zhou Mi hummed, closing his eyes for a moment as though enjoying Kyuhyun’s embarrassment. “I like the thought of you keeping time by my face.”

He waited a bit for effect. “It’s not a _clock._ ”

“I know that!” Zhou Mi tsked. And he gave Kyuhyun The Eyes. The puppy dog eyes. “Do you stare at them and sigh?”

Oh, two could play that game.

“Something like that,” Kyuhyun said.

They gasped at each other in unison, leaning back and forth as they laughed.

“No, they’re too cute for that. Stop being dirty,” Kyuhyun grumbled, pressing his face down against Zhou Mi’s neck.

“You stop then!”

“No, you stop,” Kyuhyun said. Zhou Mi just snorted at him and Kyuhyun leaned into him a little harder, trying to get a little bit more of that scent to carry around with him until the next time they got to see each other.

“Where do I get a poster of you anyway?” Zhou Mi asked.

Kyuhyun opened one eye and examined the walls around them. “I think that would be weird, coming over and having my face on the wall.”

“Then I want pictures!”

He’d bee supposed to suggest that he go, but fifteen minutes making various faces beside Zhou Mi as they took pictures together didn’t change much one way or the other. It got them untangled, anyway, and he patted Zhou Mi’s thigh as he stood up.

“All right. I need to go, and you need to sleep.”

“Probably,” Zhou Mi agreed begrudgingly.

He made sure he had all of his things, his shoes ready to step into, and he turned back for hug.

Only to be swept into a kiss. He groaned a little, kissing back and bracing his hands on Zhou Mi’s shoulders. He didn’t know how Zhou Mi did that. One second he was fine, the next he was all caught up with Zhou Mi’s arm bracing him and Zhou Mi and his eager lips destroying him. He wasn’t sure if he’d been arriving or leaving.

He gasped as Zhou Mi’s thumb swept up under his shirt, brushing over his side. It broke the spell, but didn’t stop one last kiss from happening.

Kyuhyun tilted his head, laughing a little shakily. “Okay, no, I really do need to get home.”

Zhou Mi was the smallest bit sheepish, squeezing him tightly and keeping an arm on him so he didn’t fall over getting into his shoes.

“See you soon. I hope,” Kyuhyun said.

“I hope, too.”

Going back in for another hug wasn’t an option, so going out the door was all he had. He waved, and the door closed, and that was that. On his way home, Zhou Mi sent him a heart by text, something he’d done many times before. But accompanying it were the words, “You know what this means now.”

Kyuhyun sent back a heart of his own.

***

Kyuhyun was groaning his enjoyment of his back muscles relaxing as he climbed into bed when his phone rang. It was late, later than most people called, so his first thought was something wrong with his family. But when he brought it close to his face, he read the screen and grinned.

“Hey,” he said, as the line opened up.

“Hi! I hope I didn’t wake you up?”

Kyuhyun hummed, pulling up his blanket a little. “No. I’d just gotten into bed, so I wasn’t asleep. What’s up?”

“I won’t keep you very long. I just wanted to talk to you for a little bit to wind me down. Nothing’s wrong, it was just a very long day. How are you?”

Kyuhyun could hear that Zhou Mi was tired, but it was easy enough to tell a funny little story about his day, and how he’d nearly dumped his dinner into the sink. He liked hearing the little laughs from Zhou Mi, how rapt he was even when he was tired.

“I ended up changing clothes a hundred times today, I think,” Zhou Mi sad. He sighed, too, but his voice was bright. “Some of them were really cool, though! I made a list for when they’re released. I think the designer is going to send me a couple of pieces, too. I saw some of the pictures, and I think you’ll like them.”

“You look hot in them? Wait, you look hot in anything. No one is more handsome than Zhou Mi in full force.”

Zhou Mi laughed, but Kyuhyun could tell he was preening. That was laying it on a little thick, but he couldn’t detect a lie in it, either.

“I can show you the pictures my manager took next time we meet up,” Zhou Mi promised. “I’d love to see you in some of those, too.”

Kyuhyun didn’t spend a lot of his life thinking about clothes, but if it pleased Zhou Mi to dress him up, he wasn’t going to argue.

“Well, just let me know. Hey, since we’re talking about clothes. What are you wearing now?”

There was utter silence from the other end of the line and Kyuhyun was two seconds from fearing that he had gone too far when Zhou Mi hummed.

“Right now…nothing. Well. A sheet, I guess.”

He guessed. And suddenly, Kyuhyun understood Zhou Mi’s pause. Kyuhyun regretted asking because he had all those images in his head. Not that he’d seen Zhou Mi in nothing but a sheet, but he’d seen him shirtless and in the tiniest of shorts which didn’t leave a lot of real estate in between. His trim little hips, and—

“Is that how you sleep?” Kyuhyun asked. He needed to know. For science.

“Sometimes, but not always. What about you?”

“It depends. Usually in summer, a pair of shorts or something. In winter, usually pajamas.”

“Sounds nice to cuddle.”

Naked Zhou Mi cuddling—

He rolled onto his belly to try and delay the throbbing that had started up.

“It’s interesting,” Zhou Mi said, his voice unreadable over the phone. “I hadn’t thought about how empty my bed felt until we got closer. I just imagined turning over and having you right there to talk to, and hold, and kiss.”

Kyuhyun considered the pillow beside his, imagined Zhou Mi right there. Zhou Mi’s cheek a little squished into the pillow, one eye drooping sleepily, smiling at him. He wondered how compatible they would be, sleeping next to each other.

“I hope you don’t hog blankets.”

Zhou Mi laughed, clearly turning away from the phone so he didn’t deafen Kyuhyun.

“Maybe, if it makes you get closer?”

“Depends on if you’re naked under the blankets,” Kyuhyun joked.

“I could be.”

Oh. Oh, well. He muffled a moan into his pillow, and turned back to the phone.

“Thank you for that. That’s going to make it easier to sleep with those thoughts.”

“Oh really?” Zhou Mi asked. He sounded far too smug. Forget cuddling with a pillow, Kyuhyun was going to throw one. “Would you be naked, too?”

Kyuhyun was going to give him a taste of his own medicine. “For you I could be.”

“Oh! That makes it a lot easier to get close. Really close. I wish you were here right now.”

If they were both naked and together right then, he didn’t think rest was going to happen. “You think we’d actually sleep?”

“Not the way I’m feeling,” Zhou Mi said.

Kyuhyun hissed and rolled right back over, giving his body a little relief. “You’re killing me.”

“I just want to feel you against me. To be all over…each other. Do you like everything?”

“Everything?” Kyuhyun asked, his voice forcefully calm, and his control rapidly breaking.

“Mmhmm. Having a man, or having a man inside you.”

Oh, it was so cute, he was trying to dance around saying it.

“I like sex,” Kyuhyun said. Zhou Mi giggled a little breathlessly on the other end of the line. “And yeah, I like giving and taking both. I’ve thought about that, when I was in your lap. How good you’d feel.”

“Oh. There’s always a place for you in my lap.”

Fuck it, he thought, and squeezed himself through his shorts. He couldn’t help the moan and Zhou Mi’s sigh was pleased.

“Are you touching yourself, too?” Zhou Mi asked.

The words were not sweet or light. That was the question of a man who had thoughts of getting him naked in bed and quite a bit more than that.

“I am now,” he said.

There were moments full of breathing, and Kyuhyun was imagining Zhou Mi’s fingers rubbing against his own skin. He wondered how big Zhou Mi felt against his fingers, how firm and warm. Maybe he used lube, or liked to stroke himself without.

“What are you thinking about?” Kyuhyun asked.

“How much I want to kiss you right now. I wish you were touching me.”

Kyuhyun groaned a little. “I bet your hands feel good.”

“Yours, too. If you were in my lap… I’d touch you all over and tease your neck with my mouth until you can’t be still. You’d try to move into my hand.”

“I’d be moaning for you,” Kyuhyun wheezed. He was nearly writhing then at the scene Zhou Mi set up, stroking himself quicker, completely under Zhou Mi’s spell.

“Are you moaning my name?”

Kyuhyun nodded, and realized Zhou Mi couldn’t see him. “Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Zhou Mi.”

“You’re so hot, all over me, rubbing against my fingers. You’re so desperate and you feel so good. I want you to come all over me, and come because I’m touching you.”

Him coming for Zhou Mi’s stroking fingers, coming all over Zhou Mi’s stomach, coming with Zhou Mi’s lips against his neck. His moan was sharp, and his body shuddered as he came to the images and Zhou Mi’s voice. He came into his shorts, stroking himself, and he couldn’t even parse the words then, just knowing Zhou Mi was still talking as began to pant. He relaxed, spent, and throbbed again to hear Zhou Mi take a ragged breath.

“Did you just…?”

“You don’t leave me a lot of control,” Kyuhyun admitted. He was half embarrassed to have gotten off - again - before Zhou Mi.

“I bet you’re really good at that.”

“Getting myself off?”

“No, though that too,” Zhou Mi said, and his voice was soft. “Touching.”

“I could show you,” Kyuhyun suggested. Though. Showing could mean Zhou Mi just watching him, which wasn’t what he meant. “I mean. Demonstrating. _Helping you out._ “

Zhou Mi had started huffing in laughter by the end of Kyuhyun’s little speech and Kyuhyun groaned at him.

“I’d enjoy being shown. And being helped.”

How much he would like to help. But Zhou Mi hadn’t come yet, and maybe there was only one way to help, but he was essentially hearing Zhou Mi jerking off, and he wasn’t going to leave Zhou Mi hanging.

“I’d help you any time. You said you loved my mouth, and I’d love making you moan with it. Run my lips all over you, feel you get hard against my tongue.” He felt shameless, thrilled and driven by Zhou Mi’s desperate little sounds. “I’d keep sucking until you couldn’t help moaning my name. I’d be moaning around you because it turned me on so much to feel you so—“

Zhou Mi drew in a ragged breath, a groan rolling out of him, and Kyuhyun couldn’t speak then, listening to his moans, imagining his desperate, stroking hand. Zhou Mi was coming. Zhou Mi had gotten off while Kyuhyun was talking to him. It made Kyuhyun blow out a slow breath.

It took a bit but Zhou Mi put his face closer to the phone, and Kyuhyun heard him hum.

“Why haven’t we done that sooner?”

Kyuhyun laughed, delighted. “Better late than never.”

“You had such good ideas,” Zhou Mi teased. “Oh, I’ll be thinking about that. I just needed to call. I needed to hear your voice, too. I like your voice. You make me feel connected.”

The conversation shifted sharply from charged, to sweet and Kyuhyun sent a helpless look at his phone.

“I like your voice a bit, too,” he said, and Zhou Mi cooed.

“Just a bit?”

“Maybe a little more than a bit.”

“Should I sing you to sleep?”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes as Zhou Mi hummed a little at him. He sighed a little when Zhou Mi paused.

“I don’t know if I should tell you that’s going to put me to sleep or keep me awake.”

“Maybe I should do an album of lullabies,” Zhou Mi teased.

“I’d be okay with that.”

And then a yawn made his jaw pop and he could hear Zhou M laughing.

“Okay. Sounds like time to sleep.” Zhou Mi pressed a kiss against his phone. “Sleep well. I love you.”

It actually ran a chill through him, hearing it so casually, unprompted.

“Yeah, love you, too. For real, go to sleep.”

“I will,” Zhou Mi promised.

Kyuhyun stayed where he was after the phone beeped, indicating the call was over. He was tempted for a half of a second to just roll over and pass out, until he realized how sticky he felt. He sent Zhou Mi one last text when he climbed back into bed. He anticipated waking up to outrage. All the text said was: “You’re right. Just a sheet is nice.”

He put his hand near the other pillow, imagining Zhou Mi covering his hand and squeezing. It helped him slip right into sleep.

***

To go out on a public date felt like a decadence and a danger. Zhou Mi had sworn he owed Kyuhyun a meal, and he had saw this cute place he wanted to try. Saying no to Zhou Mi when they didn’t have all that much time together anyway was impossible. He’d felt like he’d been wearing some kind of awkward fan billboard when he’d been meeting with Zhou Mi to start with, but walking in felt even more conspicuous. He wasn’t wearing some neon sign that shouted “MAN DATING A MALE CELEBRITY RIGHT HERE” or something, and as long as he didn’t act suspicious, he was invisible. Zhou Mi was less so, leggy and gorgeous, and even if he wore sunglasses, his bone structure stood out. But Kyuhyun couldn’t admire Zhou Mi’s jawline as they settled into a table across from each other when he was worried about…everything. The waiter didn’t seem to notice anything amiss, and Kyuhyun’s heart sort of leaped when their legs brushed under the table.

Even the food arrived without note, but Kyuhyun had this gnawing feeling he couldn’t shake. Every time someone laughed, it felt like his glances were sharper, trying to see if anyone was looking, if anyone noticed. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye, absently agreeing with something Zhou Mi said before relaxing because no, it wasn’t someone with a camera.

“Is your food okay?” Zhou Mi asked.

“What? Oh, yeah, it’s good.” He took another spoonful of the broth to taste it and felt like he actually did taste it that time. It really was good, and he nodded at Zhou Mi to emphasize that.

He blinked, because Zhou Mi was leaning closer to him. No, they couldn’t be too close, if someone saw— He leaned back, and there was something shrewd in the way that Zhou Mi looked at him then.

“I’ve seen you be nervous around me, but this is new. Are you worried someone is going to see…?”

“Something like that?” Kyuhyun said. “You might be uncomfortable, or—“

“I love meeting people. It’s an inconvenience to people I’m with sometimes, but usually it doesn’t take much of my time. I tried to be really careful when we met at first because I wanted…I wanted that time with you. You don’t have to be afraid. If anyone sees, they’ll see two friends having a meal.”

What Zhou Mi said made sense. Zhou Mi was notorious for being really good to his fans, and two guys having a meal together wouldn’t start a rumor unless they started making out across the table. It just made him embarrassed, taking a few quick bites and grumbling a bit at Zhou Mi tapping their shoes together.

“So cute,” Zhou Mi said, and it wasn’t said to make Kyuhyun more embarrassed but it managed to anyway. He wanted to move his collar away from his heated neck, but he thought Zhou Mi might have really started teasing him then.

“Eat before it gets cold,” Kyuhyun settled on, which was a total copout.

Zhou Mi smirked at him a little, which sent Kyuhyun on a completely different mental trajectory. It let him relax, though, expounding on one of the stories that he’d texted Zhou Mi about one of his coworkers who’d managed to douse his nice gray slacks in toner. It was good to see Zhou Mi eating, because he could see the strain of tiredness around his eyes. It made him worry, as a— A boyfriend? He didn’t know why that was a word that suddenly made him squirmy, when they’d been on dates, had gotten off together.

He cleared his throat, needing to get far away from those thoughts. No, maybe no one would divine why two men were out eating, but he was pretty sure those thoughts would be dangerously close to being broadcasted citywide.

“I kind of wanted to tell you in private,” Zhou Mi said, draining his bowl and getting his elbows on the table so he could lean forward. “But I don’t want to have to wait. We know when I’m flying out for the award ceremony, and… I got confirmation of a ticket for you.”

“Oh!” He’d been quietly making plans when Zhou Mi had mentioned it to get a day or two off around the ceremony itself. Even if Zhou Mi hadn’t been able to get him a ticket, he figured it’d be good time off and he’d at least be able to watch it on TV. “What day do you go? I’ll start looking for a plane ticket.”

“I’ll go the day before, so you can go any time that’s convenient. I wish we could fly together,” Zhou Mi said, and sighed. “But! I’ll be busy that day I get there, because of a few schedules, but we might be able to meet up before I get whisked off to get ready. You’ll have a hotel room there in the hotel for two nights, too. Hopefully close to mine.”

That seemed to make Zhou Mi pleased to tell him that, and Kyuhyun wasn’t sure if he should trust that look.

“Do I just pay when I check in, or…?”

“No. The room is taken care of. You’re going! Besides, a plane ticket might not be cheap.”

“Yeah, but—“

Zhou Mi was a mule. A sunshine-emitting, actual piece of granite when he wasn’t willing to budge. Kyuhyun had to shelve the argument or he was just going to continue running into Zhou Mi’s easy refusals. It was hard to argue with a man like that.

“Then, thank you,” Kyuhyun said “For putting all of that together. My vacation time is settled, so there won’t be anything to stop me from going.”

Zhou Mi grinned at him, and it was Zhou Mi’s turn to look around, frustrated for a split second that there were people around them to keep him from dancing right over the table to squeeze Kyuhyun into three pieces.

“You’re going to go,” Zhou Mi said, shaking his fists and cheerleading there right from his seat.

“You’re really going to make people stare,” Kyuhyun scolded, and Zhou Mi laughed.

It was fun to make plans, to make dreams. Even if they couldn’t travel together, Zhou Mi had a lot to tell him about the city, links he promised to send, and a general excitement about the ceremony itself. It was a big deal, being nominated. It was a big deal that Zhou Mi wanted him there. That pleased him, and it ate away any resistance he might have had for how Zhou Mi was setting up and paying for part of the trip for him. He didn’t want to wash away any of that happiness.

When the taxi to take Zhou Mi away pulled up, Zhou Mi was wrapped around Kyuhyun almost immediately.

“I want to kiss you so much right now,” Zhou Mi murmured into his neck.

“I know,” Kyuhyun said, patting his back. He did, too. He did way too much of the time, like when he stood still and relived their first kiss.

“Soon,” Zhou Mi promised.

Their faces brushed as they pulled back, and Kyuhyun patted at Zhou Mi’s arm.

“Get some rest.”

“I will,” Zhou Mi said, and looked tempted to go right back in for another hug. Instead he nodded a little, smiling and ducking into the car. They waved as long as they could as the car pulled out into traffic, and it left Kyuhyun alone and feeling itchy in the weirdest way.

He’d thought he’d be better at the whole relationship thing. Or at least, more disconnected, more selfish. He usually hated having his time infringed on, weird interruptions, not having some semblance of control. The thought of a relationship had been a bit soul-sucking, but his need eclipsed his every expectation. To touch, to talk.

Maybe it was because he’d never loved anyone he’d dated before, not like that. He just hadn’t known how he’d be until he was there. Even if he’d never actually said anything to his friends he’d silently judged, he crafted a tiny silent apology anyway.

Kyuhyun made a bit of a kissy face in the selca that he sent. To most people it just looked like a cute picture. He knew Zhou Mi would understand.

***

It was not as though Zhou Mi was something that Kyuhyun had created himself, like a mug or a painting. The feeling of pride in showing Zhou Mi off was great, though seeing him accomplish something wasn’t something he could take credit for. Zhou Mi’s parents got credit for his looks, and Zhou Mi himself got credit for his personality. 

He wasn’t even sure why he was thinking about it. It had taken a lot of schedule massaging, but when Kyuhyun had brought up the idea of Zhou Mi meeting Ryeowook, he’d been wholeheartedly into it. When they barely had time to get together as it was, Kyuhyun still wanted that to happen. At least from his end to somehow show, hey, here’s this great guy and yes he was somehow in a relationship. It wasn’t as though Ryeowook was a man without taste so Kyuhyun had no doubts about Ryeowook liking Zhou Mi. And Ryeowook was his friend and a good person, so Zhou Mi was going to like him, too. He’d liked Zhou Mi’s friends, and from what Zhou Mi had said they’d seemed to like him.

But Kyuhyun had a larger problem in that, for the first time, Zhou Mi was coming over to his apartment. It was probably a good thing that he wasn’t alone, because he asked Ryeowook about five times to be sure everything looked okay. He’d scrubbed down the bathroom, shined up the kitchen. He’d put away a couple of Zhou Mi-related items for the sake of his soul, but he still had things scattered and pictures on the wall.

There was stuff in his bedroom, but they weren’t going to get to see that while Ryeowook was there. Which was probably good. Maybe. If they were going to get naked, he almost preferred it to be at Zhou Mi’s place. Though he wasn’t sure why. Maybe because that was where everything else started, though that was a weird reason, too.

Kyuhyun almost stumbled onto his feet the door chime, and Ryeowook blatantly laughed at him. Zhou Mi had texted not 20 minutes earlier indicating he was getting closer, so it wasn’t like Kyuhyun was unprepared. Still, it was his home, and his… His…

Zhou Mi was taking off his sunglasses as Kyuhyun opened the door, and he only had half a second for his heart to stop because of it while getting Zhou Mi waved in.

“You found it! Ryeowook got here just a bit a ago, and oh, you didn’t have to bring any—“

“Hi,” Zhou Mi said, And when Kyuhyun would have taken whatever it was Zhou Mi had in the box he’d brought, Zhou Mi reached and cupped his elbow. Kyuhyun’s brain fluttered right off as Zhou Mi’s lips brushed against his.

“Hi,” Kyuhyun replied, and they beamed at each other for a moment before Ryeowook’s chuckle broke through to him. Zhou Mi had just kissed him in front of someone. Zhou Mi had just kissed him in front of someone. Zhou Mi had just—

Kyuhyun walked on absolute autopilot with Zhou Mi over to where Ryeowook had stood.

“You know who Zhou Mi is,” Kyuhyun said to Ryeowook, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. “This is my friend, Ryeowook.”

The only one who knew about “them.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Ryeowook said, ignoring Kyuhyun and whatever his face was doing. “I knew of you but I’ve heard a lot about you since.”

“Not a lot!” Kyuhyun clarified, smacking at Ryeowook’s arm. “Ryeowook is a fan, too. Not as big a fan as I am, but— As I was. As I am,” he settled on. Because he still was. That hadn’t—

He had two men laughing at him and he gave them both a stare of death and took Zhou Mi’s box the two steps to the kitchen.

“I’m glad Kyuhyun hasn’t figure out how to be cool around you yet,” Ryeowook said.

“He’s been wonderful,” Zhou Mi said. Ah, loyalty. “Don’t tell him I said that though.”

Okay, maybe not. Kyuhyun snorted just as audibly as Zhou Mi’s warning had been, and peeked into the box. He didn’t think Zhou Mi would bring something he had to be wary of, but it made sense to be cautious. But no, nothing risqué was in the box, just the wafting of sweet and chocolate.

“Zhou Mi wants me to have to roll to work,” Kyuhyun teased. Zhou M just blinked all innocence at him.

It was fun to sit and pass out drinks once his stress had dropped. No more waiting, no more last minute panics, just Zhou Mi and Ryeowook who were chatting easily. Enviously easily, as he glanced between them. He half thought of taking a chair further away from Zhou Mi, like they had to be subtle somehow, but he sat down, spread out, his knee pressing noticeably into Zhou Mi’s. Zhou Mi’s hand darted out immediately, squeezing Kyuhyun’s leg, and Kyuhyun buzzed a little as Zhou Mi smiled at him. It was like being thrown into a relaxing hot tub. He had two of his favorite people in the universe nearby, and he almost couldn’t believe how things had changed. He’d have pinched himself that yes, Zhou Mi was right there next to him had Zhou Mi not been worrying the fabric of Kyuhyun’s pants.

He didn’t think that Ryeowook had thought he’d been making it all up but there they were, all three of them.

“The way Kyuhyun talked, I wondered if he might have wallpaper of my face,” Zhou Mi said, craning his neck to look around.

Kyuhyun almost jerked his knee away at that. 

“Oh no,” Ryeowook said. There, that was his support. “Though he probably could with your last album. He bought… how many did you buy? At least twenty of your albums trying to get into a fan sign once.”

It was probably closer to 25, but Kyuhyun wasn’t going to stick his foot in that trap even as Zhou Mi exclaimed, “Twenty!”

“I didn’t keep them all,” Kyuhyun insisted. “Some people bought them from me.”

A few of them anyway, Ryeowook being one of them. And Ryeowook was completely unaffected by throwing Kyuhyun under the bus.

“But even with all that you didn’t get in,” Zhou Mi said, patting Kyuhyun’s knee in apology.

“You remember every person you’ve ever signed for, is that it?”

“I’d have remembered you,” Zhou Mi said, and Kyuhyun could nearly believe it. “Plus you’d have told me if we’d met before the meet and greet, too.”

“Fair enough.”

They eyed each other, and let that go. All Kyuhyun really had to do was sit back and let the two of them get acquainted, correcting, interjecting, laughing and trying not to get smacked. It was just normal conversation, just had in his apartment was all. It washed over him, again. Zhou Mi, overlord of Kyuhyun’s little fanboy heart, champion and emperor of his warm and fuzzy feelings, was in his apartment. Kyuhyun couldn’t help the sort of intense grin that jerked up the corners of his mouth, and Zhou Mi smiled at him a bit tentatively back like he wasn’t sure what all that smile was about. He was fairly sure tackling Zhou Mi and rolling around with him in ecstatic glory wasn’t the appropriate response.

There wasn’t enough room, for one thing.

And his bladder was calling to him. Damn adrenaline.

“I have to go for a minute,” Kyuhyun said, mourning the loss of Zhou Mi’s hand but not exactly being able to take him into the bathroom with him. It was just outside of his bedroom, around the corner from where they’d been sitting, so it wasn’t like he was going far.

Bodily functions, they happened. He made a couple of faces at the mirror as he passed, hearing conversation continuing in his absence, which was good. He was a good boy and didn’t try to strain to hear what they were talking about while he was gone. He didn’t tarry overly long, either, and there was nothing but innocent faces when he went back out, Zhou Mi at the fridge getting himself more water.

“We missed you,” Zhou Mi told him.

“Did you?”

“At least you’re finally out,” Ryeowook said. “My turn.”

“Finally— Don’t fall in!” Kyuhyun shot after him.

“I’ll be back in a second. Not everyone’s bowels are as slow as yours are.”

Kyuhyun didn’t know if he should be offended or not, but whatever else he thought, Zhou Mi was laughing at least. And instead of wanting to talk about how weird his friends were, Zhou Mi just guided him right in, putting his hands on Kyuhyun’s back and waist and taking the time they had alone to kiss him, a kiss that Kyuhyun felt right down on through. The counter’s stability made it easy to lean in, and that was something he definitely took advantage of.

“I like your place,” Zhou Mi said.

“Oh yeah?” Kyuhyun asked. He almost shivered at the fingers that Zhou Mi trailed up his spine.

“Yeah. You’re in it.”

Zhou Mi just mocked his groan, teasing him into another kiss. Or three, so easy to fall into the luxury of Zhou Mi’s mouth. He thought he heard a sound, and his sense of place began to filter in.

“Ryeowook will be back soon,” Kyuhyun said.

“Don’t mind me,” he heard from behind him, and Kyuhyun turned his head so fast he nearly became an owl. And there was Ryeowook, sitting there in his chair like he’d been there for a long time actually. Kyuhyun extracted himself from Zhou Mi’s arms and swiped his hand across his mouth. He was only flushing a little, glancing to see if Zhou Mi had reacted at all. But no, Zhou Mi was 100% shameless, sitting down like he was caught kissing every day of the week.

Though, he was used to people gawking at him as a celebrity, so there was that.

Kyuhyun had never quite met someone as pleased and amused to watch two people bicker as Zhou Mi was to watch Kyuhyun with Ryeowook. Most people rolled their eyes. In fact, Kyuhyun thought maybe he should’ve been on better behavior, but he wasn’t being mean. He was just…being himself.

“He may be dating you, but he is also dating his computer,” Ryeowook said.

“Hey!” Kyuhyun said. “Though. That may be true.”

Zhou Mi nudged him. “We should introduce our computers.”

“Do I even want to know what e-mails from you look like? Do you typo?”

“Kyuhyun!” Zhou Mi burst out, laughing. He’d had Zhou Mi’s email for a little while, Zhou Mi having forwarded him some information about the hotel, but they’d mostly been in contact via text or by phone.

Kyuhyun made fun of the typos but he wasn’t even the littlest bit begrudging of the mistakes since most of the time Zhou Mi was so good about it, and added to the fact that if Zhou Mi hadn’t taken the effort, they would have to be communicating in gestures and stick figures. Kyuhyun’s Mandarin was far and away not nearly as good. Though he maybe had bought something to help. He stared at the ceiling as Ryeowook showed Zhou Mi pictures of them as teenagers, Zhou Mi cooing like he was looking at baby pictures or something.

“This was a school trip. I think we were 18 in this one,” Ryeowook said.

“I’m still 18,” Zhou Mi quipped.

“You look good for your age,” Kyuhyun said.

Zhou Mi preened a little despite the teasing, but then sighed when he looked down at his phone.

“I need to get going. I’m flying out in the morning for a schedule.”

“At least you got to come out for a while,” Kyuhyun said. He was fighting the urge to pout a little. He knew that Zhou Mi needed rest and to get ready, and he was grateful that Zhou Mi had been able to visit at all.

“It was really nice meeting you,” Zhou Mi said, reaching out and grasping Ryeowook’s hand warmly. Ryeowook actually looked a little surprised and Kyuhyun just rocked a bit, to see them smiling at each other. It was up to him to show Zhou Mi out, though. With the goodbyes done, he followed Zhou Mi toward the door and all he had to do was walk into Zhou Mi’s arms.

It was some kind of a test to see who could squeeze each other tighter, humming as Zhou Mi rocked him, rubbed against his back. He was trying to absorb everything he could of that hug so he could write it into himself until he could have another one.

“Best hugs,” Kyuhyun mumbled, because his face was being squished.

“Thank you for having me over,” Zhou Mi said, as they both reluctantly started to let go.

“Thank you for coming over,” Kyuhyun said. “Now you know where it is.”

“Ooh,” Zhou Mi said, and nuzzled right in, kissing him again. “I’ll miss you.”

“You’ll be too busy to miss me. But I’ll miss you for both of us,” Kyuhyun said.

It almost made him groan the second he said it, but Zhou Mi’s grin kept him from actively regretting saying such a ridiculous thing.

“I love you,” Zhou Mi said, and Kyuhyun all but swelled with emotion, nodding.

“Love you, too,” Kyuhyun said, and that was another kiss, and it wasn’t supposed to be that hard to get someone out the door.

“Okay, okay. I hope we can meet up again,” Zhou Mi called to Ryeowook. Ryeowook responded in kind and Kyuhyun lifted his head, getting one last kiss before Zhou Mi sighed out all of his regret and opened the door. He left with a wave, in a quick motion, like if he didn’t get the door closed behind him, then he’d just come right back in.

Kyuhyun wandered back to the table in a bit of daze, and the look on Ryeowook’s face had him putting his head down on the table. Zhou Mi had been in his apartment, and Zhou Mi had gone, and he didn’t have a Zhou Mi to hug or kiss for a while.

“What,” Kyuhyun said, feeling Ryeowook’s stare on the top of his head.

“I’m just trying to divine how to get a relationship like that. No wonder you couldn’t keep yourself together. You were wondering if everything was off because you’d started as a fan, but he just… He left today with a giant Kyuhyun-sized cutout missing from his heart.”

Kyuhyun tilted his head up. “And?”

Ryeowook smirked and just shook his head. “There’s no hope for either of you. You need to spray your cologne on a sachet or something so he can carry around a piece of you. Or give hm a locket. Hair would probably be a little creepy.”

“A sachet,” Kyuhyun laughed.

At least laughing with Ryeowook helped him forget for a while what felt like the Zhou-Mi sized piece missing from his own heart.

 

***

Kyuhyun almost felt like he was some kind of celebrity going through security to get to his flight. No one paid the slightest bit of attention to him, and no one pointed him out and realized he was going to an award ceremony. It wasn’t like he was the one up for an award. He was just going to be up on a balcony somewhere peering down at the stars below. Maybe it was just his excitement, but that was okay.

The plane ride was relatively short, and he found the shuttle taking him toward the hotel as well. It was a little bit of a hike, and he had to just about swear on his life to get access to the hotel. At least the reservations were in his name, or else it really would’ve gotten awkward.

“I’m in the hotel! Hope it’s going well!” Kyuhyun texted Zhou Mi.

Kyuhyun was there an afternoon early, and he knew without a doubt that Zhou Mi wasn’t going to be free for dinner, even if he’d arrived the day before Kyuhyun had. They’d had a ten minute car hangout before Zhou Mi’s flight, and Kyuhyun had just wanted to put himself in Zhou Mi’s pocket, only able to lean together and hug and squeeze each other’s hand under the shielding of a jacket. But it had been contact and presence, which was better than nothing.

Kyuhyun wandered out of the hotel, making very sure he had his key card and confirmation he was a guest of the hotel, and did a little sightseeing before eating. He liked seeing new places, new areas, getting a feel for what was around him. If he needed to go out the next day, at least he had an idea of what was around the hotel. Though he suspected security would be even stricter then. He did send Zhou Mi a picture of his food, though, so he’d feel included.

He’d been back in his room and relaxing with his computer for almost an hour after that before Zhou Mi texted him back.

“I’ll be back at the hotel but probably after you’re asleep. I hope dinner was good!”

The picture Zhou Mi sent with that message was cute, though Zhou Mi looked tired even with the filters.

“Get some sleep if you can! Can’t have you falling asleep during the ceremony??”

Hopefully Zhou Mi would laugh. But Zhou Mi really did get back after Kyuhyun slept, from the texts he woke up to, including one with Zhou Mi and a toothbrush.

It wasn’t like Kyuhyun had much to do to get ready. He left the hotel for breakfast, venturing further that time and getting to see a few of the city’s landmarks before leaving himself a safe amount of time to get back to the hotel, to shower, and dress in his nicest suit. Zhou Mi had provided him an itinerary for guests including when guests were going to be allowed in, when they should arrive, and he was going to follow that to the letter. With his phone fully charged, he figured even if he had to fidget and wait inside forever he wouldn’t be stressed out worried he was going to be late.

No one stopped him for being underdressed or questioned why he was there. He was a bit tense, reminding himself that no, he really was not up for an award or going to be required to perform. But all he had to do was hunker down in his seat and listen to faintly piped in music and the murmurs of people who were still filtering in. At least his mental picture of getting rejected and having to stand outside like a stray dog while not wanting to text Zhou Mi because he would worry wasn’t coming true.

The closer it got to the starting time, the louder the hum of conversation got, and the more people that filled in the seats around him as well. No one who sat around him was familiar anyway. He glanced, a little, but anyone who was important would be seated closer, he figured. Maybe there were other fans like him who’d been able to snag a seat. Fans of any of the artists, not just Zhou Mi. He shoved a piece of candy into his mouth and then almost choked on it as the lights dimmed, and the whole affair started up.

At least it wasn’t just a big procession of awards, because the intermittent performances helped to break it up a lot. Some of the songs he knew, so that was fun, too. Kyuhyun tried to scan for Zhou Mi down below, but being a few rows back in the balcony himself made that impossible and it was just a sea of tables and performers anyway. Apparently his Zhou Mi-spotting sixth sense hadn’t activated to that level.

Suddenly there were familiar pictures on the screen, the music queueing up to something so utterly familiar, and—

Kyuhyun all but wheezed as Zhou Mi and his back up dancers came up through the floor and began to perform. He was mouthing the fanchant, hand moving in his lap like a light stick would appear in it, glued alternately between Zhou Mi and the larger projection off to the side. Zhou Mi sounded great, though he wasn’t entirely positive Zhou Mi was singing live, and he looked amazing, dressed in red and black checks and shoes so shiny he could see the gleam all the way from his seat.

Kyuhyun remembered to breathe as the applause started, clapping until his hands hurt, straining for one last glimpse. It was just minutes later that the award for social media favorite was announced.

Kyuhyun inhaled. He may have forgotten to do anything else as Zhou Mi’s name was called, the presenter greeting him as Zhou Mi jogged up from the seats still in the black and red outfit. 

“I love that the Internet helps us to stay connected, with our friends, and family, and our fans. I wouldn’t be here without all of you!”

He only assumed what Zhou Mi was saying until he saw the translation appearing on the screen. Zhou Mi spoke mostly in Mandarin and added in a little coda in Korean of thanks to all his fans and to everyone who supported him. Zhou Mi saluted the balconies, too, including once in his general direction. He knew it wasn’t just for him, but maybe it made his little heart shiver.

Zhou Mi was never going to know, so there was that. There were no sobbing violins in reality. That was his boyfriend. He deserved it, too, Kyuhyun had no doubt. He was always so sweet, sometimes really random and weird about it, but so giving.

Kyuhyun didn’t even get to see where Zhou Mi went to sit because he walked off with the presenter, and then there was a long Zhou Mi-less stretch for Kyuhyun to get himself together, stretching a little in his seat as things were set up and there was at least one audio glitch.

But when best male solo artist was announced as the next category, Kyuhyun’s eyes were glued to the screens as they showed the five men up for the award. Zhou Mi was announced third, his sultry album art staring out at the crowd for just a second or two before the next two were shown.

“And this year’s award for Best Male Solo Artist goes to…”

Kyuhyun may have dented the armrests of his seat as the whole building waited on that pause.

“Zhou Mi!!”

Kyuhyun collapsed back into his chair, making a sound of relief, of joy, laughing because he didn’t know what else to _do_ and then rapt as Zhou Mi made his way up onto the stage in an impeccably tailored tuxedo. His hair was perfect. His face was perfect as he smiled and accepted the award. Zhou Mi turned to the mic and Kyuhyun swallowed hard as Zhou Mi again began to speak in Mandarin. He fumbled for his phone, lifting it and zooming in. He needed at least one picture he’d taken himself, even if Zhou Mi resembled an ant in it. Zhou Mi. His first major, really major award. Acknowledgement of everything he’d been working for.

Zhou Mi switched to Korean, saying a lot of names of the company, staff, his manager, his fans.

“Thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way, and those who have made me stronger with both good and bad. It’s because of you that I’m standing here today, that I appreciate this so much. Thank you to everyone who loves me, and those here supporting me. I hope you always know how much I love you, too. Thank you!”

Kyuhyun was there supporting him. Kyuhyun was there loving him. He knew part of that shoutout was for him, and he couldn’t just stand up and start applauding to prevent a meltdown because no one else was. But he was wheezing like an asthmatic terrier, digging the nails of one hand into his palm and touching his throat, his hair. He could barely see Zhou Mi walking off the stage because of the shimmering in his eyes. He was pretty sure that the people on either side of him thought he was either going into cardiac arrest or just had serious problems.

In that moment, if Kyuhyun had had to rewind and if his boss had told him no, he couldn’t have those days off, he was pretty sure he would have quit to be sure he was right there, sitting in that seat, brimming over with the knowledge that he was there for Zhou Mi.

They awarded best solo female artist, and a few group awards after that which let Kyuhyun at least partly collect himself since he knew Zhou Mi was up for two more awards. He was actually shaking with all the emotion he’d already been through, swallowing hard, his stomach in knots, breathing cautiously through one last performance before the last awards of the night.

Song of the year, and album of the year.

There was another interminable pause between the announcement of the award itself, and the announcement of the winner of song of the year.

Zhou Mi’s name echoed in his eardrums, and for a second he thought maybe he’d hallucinated it, but no, there was Zhou Mi’s single cover, there was Zhou Mi’s song being pumped out into the building. And there was Zhou Mi, bounding onto the stage like he’d never left, his laughter echoing into the mic as he hugged the presenter, and accepted his award.

Kyuhyun was good, he thought. He’d had his moment with the first award. He was old hat at this thing now, completely as cool as the cucumbers Zhou Mi wouldn’t eat. And he was, too, as long as he watched Zhou Mi and the translation of Zhou Mi again thanking everyone on earth. His throat got a bit tight as Zhou Mi spoke of being grateful.

Zhou Mi’s voice broke as he spoke, clearly overcome with emotion as he had to pause and start a sentence over again. Kyuhyun gave up on everything, crying as he covered part of his face with one hand. He didn’t know how to listen or to read while he was trying not to sob as Zhou Mi grinned all tearily and saluted everyone with his award, just brimming over visibly with appreciation and love.

“You deserve it,” Kyuhyun whispered in the furor of applause, not able to keep that in as he realized yes, Zhou Mi was leaving the stage, and all he had were some stray napkins in his bag to try and mop up his face. If he’d been at home he would’ve been close to rending his clothes, but all he’d have ended up doing then was choking himself with his tie.

But that was the last award that Zhou Mi won that night. It was a little disappointing, because obviously he wanted Zhou Mi to get All the Awards, but he consoled himself with the fact that Zhou Mi had at least been nominated. That was something Zhou Mi would say, he had no doubt, though he figured Zhou Mi had to be at least disappointed a little, too.

While he was waiting for them to start being ushered out, Kyuhyun texted Zhou Mi really quickly.

“So proud! ILU!” Kyuhyun texted, adding in some music notes, an award, and some confetti emojis. And a heart, for good measure. “You looked great, too!”

There was really no room for joking. He figured that’d make Zhou Mi smile.

Getting out took longer than getting in had even, but he eventually made it, breathing in the cool night air and starting the hike back toward the hotel. It was only a couple of blocks and it felt good to stretch his legs and get out some of the pent-up emotion he’d been trying to suppress. He was pretty sure he’d have been able to run all the way home had there been that option.

“I wone!!! I won!!!” Zhou Mi texted him when Kyuhyun was waiting in line to get back into the hotel. Typo included.

Kyuhyun giggled a little. Like he’d been able to miss it. Though Zhou Mi also let him know he was heading out to a party and he’d text Kyuhyun when he got back. That was fine with Kyuhyun, really. Maybe he was kind of new to this whole dating-a-celebrity thing, but Zhou Mi most of the time didn’t feel like a celebrity unless Kyuhyun was having one of his random realization moments. Being corralled in a roomed with a bunch of strangers wasn’t his type of fun anyway. He would have, if Zhou Mi had wanted him there. If they were in a world where Kyuhyun could have been there, openly, instead of as just a buddy. It would’ve just caused too much attention one way or the other, something they were trying to avoid.

Though he outright laughed at himself in the mirror of his hotel room, because his face was blotchy like he’d been crying for hours.

Just having his shoes off made him feel more human, flopping down on the bed and not even caring if his suit got rumpled as he woke his laptop. His first visit was to the fansites, seeing the news pictures of Zhou Mi’s awards, seeing the fans collectively freaking out.

“At least I wasn’t the only one,” he muttered, feeling a little bit better about himself and saving the pictures and skimming a couple of early articles that said nice things. He didn’t dare watch the videos yet. He was tapped out on emotions for one night. He relaxed slowly, in increments, downing a bottle of water to replace all those tears even as he rolled his eyes at himself, and digging into his stash of snacks. Dinner wasn’t so much a thing that was happening, too lazy to leave the room and not hungry enough to bother with the expense of room service. He napped on and off, hoping that Zhou Mi was having a good time at least, watching TV and making very good use of the comfortable bed. He wanted a hug, just one hug. Though he figured, maybe one hug would mean his cells would just shake apart and Zhou Mi would just absorb him right in. He adjusted his cheek on the pillow, tugging his tie a bit looser, changing the channel, and waiting for the text that would tell him that Zhou Mi was back in the hotel, safe and happy.

***

Kyuhyun almost jolted off his bed when the phone buzzed beside him, and he stared at the text.

“Come to my room!!!!!!”

And a second later, the room number, which was helpful. Kyuhyun left his suit jacket behind, and just barely remembered his key card on the way out. He wasn’t sure if Zhou Mi was just extra excited, or if it was urgent, and there was the tiny little voice that said he was going to Zhou Mi’s hotel room. Which, in any other way to consider it, was a bedroom. He’d never even seen Zhou Mi’s own bed. The thought of Zhou Mi cozy in his bed made him smile and then cut off every possible thought process after that for reasons of needing to be able to look at himself in a mirror again.

Then again, Zhou Mi had to be so high from winning the awards, and Kyuhyun had already displayed to himself that he was willing to melt down at a moment’s notice. He wasn’t sure if he was going for celebration or an emotional explosion. He had a moment imagining them clutching each other and shaking and laughing and crying, and that was all before he sent a furtive look up and down the hall and knocked on Zhou Mi’s door.

He heard walking. A smile started on his face.

The smile faded slowly as there was clearly a struggle with the locks on the other side, and Kyuhyun glanced at his text again to make sure yes, he really was in the right place. If Zhou Mi had texted him the right number. Only a slightly moment of panic, before the door swung open and there was Zhou Mi, gorgeous, his smile bright, and a little off-kilter.

“You’re here!”

Kyuhyun’s eyes popped wide because Zhou Mi’s voice carried, and he did a completely impolite thing and all but shoehorned himself in the door that Zhou Mi was using as a prop.

“You’re here. I thought it was a dream! Why were you awake? Oh!”

No wonder the locks had been a challenge, and volume for that matter. A waft from Zhou Mi smelled like he’d made friends with a bar, almost making Kyuhyun wheeze. He got his shoes off, though, leading Zhou Mi in in case he needed to sit down or something.

“I see you enjoyed the party?”

“Yes,” Zhou Mi said, getting a hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder to steady himself. “Everyone was _so_ nice. Everyone wanted to get me a drink. To winning!”

Zhou Mi lifted his hand like he was giving a toast, but then stared at his hand as though offended a drink didn’t just appear in it for emphasis. Kyuhyun grinned, just a little.

“Your manager got you back okay?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, he was so nice, too. He made me lock all the locks before he left. He said,” and Zhou Mi waggled his finger in Kyuhyun’s face in what he had to assume was an approximation of what his manager had done. “‘You must not leave the room! For any reason! Except maybe fire.’ And I promised! And that’s why I texted you, otherwise I would have come to find you, but you’re here!”

That was good. That was actually very good that Zhou Mi had remembered his promise. If Zhou Mi had known Kyuhyun’s room number, maybe it wouldn’t have been too big a spectacle, but for some reason he could imagine Zhou Mi ending up at the front desk trying to get his room number, or worse, roaming the halls and knocking on doors to try to find him.

“I’m here, so it was a good promise,” Kyuhyun said.

“It was a good promise,” Zhou Mi agreed, sliding forward and nuzzling into Kyuhyun’s neck. “Is this what you wore? You look good. Did you see me win? I won!”

The little giggles Zhou Mi let out had Kyuhyun laughing helplessly, wrapping his arms around Zhou Mi and hugging him.

“I did. You looked great, and the performance was amazing, too. Will you remember I told you this tomorrow?”

“Of course!” Zhou Mi squawked. “I remember eeeeeverything. Everything. I wanted to show you, but you were— Oh! The awards! I want you to see them. I want you to hold them. They’re so pretty, oh— But my manager has them! I can call—“

“I can see them after we get back,” Kyuhyun assured him, catching Zhou Mi before he could slide away and for his phone. They didn’t really need Zhou Mi’s manager delivering awards in the middle of the night. Though he was sure of all the weird things managers saw, having a singer want to cuddle an award to sleep probably wasn’t among the weirdest. “I took pictures of you holding them. I can wait.”

Zhou Mi’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I just about leaped out of my seat I was so proud. Look.”

They weren’t great, considering they were on his phone, but Zhou Mi and his awards and his smile could be picked out. “I took a short video, too. Maybe I’ll cry when I see the broadcast.”

“Maybe I will, too,” Zhou Mi said, completely heartfelt. “You really liked it?”

“You were gorgeous,” Kyuhyun said. Zhou Mi seemed steady enough to stand, so he figured first things were first. Zhou Mi was getting a bit handsy, patting at his backside, but Kyuhyun rolled with it, tugging at Zhou Mi’s jacket so that it eventually slid off of his arms. He tackled the illusion-of-casual shirt next, getting Zhou Mi down to his undershirt. He smelled a bit of nerves and cologne, nothing unexpected.

“You’ll want to wash your face, brush your teeth, so you can get comfortable,” Kyuhyun said, stroking Zhou Mi’s sides.

“Oh. Comfortable.”

Zhou Mi said it so significantly like there was a reason Kyuhyun was helping him get ready, and Kyuhyun moved out of the sight of the bathroom because Zhou Mi had just wandered right in and left the door open, bouncing on the edge of the bed a little and staring between the walls.

“Make sure to use the toilet, too!” Kyuhyun called. He got back a garbled response, probably impeded by a toothbrush. More water running, and eventually a toilet flushing.

“I know how to get ready,” Zhou Mi pouted on his way out, and Kyuhyun laughed, rising onto his feet again. Zhou Mi’s hair was a bit damp and there was water dribbled down his shirt but he’d do.

“Let’s see you get out of your pants, then.”

Zhou Mi gasped, covering his mouth dramatically and giving quite a show of pretending. But he put his hand at his waistband.

“Do you really want me to?”

“I want you to,” Kyuhyun said, finally finding the switch that turned off the light at the far end of the room so that the only illumination around them was a nightlight in the bathroom and a light beside the bed. “And then I want you to get into bed.”

It seemed his illusion was up, because yes, Zhou Mi’s hands were poised to take off his pants, but he was also squinting at Kyuhyun in obvious suspicion.

“You want me to take off my pants so I can sleep.”

“That’s the end goal, yes,” Kyuhyun agreed. “Tonight, anyway. But first you have to get into bed.”

They were at a standoff for a minute and Zhou Mi was grumbling under his breath about who knew even what. Kyuhyun turned like a shot when Zhou Mi actually started stripping, finding an unopened bottle of water and turning to see Zhou Mi make it, generously, 3/4 of the way onto the bed. He hitched back a laugh, tossed the bottle down, grabbing ankles and stripping off socks as Zhou Mi got himself fully beached and wriggling until he at least had a sheet over him. Kyuhyun had already seen his legs, in his shorts, but they was a lot closer right there. He blew out a breath, making himself at home on the edge of the bed and offering the water to Zhou Mi who was propped up on a pillow and still a bit pouty.

“I meant what I said about you looking gorgeous today,” Kyuhyun said, in case Zhou Mi needed his ego stroked a little. And okay, he indulged himself, smoothing down a bit of hair that had fluffed on Zhou Mi’s escapade onto the mattress. “I’m really glad I got to go tonight.”

“Why did I drink so much? We had the room alone,” Zhou Mi mourned. He rubbed along Kyuhyun’s arm and Kyuhyun just shook his head, smiling.

“You’ve had a big day, and that party was once in a lifetime. You have a lot of alcohol to sleep off, so I should go back to my room and let you get some rest. You earned it.”

“But you just got here,” Zhou Mi said, a bit of a whine to it that was unbearably cute.

“I know, but you need sleep.”

“But I want you to stay a little longer. Over here, you can be comfortable.”

Zhou Mi patted the bed on the other side of him, and it was impossible to say no to. No ulterior motives on that face, just wanting Kyuhyun to stay longer. Just a little while, he reasoned, crawling onto the mattress and staying on top of the blankets as Zhou Mi accepted him in. Zhou Mi was warm, turning toward him and nuzzling him. Fully horizontal, fully comfortable and trading soft kisses.

“I wanted to celebrate with you,” Zhou Mi almost whispered.

“Getting to kiss you feels like celebrating to me.”

Zhou Mi did whine a little at that, whined for the both of them because of that sentence.

“I am comfortable, though,” Zhou Mi said, stroking along Kyuhyun’s upper arm. “Will you stay? To sleep. Will you?”

Zhou Mi sounded sure, not the slightly off-kilter words, like all he wanted was Kyuhyun to be close.

“Promise me you’ll tell me if I keep you from resting?”

“I promise,” Zhou Mi said, sealing that with a kiss.

Kyuhyun groaned a little, getting up and making a trip to the bathroom himself. Zhou Mi was all curled toward the middle of the bed and probably not keen on moving, so Kyuhyun flicked off the bedside light and sank the room into darkness. That was good, because he wiggled out of his pants and shirt, sliding under the sheet and blanket.

He was getting in bed with Zhou Mi. Both like and unlike some of the things that had passed through his head, but affection swamped him as Zhou Mi made a noise like he’d discovered something precious as he snuggled closer and kissed against Kyuhyun’s shoulder.

Kyuhyun caught Zhou Mi’s fingers, squeezing them. “Love you.”

Zhou Mi made a sound on an exhale that might’ve been an answer, might’ve been him falling asleep, because the next inhale was one of someone definitely not awake. Kyuhyun laughed a little, angling his head a little toward Zhou Mi and letting himself relax, little by little.

Kyuhyun woke when Zhou Mi woke once in the middle of the night. Early morning? Who knew. Zhou Mi stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom, swigging the rest of his water and slithering right back against Kyuhyun like a heat-seeking snake. He sleepily rubbed Zhou Mi’s arm to get warmth back into it and Zhou Mi murmured for him to go back to sleep, and he did, gratefully.

***

Someone said his name. It made him stir, trying to close his eyes against invading light. Kyuhyun was a hundred percent ready to sink right back into sleep when instead his butt was patted repeatedly.

“My manager is going to be here in a while, and if you don’t want to have to leave with him wondering what we got up to, you should probably go soon.”

Zhou Mi’s voice was so lovely, so calming. He could just listen to it all day.

And then Zhou Mi’s words sank through and Kyuhyun’s head shot up. Zhou Mi was laughing, touching Kyuhyun’s cheek when he cranked his head around.

“Good morning,” Zhou Mi said.

Kyuhyun accepted the kiss, with a belated afterthought to morning breath, and then the second that Zhou Mi turned around, Kyuhyun grabbed his pants and slithered into them. When he looked into the mirror over the desk, he saw just why Zhou Mi was touching his face, too, with the imprint of a pillow in it. He struggled into his shirt, buttoning it as Zhou Mi continued rubbing goop onto his face.

“Okay,” Kyuhyun said. “I’ll go back to my room and… Text me if…?”

“I will. I just have more press, and— Maybe you can sightsee before your flight? I want to go with you!” Zhou Mi half wailed, in an inside voice at least. “Another time. We’ll pick a nice place and see it together.”

He went out the door smelling like face cream because of a hug and another kiss to his cheek he hadn’t tried to escape. But he was laughing, glad he’d at least rubbed through his hair before heading into the hallways, with Zhou Mi’s murmured thanks still rumbling in his ears. No fans, no managers. Just him slipping into his room and falling into his unslept-in bed and not really believing anything that was happening at all. He thought about ordering in food, or maybe showering. Instead, he thought about Zhou Mi nuzzling against the side of his head and falling into sleep. Zhou Mi trusted him to sleep beside him. Zhou Mi trusted him not to pull out his phone and take weird pictures, or out him, or whatever he’d maybe been afraid of when they’d met. Obviously Kyuhyun knew that trust was warranted, but it still amazed him. And his bed wasn’t nearly as warm, but he still fell back asleep with his hand resting on his phone just in case.

***

There was still no celebrity moment on the way home. He got to see flashes of Zhou Mi’s whirlwind press tour before pouring himself onto a plane and sleeping the whole way home. He wasn’t the one who was probably having to prop his eyelids open just to stay awake, so maybe he was sleeping for Zhou Mi or something. Work, on the other hand, was not nearly so interesting as exploring a city and getting swept away to a sparkly award night. Nor was there a cute if inebriated Zhou Mi waiting for him in his cubicle. Or, for that matter, his bed. He’d gotten onto the must-make-sure-Zhou-Mi-is-okay train so firmly he’d barely really processed what had happened until he was in his own bed, in almost the same state of undress. He’d been under blankets with Zhou Mi, horizontal with Zhou Mi. Or maybe he had already thought about, but that didn’t make it less of a big deal.

“No, I like you right there,” Kyuhyun said to the totally empty pillow, to an imaginary Zhou Mi who was worried he was taking up too much space.

Oh, that was going to go well. He was just going to tell Zhou Mi he was having conversations with him in his head about sleeping with him. With. And next to, he supposed. Both were high on his priorities. He wanted to enjoy it, not just worrying about Zhou Mi’s head. Though that could take repeated practice.

He was okay with that.

He wondered if Zhou Mi liked to snuggle. Likely, considering how much he liked to touch. He had those hands that were made for—

Kyuhyun stopped. He stopped right there. For holding. For soothing, maybe. Then again Zhou Mi had posted pictures of his awards, which had evilly circular places for Zhou Mi’s hands to rest, and Kyuhyun had judged himself the world’s worst pervert. On one hand he was absolutely ecstatic for Zhou Mi and on the other, he was admiring and imagining. Though he wondered what Zhou Mi would think, before he judged himself too harshly. Not that he said anything. He had some self-preservation.

Zhou Mi posted a couple of pictures to his Instagram and twitter about the awards, but he send the rest to Kyuhyun. Where he’d put them, looking a little dreamy next to them. It kept Kyuhyun from feeling too distant or weird because there were days before Zhou Mi even came back to Korea, blazing through Incheon looking like a model in his news photos.

He just hoped Zhou Mi wasn’t disappointed. Sure, they hadn’t gotten to “celebrate” but they’d gotten to see each other. He’d gotten to hug Zhou Mi and tell him he was proud, and all but tuck him in. That counted. But Zhou Mi called him out, a couple of days after he got back into town.

Their first date in a park, as Kyuhyun jogged up to see Zhou Mi already there and dressed rather mysteriously in a lightweight trench coat.

“Very inconspicuous,” Kyuhyun teased.

They greeted each other with a half hug, Zhou Mi patting against his back as they leaned against each other for a moment. Kyuhyun smiled more at Zhou Mi’s chin, worried that if he looked fully at Zhou Mi’s face that he’d want to kiss him.

That would be not so good, in public.

“It feels like it’s been forever,” Kyuhyun said, falling into step with Zhou Mi as they made their way down the paved path. The bag that Zhou Mi held swayed a bit between them.

“Less than a week. I feel like I’ve lived a decade.”

Kyuhyun didn’t doubt that, and he probably didn’t even know half of the things that Zhou Mi had been up to.

“Are you giving up on sleep to be here?”

“I got six hours last night! I’m doing really well. Besides, this is better than sleep,” Zhou Mi said, smacking at him with the back of his hand.

“Recharging your Kyuhyun batteries?” Kyuhyun asked, and Zhou Mi snickered a little. Kyuhyun caught movement out of the corner of his eye, startled a bit before he realized he recognized the man. It was Zhou Mi’s manager lurking far out of earshot behind them but still well within sight range.

“Oh. We have company. Is he just going to follow us the whole time?”

“I think he thinks if I’m in town, if I get in trouble, I can cling to someone’s leg and ask them to help me. But out here in the wild of a park, I might have to climb a tree like a cat or something if someone tries to get too close.”

“Is he going to tackle the fan legion who appears out of nowhere and swat them off of you with his cell phone?”

Zhou Mi laughed long and hard at that mental image with Kyuhyun having to keep him on the path a few times with some well-timed tugs to Zhou Mi’s jacket.

Inconspicuous indeed.

They settled near a tree, Zhou Mi sitting down like he didn’t have a care in the world for his pants or his shoes. They split some chicken that Zhou Mi had brought, and Kyuhyun drank water greedily, taking in everything from the way Zhou Mi’s kneecaps pressed against the cloth to the way that Zhou Mi licked his fingers. It felt like they were doing some kind of auction negotiation, trying to find a time they could meet up again. When, where.

“Things will start to slow a little. For a little while. I’ll have to keep practicing, though. There’ll be new songs,” Zhou Mi said, eyeing Kyuhyun to see his reaction which was immediate and pleased.

“But then there’ll be music shows.”

“And more promoting, and hosting, and…” Zhou Mi sighed, luxuriating in the thought a little. “It all makes me happy. Even the hard stuff is a stepping stone. There are some scripts we’re looking at? But one is actually set here, so I wouldn’t be out of the country for so long.”

Zhou Mi’s acting dream. It made him want to cup Zhou Mi’s face and coo at him.

“I wanted to apologize, too,” Zhou Mi said, picking at a seam of his pants and looking up at Kyuhyun. His eyes were steady, which kept Kyuhyun from panicking, but Kyuhyun’s brain sped off without him trying to figure out exactly what Zhou Mi had to apologize for.

“Why…?”

“Well, mostly I hoped you didn’t feel like I was abandoning you during the trip. I thought I might have a little time. Hey, come to my awards ceremony, and you’ll only get to see me a few minutes.”

“Well, I remember a few hours in there…”

Zhou Mi sputtered. “We were asleep! And I was drunk.”

“That counted to me,” Kyuhyun insisted. “The most important part was that you wanted me there at all. Even if I hadn’t been able to see you at all, it would’ve been worth it to me since you knew and cared I was there.”

“Kyuhyun.”

Ah, it was too sappy, but it was true. It wasn’t like Kyuhyun was stupid. He knew it was going to be a hectic time and that it wasn’t going to be some kind of romantic vacation just for them. The ceremony had been the whole focus, and it had turned out well, and he’d been grateful to be able to get the time off to be able to go. Zhou Mi had wanted him there, and maybe had felt some support to have someone he loved nearby.

“I just couldn’t believe you were so cheerful when you woke me up. As drunk as you were, I’d probably have been moaning on the bathroom floor.”

“I’m a good actor,” Zhou Mi said, praising himself. “Well, a little. My head hurt, but I didn’t have a choice to be sick. I didn’t want you to worry, either.”

“You don’t have to hide that,” Kyuhyun said, and Zhou Mi smiled, touching Kyuhyun’s arm.

“Thank you. That means…so much. Even that night, I was all giddy and out of it and you took care of me, and made sure I was okay. I don’t think there are words…”

It made him bashful, looking down as Zhou Mi played with his sleeve. Zhou Mi didn’t have to thank him for that.

“You were a cute drunk,” Kyuhyun deflected, and at least Zhou Mi preened a little.

“Maybe soon we’ll get to see if you sleep well on my mattress, too,” Zhou Mi said.

Kyuhyun’s face burned, his smile probably five kinds of dirty, but they tapped their water bottles together to seal that.

It was the infernal text tone, Zhou Mi’s manager signaling they needed to break it up. Kyuhyun stored up the hugs, the little touches, the smiles, the flirting. He remembered Zhou Mi’s worry, and his thankfulness, and his care of Kyuhyun’s feelings. He’d meant what he said. He hadn’t felt cheated on the trip. It had been electrifying and emotional, and a side of Zhou Mi he’d not seen before. It was probably through some lens of goopy feelings that he found it all cute, but he didn’t care.

Zhou Mi posted a cute video of him blowing kisses to the camera to his fans, and he sent Kyuhyun the link. Kyuhyun got the message.

 

***

Kyuhyun tried not to pace outside of the door, definitely did not push the buzzer again. Zhou Mi wasn’t like some drama celebrity with half a building, so he couldn’t have been coming from too far to get the door. Maybe Kyuhyun had caught him in the bathroom. Or maybe—

The door open and Kyuhyun grinned, stepping forward as Zhou Mi all but reached to pull him in.

“I was about to text you to see what was wrong,” Kyuhyun joked.

“I was getting dressed! You must have run,” Zhou Mi said, but he closed the door and he kept right on pulling Kyuhyun in until they were all snugged in front of the door. He was pretty sure Zhou Mi was going to let him get out of his shoes.

“You didn’t have to get dressed just for me,” Kyuhyun teased, and Zhou Mi laughed loudly right in his ear.

“You don’t want to have something to take off?” Zhou Mi asked, and had his revenge on Kyuhyun thoroughly as Kyuhyun sputtered. He’d barely gotten in the door before he was turning red, though he’d caused that himself.

Zhou Mi got far enough away to look at, and Kyuhyun stomped on his glee mixed with some vestigial shyness that he wanted to shout right out. Then again, maybe it tempered him somehow so he wasn’t just leaping into Zhou Mi’s arms. Well, more than he was already.

“Hi,” he said, not even able to fight the grin by any means. He’d already eaten, and not having work the next day, he didn’t mind getting called out to come over and hang out a while. There was no rush, and if he got a snuggly Zhou Mi, all the better.

“Hi,” Zhou Mi answered him. The kiss was slow, tiny adjustments made until Zhou Mi all but jumped.

“Oh! I have something to show you.”

Zhou Mi waggled his eyebrows and Kyuhyun was moderately alarmed, because he wasn’t sure what caused that much glee. If he shouldn’t be concerned—

But he caught sight of the new space on the shelf, cleared for Zhou Mi’s new awards, and almost laughed. Of course, he should have known. Zhou Mi had been hot to show him them the night of the ceremony, and they finally had their own place of honor now that they’d been able to meet up again. Still, seeing pictures of the awards and being close to them and seeing Zhou Mi’s name, it was different.

“Wow,” Kyuhyun said, putting his fingertip against the base of one of them. He hardly wanted to touch it, but Zhou Mi did that for him, tracing the swooping design. One of Zhou Mi’s arms snugged against his middle and Kyuhyun leaned back into the hold. “Did you know you’d be getting some of these so soon?”

“I hoped. I thought— It feels different than I thought it would be, but it’s better, too. I don’t know how soon I’ll ever get more, or what kind they’ll be… But I’ll remember these,” Zhou Mi said.

“Did you cry when you watched yourself win again?” Kyuhyun asked.

“I…Yes,” Zhou Mi said.

“Me, too.”

He sighed a little, Zhou Mi rocking him as he squeezed Kyuhyun a little tighter.

“At least someone know’s you’re good with the social media award. I want everyone with even a fragment of a heart to love you.”

Zhou Mi chuckled, kissing against his jaw. “I don’t need everyone to. Family and my friends. My fans. You.”

“A few more fans can be added along the way.”

“A few more,” Zhou Mi agreed.

“We’ll see what happens next year.”

Zhou Mi hummed his agreement, and helped to turn Kyuhyun around.

“I have something to show you,” Zhou Mi said, and led him to the couch that Kyuhyun was beginning to like very much. Only, Zhou Mi had very specific ideas about how they were sitting, getting himself settled and pulling Kyuhyun down too, but Kyuhyun ended up with his legs draped over Zhou Mi’s thighs and all pressed up against him.

He’d filled his dirty joke quota for the night, so all he could do was eye Zhou Mi and wonder just exactly what Zhou Mi wanted to show him with them all squeezed together like that.

“Perfect,” Zhou Mi declared when they were settled, and comfortable. He leaned in and pecked a kiss against Kyuhyun’s mouth, and then— Then there was his large and glossy tablet coming out, and Kyuhyun was really curious then. Maybe they were going to re-watch the awards ceremony, and Zhou Mi wanted a front row seat to Kyuhyun snotting all over him. But the screen came on, and Zhou Mi unlocked it, and—

Kyuhyun’s neck craned forward, lips parting as he stared at the picture on the screen. Zhou Mi was in a tuxedo against a white background, his fingers tugging at the bow tie, a knowing little smile starting on his lips as he stared directly into the camera. It wasn’t a picture he’d ever seen before, he was absolutely certain of that.

And he was panting over a picture of the man currently watching him like he was primetime TV.

“Wow. What is that for?”

“Guess!” Zhou Mi cheered back at him, absolutely smug and ridiculous as Kyuhyun floundered. And he made a sound as Zhou Mi moved his fingers apart on the screen and zoomed in. Zhou Mi’s hands. The subtle makeup on his face. How soft his lips looked.

“A magazine shoot?” Kyuhyun offered. That was shot down. “A new endorsement?”

Oh, fuck him, if Zhou Mi was endorsing menswear, Kyuhyun was just never going to leave his apartment ever again.

“No,” Zhou Mi said, still too amused. “Keep going?”

“A new album?” Kyuhyun asked, more hopeful than anything as Zhou Mi shook his head. Probably too soon, even with Zhou Mi hinting at the possibility of new songs the last time they’d met. It could’ve been for a single or something, a soundtrack. But Zhou Mi’s eyebrows rose and Kyuhyun was nearly stumped. It wasn’t something Zhou Mi was being paid to do, and it wasn’t to do with his music. Or at least not an album. The only other—

Kyuhyun tore his eyes away from the picture and looked to Zhou Mi again. “Concert promo?”

“Whose, though?”

And his back stiffened as Zhou Mi began to grin.

“Yours? Your concert! You’re having a concert!”

It was too hard to try and hug and shake someone simultaneously when they were all squished together like that but he did his best, laughing, almost gasping with it as Zhou Mi giggled delightedly.

“It’s always been a plan, but with the awards, we’ll be able to call it a thank-you to the fans, and visit a bunch of cities, and—“

“When! How many?”

“Within the month, if we can. The first venue will be here in Seoul, and then others will come after that. They’re just working through venues now, I think. I was looking through song lists earlier before you got here, and— It doesn’t seem real yet!”

“You’ll get to sing for so many of your fans that you haven’t seen!”

“Yes!”

Zhou Mi, who loved to sing, who loved sharing with others. All those people who would buy his tickets, bring their friends, their family.

“I’ll have to watch when tickets start to be sold,” Kyuhyun said.

“I will get you a ticket,” Zhou Mi said. “It might not be quite as close as the fanmeeting, but especially here for Seoul, you don’t have to buy a ticket.”

“When the dates are set and we know what your schedule is like, I can see if maybe I can go to any others. Or you can just take me in your suitcase. One of your suitcases.”

“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi scolded, but he clearly wasn’t upset because then they were kissing. Their hands slid together, squeezing as Kyuhyun’s arm slid up a little further around Zhou Mi’s back and Zhou Mi’s cradled his neck. “So glad you’re excited.”

How could he not be, really. It was going to be more times for Zhou Mi to be busy, possibly long stretches of being apart. But the excitement rode over all of that, in sputters of laughter, and kisses, and a little gasp of horror as the tablet started to slide.

“Just the one picture?” Kyuhyun asked when all was safe.

They nudged each other, leaning together and continuing to flip through some other pictures Zhou Mi had. No more of the concert pictures, but images from Zhou Mi’s cooking experiments, weird cracks on the side of buildings, and then a picture that Kyuhyun had sent him. That had Kyuhyun laughing because he looked like he just crawled out from under a rock, like one nudge and he was just going to fall asleep again.

“So cozy,” Zhou Mi said, in what surely echoed what he’d said about the picture when Kyuhyun had first sent it. Zhou Mi stroked along Kyuhyun’s thigh as they spoke, distracted from the pictures again. It meandered, from what shirt Kyuhyun was wearing, to Zhou Mi’s thoughts on fabric, to Kyuhyun grumbling a little about work. His back was starting to ache a little, from being twisted, but he was too comfortable, being close, being warm. He lifted his hand, hooking his finger over the soft cotton edge of Zhou Mi’s collar. The solid line of his collarbones, the thump of his heart as Kyuhyun’s hand slid down and felt him breathing.

Zhou Mi kissed him, slow, lingering there against his mouth and nuzzling against his face.

“Remember when you could barely look at me?” Zhou Mi teased.

“I wanted to look at you too much,” Kyuhyun said.

But that confession just led to more kisses, and a frustrated noise from Zhou Mi when he could get no closer.

“Here,” Zhou Mi said, and they wiggled, and struggled, and stood up like old men, laughing and stealing another kiss. But Zhou Mi led him, his hand gripping Kyuhyun’s and taking him back toward part of the apartment that he’d never seen. All the oxygen left the room when Zhou Mi pushed open a door, bringing Kyuhyun in with him. The brighter light from behind them spilled in at an angle, but the main light was soft and amber-colored, from some kind of blown glass globe in the corner.

But the real focus of the room was the big, wide bed. The big, wide bed in the room that Zhou Mi slept in. Zhou Mi’s bedroom. The room of the bed of—

Kyuhyun almost squawked when Zhou Mi let his hand go, getting a knee up onto the bed and stretching out, patting the blanket in front of him. No stripping, no bump and grind music. Just Zhou Mi on a bed. Unlike in the hotel, they weren’t separated by a blanket, and Kyuhyun moved on autopilot, crawling up over the length of the bed and easing down like he might fall through it. It was just Zhou Mi. Same guy he’d been kissing on the couch. Same gorgeous smile, and warm hands that tugged him in.

Just Zhou Mi, whatever. Zhou Mi wiggled up on him, nuzzling against him, kissing him. One second Kyuhyun had been both flushed and frozen, and the next he had one of Zhou Mi’s thighs sliding between his, and his hand sliding up the back of Zhou Mi’s shirt with Zhou Mi making a soft sound that Kyuhyun was certain he was never going to stop replaying.

“Is that better?” Zhou Mi asked, like it had a possibility of not being better. He wasn’t just on Zhou Mi’s bed, he was on Zhou Mi’s bed with Zhou Mi. And Zhou Mi was showing in no uncertain terms just how much that he loved to kiss. And Kyuhyun was not just kissed, but invited in, Zhou Mi sharing his joy. It felt like learning to kiss all over again, the slide of lips, the presses, and tugs. There was nothing tentative about it, nothing to get bored of as they moved and stroked. He felt over the breadth of Zhou Mi’s back, slipped his hand up Zhou Mi’s neck and into his hair. The tip of his thumb rubbed around the edge of Zhou Mi’s earring, and Zhou Mi moaned against his mouth. Sensitive ears. He was going to remember that.

And the softer the kisses, the more that Zhou Mi wanted to tell him something.

“Remember when we had that chat on the phone?”

With that eyebrow waggle, Zhou Mi could only mean one conversation. “Yes?” Kyuhyun said, half not sure he wanted to know where Zhou Mi was going. Not like he could forget having phone sex with Zhou Mi. He was pretty sure that was seared in permanently.

“This is where I was.”

“In just a sheet,” Kyuhyun said, and Zhou Mi grinned.

“How did that make you feel?”

“I think you heard how I felt not long after that,” Kyuhyun retorted. Zhou Mi just hummed, closing his eyes like he was remembering.

“I’ve thought a lot about how you said my name,” Zhou Mi said.

The air clicked in Kyuhyun’s throat, because Zhou Mi was playing so unfairly. One second, Kyuhyun was thinking about Zhou Mi hard and naked while he’d been talking to Kyuhyun. The next, he was introduced to the thought of Zhou Mi maybe getting off remembering it. Obviously, Kyuhyun had as well, plus with the spin of Zhou Mi having wanted to fool around in the hotel room after getting his awards.

“And what you mentioned you might want to do with me,” Zhou Mi acknowledged.

If there was one man in the whole of the earth that Kyuhyun wanted to practice his blowjob skills on, he was in bed with him. He didn’t know what he wanted that night, though. He was already starting to ache, from the kissing, and the venue change, and Zhou Mi being all up against him. There were a number of things he could think of to say, but all that he really wanted to say was one thing.

“Zhou Mi.”

And he said it again between kisses, half sighing it, sometimes in mumbles, muffled against Zhou Mi’s lips, and moaned for certain as Zhou Mi squeezed his ass.

“Yeah, I like that, too,” Zhou Mi said, and pushed Kyuhyun back, licking his lips as he arranged himself straddling Kyuhyun’s hips. “I want to touch— Just a second.”

Kyuhyun hissed, really throbbing as Zhou Mi almost ground down against him, leaning and reaching out to snatch something out of a drawer to the left of Kyuhyun’s head. Lube. A brand new bottle, as Zhou Mi tore off the seal.

Zhou Mi wanted to touch? He slipped his fingers against Kyuhyun’s waistband as Kyuhyun tried to keep up with the simple task of breathing.

“I am definitely into that,” Kyuhyun got out. The grin was gorgeous to behold and Zhou Mi leaned forward, his thighs sliding wider.

“You want to open my pants for me?” Zhou Mi asked, his fingers stroking Kyuhyun’s neck.

“Oh? Is there something there for me?”

“I think you’ll find out.”

The button was backwards, because he was working on someone else, not himself. Zhou Mi helped, angling his hips, as Kyuhyun tugged at the zipper. Tugged, because Zhou Mi was clearly hard beneath it. And he had the first feel of Zhou Mi through his underwear, hard, heavy against his fingers as Zhou Mi made soft noises and swayed over him.

“Nothing like someone else’s hand, right?” Kyuhyun asked. And he tested the girth of him, pulling him free from his underwear and his eyes nearly crossing because he had Zhou Mi’s cock in his hand and Zhou Mi was nearly writhing on top of him as Kyuhyun took a couple of experimental strokes. He was pretty much a connoisseur of jerking off, and what he saw he liked, and what he saw on Zhou Mi’s face, he definitely liked.

He’d have gladly kept on like that, with his pants too tight and Zhou Mi making desperate little noises in his throat, but Zhou Mi inhaled sharply, pushing up a little so he could fumble at Kyuhyun’s pants. Oh. Oh, together. The sound he made was embarrassing as Zhou Mi stroked him through his underwear.

“Oh, yes,” Zhou Mi said, and Kyuhyun lifted his lips, struggling for air as Zhou Mi tugged at cloth and set him free. Zhou Mi’s skin against his. He— Kyuhyun’s eyes closed, his head almost spinning as he dragged in air and felt Zhou Mi throbbing against his fingers. “Here.”

It was lube that Zhou Mi offered, and he warmed it, cupped in his hand and smoothed it as he stroked. Zhou Mi braced himself with one hand, doing the same to Kyuhyun, and all that could be heard was the harsh sound of their breathing, and the slick sounds of their hands. Zhou Mi’s hair was flopping forward as he lowered down, scooting his arm up so he could touch Kyuhyun’s head and get closer. Zhou Mi’s hips lowered too, and Kyuhyun realized what he was trying to do, opening his hand and inhaling as instead, they began to rub together. It was a bit like they had done on the couch only, there wasn’t anything between them.

“I like seeing you like this,” Zhou Mi said, his words a bit breathless as his fingertips stroked beside Kyuhyun’s ear. 

Like…what? With his pants open, or wheezing, or— But Zhou Mi was looking down at him so significantly, a smile at the corner of his lips, and Kyuhyun realized no, Zhou Mi meant Kyuhyun being under him, being spread out below him.

“Oh,” Kyuhyun said, before his mind could catch up and stop him.

“Oh,” Zhou Mi agreed, still smiling as he tugged Kyuhyun into a kiss.

In any way, in all ways Zhou Mi wanted him, he was going to be willing to satisfy. Images flashed through his head and he moaned for Zhou Mi, rocking his hips up, rubbing them together, stroking them both with his hand in counterpoint to Zhou Mi doing the same. It was too much, the slick, the warm, feeling Zhou Mi against him, the hot breaths that gusted against his neck as Zhou Mi’s head leaned against his. If he’d had a smidgen more control, he’d have been begging Zhou Mi to get his pants off, but his mind was overwrought with an onslaught of images. Blowing Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi inside of him. Zhou Mi pinned under him. 

The breath he blew out was shaky, moaning, and then gasping for air against Zhou Mi’s cheek.

“Zhou Mi,” he moaned. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t, and Zhou Mi didn’t make it easier for him because instead of rubbing his cheek against Zhou Mi’s, suddenly he had an eyeful of Zhou Mi’s flushed face, his desperate eyes. Hot. Gorgeous. Painfully turned on. All of those ran across his mind, fueling his desperation. And then Zhou Mi’s eyes slammed closed, a moan tearing out of him, and Kyuhyun was desperate for air, and oblivious to the need of it at the same time as he watched Zhou Mi come. He felt almost superfluous, his whole body going tight as Zhou Mi’s hand was the only one stroking them, like he was drawing out his own pleasure. 

But he was rocketing up Kyuhyun’s - Zhou Mi was drawing such heavy breaths, having come for him, looking back to him to see his face, to implore him. He wanted that looming pleasure so bad. He needed it. He needed Zhou Mi— Kyuhyun came in Zhou Mi’s hand, his moans almost sighs because he could get no more sound out than that.

They were still, and his hand was sticky, and he had no doubt that his face was bright red, and he couldn’t even begin to care. Zhou Mi’s head had plonked down beside his like a deflating balloon, and Kyuhyun untangled the hand that had nearly become one with the blanket under him, and stroked between Zhou Mi’s shoulder blades.

“Ah, Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi gusted, and Kyuhyun nearly shivered at the contentment in that one small sound. Zhou Mi kissed against his jaw, his cheek, and their lips bumped together a few times. Kyuhyun could almost feel the individual beats of his heart again, and he wasn’t nearly as embarrassed as he thought he would be, meeting Zhou Mi’s eyes.

“I’d say that was a long time coming, but it didn’t take us very long,” Kyuhyun said, and Zhou Mi sputtered, which made Kyuhyun smile in turn.

“I don’t mind,” Zhou Mi said, levering himself up a bit and making both of them hitch in a breath as their hips moved together a bit. “I think we made a mess of your shirt. I guess we should’ve taken it off first.”

Oh, and he was teasing there, his eyes glinting as he looked to Kyuhyun.

“It seems like I do a lot more laundry because of you,” Kyuhyun said. But he couldn’t say he minded either.

“Oh? Please, share why.”

“Dirty,” Kyuhyun accused.

“Me!”

Kyuhyun got himself sitting, pulling at the front of Zhou Mi’s shirt until Zhou Mi took the hint and kissed him. And Zhou Mi’s mouth really was magic, because it made him forget for a few minutes that he was sitting there with his pants still open, and that Zhou Mi’s were in the same state.

“I have a schedule tomorrow,” Zhou Mi said, pressing his nose beside Kyuhyun’s for a moment before looking at him, and stroking along Kyuhyun’s shoulder with his clean hand. “But it’s not very early. If you don’t have anything to do, you can stay over.”

Kyuhyun blinked at him. Getting together, getting off together, he’d mostly been prepared for variations of that. Staying over—

“I didn’t bring any clothes,” Kyuhyun said.

“I can get you something to sleep in, and a shirt to go home in. I haven’t shown you where I keep my clothes!”

They were cackling together, clutching at each other, and Kyuhyun’s brain threw caution out the window.

“Sure, I don’t have plans in the morning. As long as you don’t send me home in sequins.”

“Deal,” Zhou Mi said.

“Not going to just wear a sheet?” he ventured after a second, unable to resist the tease.

Though Zhou Mi got him right back by pretending to look thoughtful and then laughing when Kyuhyun shoved at him.

He was glad the light wasn’t all bright and blaring, at least as they had to roll themselves upright off the bed. Zhou Mi sent him out to the bathroom first, calling in that he’d left clothes there, and half sad, half glad that Zhou Mi hadn’t just stripped his shirt right off of him. Still, there was a certain satisfaction in pulling a shirt of Zhou Mi’s over his head, and wiggling into the shorts that were a little loose even on him.

He posed as he came out of the bathroom, with his clothes all rolled up under one arm, and Zhou Mi oohed and ahhed and turned him around.

“I did well,” Zhou Mi said, complimenting what, Kyuhyun didn’t know. His choice of clothes, his choice of Kyuhyun. Whatever it was, while Zhou Mi was in the bathroom, Kyuhyun found a place to stash his clothes, putting his shirt in a bag and then dawdling because he didn’t just want to go sit on Zhou Mi’s bed like he belonged there. He admired the corner that was a shrine to Zhou Mi’s life as a singer, and the framed prints of distant places on one wall. Zhou Mi’s awards. Gifts from fans. Things important to him. It wasn’t just Zhou Mi’s bed he wanted to belong in, but he looked around and saw Zhou Mi, everywhere. It was his place. But it caused an ache in his chest of just wanting to belong there. Wanting to see something, even something small, that proved he’d been there, that he was a small part at least of Zhou Mi’s world. Of course he knew that didn’t make it legitimate, that he was just as much in love and Zhou Mi’s boyfriend without any proof at all. Even if he scrawled his name on the wall, it didn’t change anything. But he hadn’t really given Zhou Mi much, either. Zhou Mi got so many gifts, and could buy himself whatever he wanted. A framed picture of them together didn’t make any sense, because if Zhou Mi had guests, they’d wonder who the strange guy was. So it had to be subtle. It had to be—

The bathroom door opened, and Kyuhyun didn’t hesitate, making his way to Zhou Mi and getting a minty-fresh kiss.

“I am going to take you to bed,” Zhou Mi said rather grandly.

“Lead the way,” Kyuhyun said.

Zhou Mi squeezed his hand tight and hard and led him back into the bedroom, pestering if Kyuhyun needed a drink and getting him one. Then, they hand a standoff over which side of the bed to sleep on. Well, Kyuhyun was operating on the “it’s your bed, I’ll sleep wherever” reasoning, and Zhou Mi on the “tell me which side you want, or else,” type.

“Which side do you normally sleep on?” Kyuhyun asked. Though Zhou Mi could tell it was a trap, he also couldn’t just not answer Kyuhyun’s question.

“The right side,” Zhou Mi said.

And so, Kyuhyun made his way to the left side. The covers were rumpled from what they’d been doing earlier, and that was nice. So were Zhou Mi’s sheets, as Kyuhyun started to get in at Zhou Mi’s motions, and Zhou Mi was turning out the lights around them, leaving the room illuminated only from vague light outside the window, and a clock by Zhou Mi’s side of the bed. It stripped them of almost everything, visual cues, all of that. Zhou Mi slid into the bed, and instead of sticking on his own side, Kyuhyun heard him take a gulp of water, and then he was sliding right into the neutral zone and reaching for Kyuhyun. Their legs slid together, his hand rubbing against Zhou Mi’s arm.

“Now that I’m in bed, I’m not that tired,” Zhou Mi said, and it wasn’t said like a come-on. Kyuhyun was still pleasantly buzzed, but it made it easy to be close, trading a couple of kisses at first, but lapsing into conversation. It was not awkward or weird for the fact that they were in bed talking. Zhou Mi’s hand was stroking along his lower back, and they could feel as well as hear the little laughs as they talked. It felt so bizarre, so utterly normal, like Zhou Mi’s warmth against him just lulled him into a gentle kind of complacency. There was no room for nerves, for disbelief, not when Zhou Mi’s voice was so low, so intimate, just for him. And he might not have realized that Zhou Mi was getting tired, except that Zhou Mi yawned like a lion. And even if he couldn’t see, it hitched a giggle into him, rocked by Zhou Mi’s hand as they continued cuddling.

“Maybe it’s time to sleep,” Kyuhyun said.

“Maybe,” Zhou Mi agreed. 

And he had a sleepy man surrounding him, still smelling of mint, of sex, and sweat. He kissed Zhou Mi back, kisses soft, and getting softer.

“I’m so happy you stayed,” Zhou Mi said.

They arranged themselves to sleep, still touching, but not constricting each other’s movements. At least for a second anyway.

“You have an alarm set, right?” Kyuhyun asked.

“Oh!” Zhou Mi said, rolling away to grab at his phone. Kyuhyun watched, amused, as the room lit from the phone’s light, eyeing the straps of Zhou Mi’s tank top and his shoulders on either side of them.

The room went dark again, and Zhou Mi rolled back to him. Kyuhyun accepted another kiss, feeling Zhou Mi relax.

“What would I do without you?” Zhou Mi teased.

“Sleep in?”

Not like he was a good alarm clock himself. He liked to sleep as much as the next person, and having even a part of Zhou Mi against him was as good a reason as any to keep sinking deeper. He heard Zhou Mi’s breathing even out, and even in an unfamiliar place, he gave in.

***

Kyuhyun didn’t know what woke him up. A sound from outside maybe, as he squinted against the encroaching daylight. He knew where he was, having rolled over very gingerly in the middle of the night a few times. However, knowing and opening his eyes and seeing were two different things. The walls were neutral, not that he’d been paying attention to the walls last night at all. There was a marching line of dressers on one wall, stands of accessories, and a little bookshelf in the middle of that. It almost made him laugh, and he turned his head. The room wasn’t as important as the man beside him in bed was. He was in Zhou Mi’s bed, and it seized him with a wave of surreality, like maybe he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be, his hand caught in the cookie jar. But he smiled at the way that Zhou Mi’s face was a little slack, a little misshapen against the pillow. They weren’t touching, but Kyuhyun could see feel all the warmth generated. Zhou Mi had wanted him there, and instead of questioning if he should be there, his next action was a stupid sigh. It was another two or three minutes, Kyuhyun drifting and pleased with the universe, before he heard Zhou Mi take a deep inhale. He waited a few moments for Zhou Mi to wake fully before opening his eyes, and there was Zhou Mi, looking back at him.

Zhou Mi didn’t have a speck of makeup on, and it was a belated realization there. Maybe it was the morning light that emphasized it, just Zhou Mi’s face, the angles of cheekbones and the softness of his mouth. But his mouth didn’t stay soft long, stretching into a smile to see Kyuhyun there, and all Kyuhyun had to do was hold out an arm for Zhou Mi to scoot in, burying his face against Kyuhyun’s chest and sighing. Kyuhyun touched Zhou Mi’s neck for a moment before stroking against his hair, and Zhou Mi chuckled.

“You’re going to put me back to sleep,” Zhou Mi said, his voice a bit gravelly.

“I might sleep again too if you do,” Kyuhyun warned.

“Good morning, anyway,” Zhou Mi said, taking Kyuhyun’s free hand and kissing against his fingers.

“Good morning,” Kyuhyun said. No worries, that was just his heart soaring, nothing to see.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“I did. Did I disturb you?”

“Only once. When I woke up and almost couldn’t go back to sleep because I realized you were really here,” Zhou Mi said, and cackled as Kyuhyun tugged his hair. Way to give him a heart attack.

Though they both jerked a second later when Zhou Mi’s alarm started going off.

“Why did I set that,” Zhou Mi moaned, glomming onto Kyuhyun like a reluctant koala.

“Because your manager would be knocking on your door and marching you down in your pajamas otherwise?”

“So rude,” Zhou Mi gusted. The phone pealed off again, and Zhou Mi rolled over, stabbing at it and putting it on snooze. “Just a few more minutes.”

Kyuhyun rolled over with him, pressing against Zhou Mi’s back and tucking his face against Zhou Mi’s neck. They rested like that until the phone rudely went off again, and waking up could be put off no longer. It took a little doing but eventually they were slouched together, their legs hanging off the bed. He was admiring Zhou Mi’s knees for fuck’s sake, and he looked up as Zhou Mi tugged at the shirt Kyuhyun was wearing.

“I should find you something to wear home,” Zhou Mi said.

Kyuhyun looked down. There was nothing fancy about the t-shirt, but even for having slept in it, it was fine.

“I can just wear this home. It’s not wrinkled, and no one will see anything under my jacket anyway.”

Zhou Mi made a noise that might’ve been agreement.

“I should send you home in my clothes every time,” Zhou Mi said. And he looked up sharply. “You’re thinking something dirty!”

“You’re thinking something dirty!” Kyuhyun shot right back, because clearly Zhou Mi wouldn’t have accused him if he hadn’t been. The tickle fest kept either of them from being close to falling back asleep. But it brought up a thought, a question he never thought he’d be asking with his face plastered to Zhou Mi’s collarbone. “You have condoms…? Not for right now, but just—“

In case. In case, as his face burned and he tried not to stare down at Zhou Mi’s lap.

“Yes. I have us covered,” Zhou Mi said, and sounded oddly proud of that. Kyuhyun didn’t realize why until he started nudging Kyuhyun’s side, and the double meaning of that sank in, and he groaned. 

“That’s terrible!”

Zhou Mi just laughed and squished him, and nipped at his neck. Kyuhyun was going to have to check to be sure he had supplies at his own home, because he didn’t—

Home. He had to go home, and Zhou Mi had to go, and they still hadn’t gotten off the bed.

“You have to get dressed,” Kyuhyun said, wiggling up and pulling Zhou Mi with him. “When are you supposed to go?”

Zhou Mi squinted. “Ten minutes?”

“Go. Go!”

Kyuhyun got into his pants while Zhou Mi threw himself into the bathroom to do whatever mysterious things he needed to do. He realized he really hadn’t been in Zhou Mi’s place in the daylight. He had windows and everything, albeit covered with cloth to keep out prying eyes. Kyuhyun peeked out at the view, hauling out his glass from the bedroom and getting another drink. When Zhou Mi raced out of the bathroom in little but his underwear, Kyuhyun stared at the ceiling and slipped in, washing his face and patting down his hair before going back out.

He was ready to go, phone, his dirty shirt, his jacket on, everything he’d arrived with. He was pushing his feet into his shoes as Zhou Mi thundered out and did a frantic three second check through a little backpack.

“Phone? Charger? Wallet?” Kyuhyun said.

“All of those,” Zhou Mi said, and hauled it over his shoulder. He got into his own shoes, and cupped Kyuhyun’s face, kissing him.

“I love you,” Zhou Mi said. He said it so obviously, like he was telling Kyuhyun the earth revolved around the sun. It felt good to steal a few more seconds with their arms wrapped around each other.

“Love you,” Kyuhyun said into Zhou Mi’s shoulder. Zhou Mi just squeezed him tighter, like he was trying to absorb Kyuhyun right in. It felt like part of him was trying to rip away, now that he was facing reality that they were going to have to go their separate ways. “Soon, I hope?”

He said, thinking of when they’d be able to meet up next.

“Very soon,” Zhou Mi agreed. They shared one more kiss, and the door had just opened when Zhou Mi’s phone rang. He answered it, laughing as he made sure the door was locked behind them. Kyuhyun stared at the door for a second, like it was some kind of weird portal to another world of them being together, before walking with Zhou Mi toward the elevator. “Yeah, I’m heading down right now.

“I’m going to go out the back,” Kyuhyun said. Maybe a little safer, so it didn’t look like they were leaving together. Zhou Mi nodded him, reaching out and squeezing his arm.

“I’ll be texting you,” Zhou Mi said.

Kyuhyun smiled, waving a little as Zhou Mi waved with both hands as the elevator door closed between them. He let out a long, slow breath, and hiked back to the other side of the building to go down that way. He didn’t know what he was going to do with himself at home. Laundry, maybe. And he snorted at himself, as he pressed the down button. No, he still knew how to exist on his own.

***

It wasn’t like there was a ray of sunshine that came out from behind a cloud and shone down on Zhou Mi’s head as Kyuhyun approached like they were in some kind of play. There on some yonder balcony, the man he’d been half naked with the last time they’d met up, and the guy he’d slept next to, and the guy who—

The guy who was just hanging out near a trash can and had on some old jeans, a normal shirt and baseball cap, a gray mask, and minimal makeup. And he still looked like he was made of unicorn thread or something.

Kyuhyun could see the smile just by seeing Zhou Mi’s eyes as he approached.

“Long time no see,” he said. Two whole days. He tried to be embarrassed for a few whole seconds, the whole half-naked thing latching onto his brain again. Instead he was just pleased. Pleased he wasn’t more embarrassed than he was, pleased that he didn’t have to wonder at them growing closer.

“The longest time ever,” Zhou Mi whined a little, leaning into his side and wrapping an arm around him for a moment. “I was pouting at my manager yesterday, so he told me I had some time today.”

“And after you’re finished with everything, you’ll go home and sleep?”

“Yeah,” Zhou Mi gusted.

“You’re not getting sick, right?”

It was kind of fun to nag as they walked, to hear Zhou Mi refute his accusations, and assure Kyuhyun he was taking care of himself. And he was just as prepared when Zhou Mi flipped the table over and started drilling him, too. Did he stay up late? Did he close his laptop before he was keeping his eyelids up by force?

“I’d have let you close my laptop for me,” Kyuhyun offered. In a certain situation anyway. If Zhou Mi wanted to drag him off his laptop at will, they were going to have some negotiations. There was love, but there was also his computer best buddy, the other love of his life. So Kyuhyun amended. “If you’d said please.”

“Oh, I’m very good at saying please,” Zhou Mi boasted, patting at his own chest.

Kyuhyun was going to laugh back at him, when a couple of people who seemed to be about to pass them instead stopped and gaped.

“You’re— You’re Zhou Mi, right?”

After his big awards wins, his songs were getting more play in stores and in random places, but for all their being careful, their meetings, it was the first time that Zhou Mi had been spotted. For a second, Kyuhyun froze. He wanted to wheel around, turn his back, hide. He turned his head, staring forward and heard Zhou Mi agreeing, greeting the two women warmly. Kyuhyun finally got his limbs under control and he edged forward, stopping about ten feet away and window shopping aggressively, his back tense as he could hear them talking, hear Zhou Mi’s subtle laughs. Zhou Mi signed autographs for them, chatting with them, and Kyuhyun’s thoughts swirled. What if they’d taken note of Kyuhyun walking with Zhou Mi. What had they even been talking about just before then? What if they wondered who Kyuhyun was, or if they took pictures, or spread rumors.

It wasn’t like they’d been making out, and people walking around together as friends wasn’t cause for suspicion last time he checked. It just felt so raw, so exposed, like if someone saw him looking at Zhou Mi, really looked, then they would see everything. Every time they met, every time they went out, it was a subtle kind of danger. Getting noticed once was one thing. Getting noticed multiple times—

It still wasn’t a crime to meet up with friends, but that wasn’t what they were.

“Ready?” Zhou Mi asked, coming up beside him, blocking him from any eyes that might have been in the direction of Zhou Mi meeting his fans.

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun said, and they started walking again, turning off down a quieter side street with different shops once they were sure they weren’t being trailed. “Sorry to have gone off all awkward like that. I knew— I knew someone might recognize you one day, but apparently I didn’t think hard enough about what I’d do. Was it suspicious that I—?”

He grimaced, and Zhou Mi tugged him to a stop, buying drinks and letting them settle for a few minutes together in some shade.

“It wasn’t suspicious. They probably were curious but plenty of people like me have friends not in the business who just want to stay anonymous. It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong. I’m sorry that you felt like you had to go, though.”

Oh, and he kicked himself for that. Zhou Mi definitely didn’t have anything to feel sorry for, and he didn’t want Zhou Mi being sad about it either.

“No, I know people will recognize you a lot. I bet that’s kind of cool,” Kyuhyun said, nudging Zhou Mi with an elbow.

“Most of the time,” Zhou Mi allowed. “You did look kid of cute scuttling off.”

“I’ll be better prepared next time,” Kyuhyun said.

Zhou Mi looked so cute, his mask hanging off one ear, his upper lip stained pink in a couple of places by his drink, and his smile bright. Yeah. Inevitably, there would be a next time. Maybe it wouldn’t be soon, but unless they were never in public again, Zhou Mi would get recognized. Their charmed meetings couldn’t continue. Maybe Kyuhyun would be a little more aware of that, since it had finally happened.

“Come on, let’s go before someone recognizes you again. They were clearly big fans to spot you like this.”

“What does that mean!” Zhou Mi demanded, and Kyuhyun laughed, tossing his empty bottle to be recycled and leading Zhou Mi around to different shops to just browse. He knew Zhou Mi’s proclivities well. Kyuhyun’s eyes fixed on something on the wall. It was a pretty kind of sign, carved and unique. He noted the name of the shop, for the future.

“I have concert news, too,” Zhou Mi said, batting at Kyuhyun’s arm, once he’d satisfied himself that Kyuhyun hadn’t insulted his appearance. “Once I make my case for songs, I’ll start recording a couple of new ones. Do you have one you think I should do?”

Kyuhyun made a show of thinking, before tossing out three or four joking suggestions including a trot song. He grinned the whole rest of the time together, because no one was going to recognize him instead, but even with Zhou Mi having been spotted, hearing Zhou Mi sputter and whine and squeeze him in retaliation, he wouldn’t have traded it for a moment.

***

“The drama episode I have a little part in is airing tomorrow! I’ll be busy or we could watch it together. :( :( Don’t miss it!!”

The text from Zhou Mi had been so very unassuming. Kyuhyun knew that Zhou Mi liked to watch things with him. Zhou Mi had admitted he liked seeing Kyuhyun admire him in real time, no surprise to either of them. There was no pretense to that which made Kyuhyun happy. There was a certain amount of insecurity underneath of the whole self-admiration, but Kyuhyun knew that his finding that little peacocking part of Zhou Mi to be precious was a direct effect of first being an adoring fan, and then all of the gooey feelings that came after.

So he settled in prepared to note both critique and admiration.

And then ended up texting Zhou Mi a string of periods in lieu of any text whatsoever.

He’d been duped. He’d been had. Zhou Mi had gotten him in the absolutely worst way possible, and he was never going to recover from it.

But that didn’t keep him from answering his phone the second it rang two hours later.

“You are in huge trouble,” Kyuhyun grumbled.

“Am I?” Zhou Mi asked, sounding utterly delighted that such a thing was possible. Okay, so he hadn’t sounded very menacing. The fact that Zhou Mi was pleased meant that he’d known just exactly why Kyuhyun was upset.

“When you said— You told me you had a little cameo in this drama. But you didn’t tell me you’d be taking a shower in it.”

He said shower like it was a dirty word, and it was. Just not dirty in the conventionally understood way. He’d been expecting Zhou Mi to be cute, to show up as some friend of a friend and being cute and having his I’m An Actor Really face on. But no, 30 minutes in, there had been the sound of a shower. And then a naked back. And then there had been Zhou Mi with water streaming down his face and all over his perfect shoulders and chest, and making the main lead - and likely half the audience - swoon.

Kyuhyun was telling Zhou Mi about the hand he’d had to slam down on his chair to keep himself upright as he’d gaped.

“Ooh,” Zhou Mi all but cooed at him. “I wanted that to be a surprise!”

Kyuhyun was silent for a moment. “So you didn’t warn me on purpose?”

It was official. Zhou Mi was out to kill him. He needed warning before that much skin was on display. Zhou Mi’s last music video, he’d been surprise!shirtless, and Kyuhyun hadn’t made much but garbled noises for about five minutes while he’d tried to process. He’d obviously seen all that skin up close and touched at least some of it. And knew how warm Zhou Mi was, and— Zhou Mi snapped him back to reality.

“Should I have? Why, did you like it?”

“Obviously I liked it,” Kyuhyun scoffed.

“How much?” Zhou Mi pressed. “A whole lot?”

“Yes, a lot,” Kyuhyun said. There was a rather significant pause in there, as he tried to give weight to his words. He couldn’t exactly leer over the phone. “You can guess how much.”

Zhou Mi actually gasped and understood him perfectly. “And you didn’t call me!”

“I texted you! Besides, am I supposed to call you every time I get off?” Kyuhyun hissed, the words not coming out nearly as indignant as they’d been in his head.

“When it has to do with me, yes,” Zhou Mi said, and they both burst out laughing.

“I can just imagine calling you while you’re getting your makeup done all, hey, just to let you know I’m thinking dirty things about you.”

“Now I’m going to think about that the next time I’m getting my makeup done!”

From the plaintive note in Zhou Mi’s voice, at least he was sharing the pain.

“I think the water did more work than you did anyway,” Kyuhyun said. “All you had to do was stand there and smolder.”

“As long as the smolder was good for you,” Zhou Mi teased.

“I think it was rude. How did today go, anyway?”

Since he’d aired his grievances with the surprise nakedness, he settled in to the rhythm of Zhou Mi’s voice, the way he laughed, described things. It was easy to feel like he’d been there, too, and easy to believe that Zhou Mi, on describing a huge meal he wanted to take Kyuhyun back for, had wished he’d been there. Kyuhyun thought of the gift in progress, and wondered what Zhou Mi’s reaction to it would be.

“Tell me about your day,” Zhou Mi urged.

Kyuhyun wondered if Zhou Mi had the same silly smile on his face that Kyuhyun had when listening to Zhou Mi. To be able to share like that, without worrying, without—

“When can we meet up again next?” Kyuhyun asked.

The phone calls, the texting, the teasing, they were all a connection. The way, too, that Zhou Mi said, “I love you,” whether it was in a cute tone, offhand, or so soft that it had his lungs tightening.

But there was a huge and hungry place in him to bask in being near him, to watch Zhou Mi’s face as he talked, press his face into Zhou Mi’s shoulder, and to wrap Zhou Mi up tight, and secure, and safe. Apparently his urge to protect hadn’t decreased on getting to know Zhou Mi. Though, he had gotten even more aware of Zhou Mi’s strength, too. And his weaknesses.

“I want hugs,” Zhou Mi said.

They were definitely on the same page.

***

Anniversaries were important. Days, commemorations. Kyuhyun had a memory a little slippery when it came to that, which was why all his important birthdays were saved in his phone, the anniversary of his parents. Things like that. When he’d entered in his “First date!!!” notation into his calendar, he’d calculated the hundred day mark right away, because otherwise he’d have realized a month after the fact. But Kyuhyun was ready, when he got Zhou Mi’s coy little invitation. He had his present already wrapped and ready to go, no last minute panicking for him.

Okay, some last minute panicking, but he had talked himself down from totally questioning his taste at least five minutes before walking in Zhou Mi’s door.

“Hugs,” Zhou Mi intoned as they rocked back and forth together, and Kyuhyun laughed into Zhou Mi’s shirt, squeezing him back like they were playing some kind of Morse code with their hugs.

“You’d think it’s been a year.”

“Long enough,” Zhou Mi said. “I was worried I’d be out of town today.”

“We could’ve still talked. We’d have made it special,” Kyuhyun said.

He wasn’t going to hold to some silly rules, not when there were a lot of things they had to be thankful for.

“I couldn’t exactly give you a gift over the phone,” Zhou Mi said.

Well. He could’ve, but probably the time for a dirty joke wasn’t then.

“I couldn’t have given you mine either,” Kyuhyun told him.

“Oh?”

Zhou Mi’s eyes lit up when Kyuhyun took the package out of his bag, the sleek red paper wrapping it all up.

“I feel like I’m being greedy,” Zhou Mi said, flexing his fingers as he considered the package. “Did you want to wait to open presents after?”

Kyuhyun just laughed as he shook his head, because it was going to be all he could think about until Zhou Mi opened it anyway. Better to get it out of the way, so he could relax.

“I was hoping to give you this first anyway,” Kyuhyun said.

“Oh, good!”

It was offered, and taken carefully with both hands, and they sat down on the couch together. Kyuhyun both wanted to savor the moment and also to have Zhou Mi rip into it. Zhou Mi shook the box gently, and Kyuhyun didn’t bother trying to hide his laugh, because Zhou Mi was taking so much glee in it. He shoved back every questioning though, as Zhou Mi undid the paper, exposing the solid white paper box beneath. Almost there, Kyuhyun thought, blowing out a breath as Zhou Mi lifted the plain lid, and lifted away the red tissue paper that covered what was inside.

“Oh,” Zhou Mi said, lifting his gift out. 

It was a single word. It was a wall decoration, maybe eighteen inches long, the word “Endlessly” in English carved out of wood and displayed in a scrolling script. On the back Kyuhyun had inscribed their initials, which Zhou Mi caught almost immediately.

“It’s beautiful. Endlessly,” Zhou Mi said, tracing the swells of the word and the dips of empty space. “From my song?”

A song whose lyrics Zhou Mi had written himself. Kyuhyun inhaled, launching into his explanation.

“When I heard that song, I had to look this word up, and it just stuck with me, the meaning of it. Obviously, I’d never expected this, and I knew the lyric wasn’t about me, but it had a lot of meaning to me as a fan. And then now…“

He bumped his face into Zhou Mi’s shoulder before he rambled right on, and Zhou Mi’s arm curled around him.

“I didn’t want to get you a picture of us, because then if people saw, they’d ask questions. But I wanted you to have something here that was…ours.”

And for Zhou Mi to think of him. That sounded too needy, as Zhou Mi kissed him, and then pulled Kyuhyun right up onto his feet. Kyuhyun for some reason expected Zhou Mi to think about where he wanted it, to have a picture sent to him one day of it all hung up and showcased. Instead, Zhou Mi let him go and surveyed the walls. A conglomeration of postcards in a frame was taken down and set on the floor as Kyuhyun’s mouth opened and then closed. The little hook on the back of the wood fit on the top loop of the middle E fit right into the nail, and there it was, hung on the wall right there in Zhou Mi’s living room.

“I’ll put that other one in the kitchen or something,” Zhou Mi said, like Kyuhyun was going to feel guilt for an inanimate frame. “Do you think it looks good there?”

Kyuhyun chuckle felt a bit weak. “Do you think I’m going to say no?”

Zhou Mi looked a little bit like a bird as he moved around and considered it from different angles.

“Yes, I like it there. I’ll give it a few days to settle. I can always move one of the other pictures over if I need to.”

“What will you say if someone asks you where it came from?” Kyuhyun asked.

They managed not to step on each other’s toes as Zhou Mi came up to him.

“I’ll just tell them it was a gift from someone very precious to me,” Zhou Mi said. He cupped Kyuhyun’s elbows, holding them as they kissed. Kyuhyun did an admirable job not squirming, but he was still smiling when Zhou Mi waggled his eyebrows at him. “Speaking of, I have a gift, too. Come on.”

The box that Zhou Mi offered him when they settled back on the couch was quite a bit smaller. It was wrapped, rather amusingly, in little rabbits, and Kyuhyun tucked that back, opening up the black box under it. And inside of that, another black box, only made of velvet. It made him pause, almost looking to Zhou Mi as though to be sure yes, he was opening the right thing.

It was a soft sheen of silver that he touched, a ring similar to one Zhou Mi often wore. A ring. Zhou Mi had gotten him a ring. It made him feel a little disconnected from himself, like he was watching someone else get a ring. Except, no, he was there on the couch, and Zhou Mi was beside him.

“Wow,” Kyuhyun mouthed, looking up at Zhou Mi to see if he could help Kyuhyun get out of his own head.

“Wow, huh? I wanted to celebrate with you today. I used to wonder if it was just some excuse for people to celebrate, but…” Zhou Mi nuzzled against his face. “When I think how happy I’ve been, I know it’s more than that.”

It was like Zhou Mi telling him he loved him all over again, the way it buoyed through him.

“Look inside,” Zhou Mi urged.

All that was engraved there was a heart. Just a heart. And Kyuhyun’s heart, his poor heart, had just about given up soaring to heaven and having to come right back.

“Wow,” he said again, and absolutely his next word was going to be something other than that, he swore it.

“I know I saw you wear a ring once, so I thought… I hoped you’d like it.”

“I do. Very much. Will—“

He didn’t even have to ask his question, as Zhou Mi took the ring from him, sliding it down Kyuhyun’s finger until it rested just so. It looked good there. Zhou Mi’s hand looked good there, too, and when he turned to comment on just that, Zhou Mi yawned baldly, and then looked horribly embarrassed and Kyuhyun hicced back a laugh. Then, concern came roaring after.

“How long have you been awake, anyway?”

“I—“ Zhou Mi started, and then stopped. He had the glazed look of someone who couldn’t really quite remember, which was never a good sign.

“Maybe some sleep would be good.”

“I want to eat with you,” Zhou Mi protested. “It’s a special day!”

Zhou Mi’s health was special, too, but they weren’t going to get far arguing that.

“It is. And, thank you,” Kyuhyun said, and the ring was so solid there, but he knew he’d start not noticing it after a while. A long while probably. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Zhou Mi said, letting Kyuhyun kiss him. That steadied him, a little. He just wanted to crawl into Zhou Mi’s lap and maybe not let go. But Zhou Mi’s lap wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was Kyuhyun.

“What if you napped for an hour, and we can get food after,” Kyuhyun suggested. “Will you still be able to sleep tonight, if you nap?”

“Oh yes. There’s no danger of that. An hour,” Zhou Mi almost whined. “But you’ll be alone out here!”

“I have my laptop in my bag. If you give me your wifi password, I’ll keep busy,” Kyuhyun joked, and Zhou Mi looked the tiniest bit relieved.

“Will you promise you’ll come wake me up if I’m not out here by an hour?”

And Zhou Mi gave him the Puppy Eyes of Doom.

“Promise.”

They pinky swore, and sealed that with a kiss, too. Or two, or three, or four kisses until Kyuhyun pushed Zhou Mi away with a groan. One wifi password later, and Zhou Mi admiring him sitting there until Kyuhyun silently pointed toward the bedroom, and Zhou Mi disappeared to go get some sleep. Kyuhyun took note of the time, because he had promised. But an hour on his laptop was hardly a hardship, since that would’ve been what he’d been doing at home anyway.

Maybe he glanced up a few times to admire the way his gift looked on the wall. It looked nice, like it belonged. He tried not to read too much into what he thought of that. He held up his hand to admire the ring against that backdrop. And then he hung his head because there were too many feelings all at once.

Forty-seven minutes into the hour, Zhou Mi came shuffling out. He curled right onto the couch beside Kyuhyun, leaning his head on the top of Kyuhyun’s shoulder.

“Good morning,” Kyuhyun said rubbing his cheek against Zhou Mi’s hair.

“Don’t tease,” Zhou Mi chuckled.

“Did you sleep okay? Do you feel better?”

“I did. Don’t worry.”

Zhou Mi reached out and grabbed his phone, curling right back up to where he had been before. They sat for a few moments in silence as Kyuhyun continued finishing up a game he had been playing. It was comfortable, the silence, Zhou Mi against him with his phone. Kyuhyun was back on his desktop - stopping for a moment when he realized it was on a picture of Zhou Mi from his last fanmeeting looking like the Earth’s own angelic being. He got a rusty laugh for that.

“I like this guy,” Zhou Mi said, nudging against him. “He has good taste.”

“Now who’s teasing,” Kyuhyun said, but he didn’t even grumble it. He was so sunk. 

“Ready for me to call for dinner?” Zhou Mi asked.

“Yes, please.”

All Kyuhyun had to do was wait as Zhou Mi got the order put in, sticking his laptop on the table.

“Twenty minutes,” Zhou Mi said, as he hung up. He reached out, tracing the edge of the ring on Kyuhyun’s finger. Another thing that Zhou Mi liked, he supposed.

“How did you even know what size I wear?” Kyuhyun wondered, touching the underside of the ring with his thumb.

“Ryeowook,” Zhou Mi said, giggling with his own cleverness as Kyuhyun goggled at him. “When I came over to visit and he was there, I let him in on my plan. When he went to the bathroom, he traced one of your rings for me.”

“He did not. He was barely gone for— And he didn’t even say anything! Not a word. Not even a hint that I should be looking for a gift.”

“Maybe he thought I would forget.”

“I doubt it. I bet the first thing he says when he confirms who this is from is that he knew you’d pick out a good one. Now I kind of wish I’d picked out something like this.”

Though, even to think of it he would have felt too forward. And Zhou Mi, questionable sartorial choices though he sometimes made, had a bit more of a discerning taste. If Zhou Mi had presented him a ring made of twist ties, Kyuhyun would’ve been enamored. Though he wasn’t sure what he was even worried about, because if Zhou Mi was half as gone as he was, he would’ve been happy with whatever, too.

“I have lots of jewelry. Only one home, though,” Zhou Mi said, lifting Kyuhyun’s hand and kissing against the ring.

Rings had a lot of different meanings. His fingers curled over Zhou Mi’s as Zhou Mi kissed him, and they leaned together, rearranging themselves so they could kiss, and talk. Zhou Mi had stories of his day, and he apparently needed kisses against Kyuhyun’s chin and the corner of his lips. He still looked tired, but at least he knew Zhou Mi was a little refreshed as well. Kyuhyun kissed there, right there where a dimple formed when Zhou Mi smiled, and stroked at Zhou Mi’s neck, the short hair, warm skin.

The chime had them both jolting.

“Hold that thought,” Zhou Mi said, kissing him one more time and going to let the delivery man into the building.

Kyuhyun hummed, tapping on his belly as he relaxed. He’d stay a little while after they ate so it didn’t seem like he was just there for the food, and then leave Zhou Mi to his sleep. Or he hoped Zhou Mi would sleep. He glared a little at Zhou Mi’s backside, questioning that. At least it’d give Zhou Mi the chance, and then they’d be able to meet up again as soon as Zhou Mi’s schedule would allow.

Zhou Mi walked back over with the food with such ceremony anyone would’ve thought he was carrying the crown jewels. When Zhou Mi bowed, they were both laughing, grinning at each other.

 

***

“Working, working,” Kyuhyun texted, having nearly had to hold his phone in his teeth to take the picture of his hands on his work keyboard. He’d used his photo editing program to make a little halo around the ring on his finger in case that Zhou Mi didn’t notice.

“Make sure you work hard, or I won’t invite you to the sleepover I’m planning,” Zhou Mi said, including a heart, a winking face, and some kind of sparkle emoji.

It had his eyebrows raising. “A sleepover for two?”

Kyuhyun knew Zhou Mi was sending a missive when he didn’t immediately write back, but sure enough, the texts came in. Party. Cake. A unicorn.

“If I can make it work. I’ll be out for dinner, but unless something comes up, I can text you on my way home, and I don’t have to be out tomorrow until afternoon!!”

“I can be ready just in case,” Kyuhyun texted back. “If it doesn’t work out, we’ll make it up another time.”

Zhou Mi sent back a series of kissy face emoticons, and, “Love you.”

Kyuhyun was already running plans in his head, as he sifted through new e-mails. He’d get dinner on his way home, pack up a bag. If Zhou Mi didn’t have to go until the next afternoon, then they could catch breakfast together, and maybe lunch. He was sure Zhou Mi would have thoughts on that. The second Kyuhyun got home, he started charging his phone, changing into comfortable clothes that he could also wear to Zhou Mi’s place, and then eating in the company of his laptop. He was going to be disappointed if it didn’t work out, but like he’d said, they could always set up another time. Maybe they could end up talking at least. And the later it got, the less chance he thought they had of it happening.

And then he all but leaped forward for his phone as it vibrated against the table.

“Hello?” he said, trying not to sound breathless because it was a picture of music notes that he’d chosen for Zhou Mi’s picture.

“I’m on my way home!” Zhou Mi said, quietly, though cheerfully as well. “I’m in a taxi going right now. Can you still…?”

“All I have to go do is get my coat and shoes on, and I can catch a taxi and be on my way,” Kyuhyun said, already standing and taking stock of his belongings. Laptop, wallet, bag already packed.

“Okay! See you soon!”

True to his word, Kyuhyun was out the door in under two minutes. He walked until he could flag down a taxi, and then jiggled a leg as he watched the scenery go by just wanting to be there. He half wished he’d gone and hung out at a nearby cafe, but considering they hadn’t been sure, he knew he’d made the best choice. Plus, it gave Zhou Mi time to decompress before Kyuhyun was all up in his space.

And they’d barely said hello after Kyuhyun got out of his shoes before they were kissing, saying hello in between, huffing with laughter. He reached up and cupped Zhou Mi’s neck, and he was so real, so warm and close, and the nuzzled together until Kyuhyun could breathe against Zhou Mi’s shoulder.

 

“Let’s get you into pajamas. I thought we could watch a movie, and then who knows what we can get up to?”

The look Zhou Mi shot him before he turned to lead Kyuhyun into his room was one Kyuhyun definitely recognized. Full of promise and a little heat. It had his eyebrows raising and a bit of a spring in his step as he detoured to the bathroom and then got bundled into Zhou Mi’s bed. Zhou Mi was in a tank top, an evil one, and shorts, and Kyuhyun was the smallest bit smitten.

“What do you want to drink?” Zhou Mi asked, standing with hands on his hips and playing stewardess. “I have juice, and water, and tea, and—“

“Water, for now,” Kyuhyun said, pulling the soft blanket up a little and feeling weird for just lying there as Zhou Mi bustled about. He came back in with two glasses of water, and a package of crackers, and then all but played show and tell with DVD cases until Kyuhyun laughed and pointed one out.

There were no lights on, but for the TV, just them propped up against the headboard and leaning into each other. He stroked Zhou Mi’s arm for the introduction, until Zhou Mi captured his hand and kissed against the ring there, holding Kyuhyun’s hand against his heart for a while after that. They paused for more water and a bathroom break halfway in.

“What took so long,” Kyuhyun joked, as Zhou Mi crawled back into bed with a face glowing with some kind of moisturizer.

“I have to love my skin, or else it hates me,” Zhou Mi said, all but giggling as he wiggled under the covers. Kyuhyun, who’d become unofficial master of the remote, pressed play again.

Zhou Mi found his place, his cheek on Kyuhyun’s chest, warm and comforting against him. Comforting too, as Kyuhyun stroked along Zhou Mi’s back and heard him hum in pleasure. Kyuhyun found it a little hard to track the movie, but he was going to gamely stick it out as long as Zhou Mi did.

“I like this part,” Zhou Mi murmured, and Kyuhyun wasn’t sure if he meant the part of the movie, or the cuddling. Maybe both.

But it was less than two minutes later that he heard Zhou Mi’s breathing slow and deepen. He waited, to see if Zhou Mi would jolt out of it, but several minutes later, Zhou Mi was still fast asleep. Kyuhyun turned down the volume in increments, finally muting it, pausing the movie. Another minute, and Kyuhyun stopped it, turning off the TV so that the room was totally dark. It took a little arranging, getting the blanket up a little bit without smothering Zhou Mi. He could feel Zhou Mi breathe, soothing and slow, and Kyuhyun left his hand spread against Zhou Mi’s back.

Kyuhyun woke a couple of times in the night, the first when Zhou Mi woke, hissing out a laugh at the tiny little groan as Zhou Mi unfolded himself back up so he could put his head on a pillow, too.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” Zhou Mi whispered, his hand landing half on Kyuhyun’s head, half on his neck.

“’S’okay,” Kyuhyun murmured. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Zhou Mi said.

There was a little wiggling by both of them as they arranged themselves, close, touching just a little, comfortable. But Kyuhyun woke the other time only to turn over a bit, and slept until morning that time. He was awake for how long he wasn’t sure, five minutes, ten, just musing in his head about what he might like to eat that day, what places from his childhood he had yet to share with Zhou Mi. So many things, so many opportunities, and they’d just barely skimmed the surface. He sighed happily, comfortable, pleased as Zhou Mi woke and squinted at the ceiling as though unsure of the whole being-awake thing.

“Look at you,” Zhou Mi said, turning his head and seeing Kyuhyun, on his back but with his head turned toward him.

“What?”

Zhou Mi rolled toward him, and Kyuhyun stayed still Zhou Mi pushed onto his elbow.

“I like waking up with you in my bed,” Zhou Mi said, hovering over him.

Kyuhyun hoped that Zhou Mi was just extremely unable to see when he woke up to keep from seeing Kyuhyun’s blush.

“Well, that’s good. Because I like sleep. And I like sleeping in your bed, too.”

“Do you?” Zhou Mi teased, bending down to give Kyuhyun a tiny closed-mouth kiss.

“I bet it feels good to get a full night’s sleep.”

Zhou Mi groaned as though realizing that, stretching his neck from side to side.

“Oh, yes. I got so comfortable watching the movie. I don’t even remember… Being near you put me right to sleep. Not in a bad way,” Zhou Mi corrected Kyuhyun, before he could make a joke.

“All right, I guess,” Kyuhyun grumbled, squeezing at Zhou Mi’s shoulder.

And he had a man close, considering him as Kyuhyun was breathing exceptionally shallow.

“We still have a lot of morning left, and I want to make sure we get to eat breakfast,” Zhou Mi said. And there was something in his grin that had Kyuhyun swallowing sharply. “If I promise to brush my teeth first, do you want to share the shower with me?”

Kyuhyun almost snorted, sitting up with Zhou Mi. “Is there room?”

And time, for that matter.

“There’s always room.”

It was said so incredibly filthy that Zhou Mi burst out laughing even before Kyuhyun could bump his chin into Zhou Mi’s shoulder.

“I suppose. Even if it means getting out of bed.”

“I could carry you,” Zhou Mi offered. Though, at that point they halfway wiggled to the edge of the bed. He got his feet on the floor and reached over to pat Zhou Mi’s belly.

“I know those aren’t painted on, but I think you need to walk today.”

It just gave Zhou Mi an excuse to grab Kyuhyun’s hand and kiss it, tugging Kyuhyun up and leading him to the bathroom.

“Did you bring a toothbrush?” Zhou Mi asked.

Kyuhyun blinked him. Blinked again. “I— No?”

Hadn’t he? He’d gone to brush his teeth after he’d eaten dinner so he didn’t show up with all kinds of funky breath, and then, he’d left his toothbrush to dry and there it still sat across town.

Zhou Mi rattled a package at him, and Kyuhyun tilted his head at it.

“A toothbrush. For me?”

“I’ll even write your name on it,” Zhou Mi promised. “Your turn first, I’ll come back.”

Zhou Mi blew a kiss at him, and wandered out to give Kyuhyun some privacy to do his morning business, and contemplate this shower that Zhou Mi was talking about. He stared at himself in the mirror, his own toothbrush at Zhou Mi’s apartment, toothpaste foam dripping down his chin. Okay, he was just going to bite the toothbrush if he grinned like that.

“Bathroom is free,” Kyuhyun called, as he came back out. He got his water glass, patting Zhou Mi’s butt as they passed to Zhou Mi’s delighted little laugh, and got himself a drink of water as Zhou Mi had his turn.

It wasn’t going to be in the dark, and there weren’t going to be any clothes. And maybe, just maybe, his hand was a little less than steady when he put down his glass. Maybe there were feelings of shyness in there, but he couldn’t have carved those away if he tried. Zhou Mi offered, and they both wanted, and they were ready for anything. They’d been ready.

“Ready!” Zhou Mi called, making Kyuhyun nearly choke on his spit as he laughed. Yes, exactly.

It felt so formal for Zhou Mi to be holding the door open for him, but there was something steady in his eyes as he tugged Kyuhyun close.

“Mm, minty fresh,” Zhou Mi said, after they kissed. And maybe they tested that one more time. Even if they were alone in the apartment, Zhou Mi closed the door after them, and the privacy of that soothed him. Not that there was any privacy between them.

Zhou Mi curled his fingers under the hem of Kyuhyun’s shirt. “Can I?”

They worked together, Kyuhyun’s shirt lifting off, left so that it dangled over the edge of the sink counter.

“Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi said. That lit Kyuhyun on fire more than any words of appreciation could have. But it had him clearing his throat, tracking the path of Zhou Mi’s eyes. Down, and further, and—

“Don’t leave me hanging here,” Kyuhyun said, gesturing to Zhou Mi’s chest.

He sucked in his stomach almost out of reflex as Zhou Mi tossed aside his shirt.. But the way Zhou Mi looked at him, it wasn’t an editing eye, making note of things he would fix. It was want. Want, amazement. Zhou Mi wiggled his hips, snagging the waistband of his shorts, and getting them far enough to fall. It left him in a simple pair of gray briefs. And they were doing an admirable job of covering up what might have been titled, Male, Aroused.

He was definitely in no way behind on that score, as he pushed down his pajama pants. Zhou Mi actually pursed his lips and blew out a breath.

“You weren’t thinking of us showering with clothes on, where you?” Kyuhyun teased.

“I’m just wondering if we’re going to make it into the shower. Let me just—“

Watching Zhou Mi walk around in his underwear was no hardship. Watching his butt waggle as he turned on the water, testing it with a hand as Kyuhyun got closer under sharp watch. It was a good thing they didn’t have far to go, because it was already getting uncomfortable to walk. Had Zhou Mi seemed inclined to want Kyuhyun to parade, though, he had no doubt that he would have.

And he might have liked it. That was a new feeling, as was Zhou Mi meeting his eyes, and that smile that was an offering. But as Zhou Mi slipped out of his underwear, Zhou Mi’s eyes lowered a bit, like some hint of shyness. When Zhou Mi stepped under the shower’s spray, though, his eyes rose again. And there was Zhou Mi the performer, wet and hard, and taking in Kyuhyun’s every reaction. Like the fact maybe he had to jump start his breathing as he lurched forward.

“Is it better than on TV?” Zhou Mi asked, doing his very best to pose without having water stream into one of his ears.

Kyuhyun considered. Of course he’d consider, because there was just a lot more to.

“I didn’t get to see all of that on TV.”

Okay, and he didn’t want Zhou Mi to drown as he died laughing. It was his turn, not having much finesse as he got himself out of his underwear.

“Definitely worth waking up for,” Zhou Mi said, his tone light. Who knew what his face was doing, because his eyes were firmly on Zhou Mi’s chin, ears blazing hot. It was just them, the same as they were with all their clothes. But he slid the shower door closed, both sure and short of breath. They were closed in then, glass obscuring them from the room, surrounded by steam and water. Zhou Mi touched only his arm, asking for a kiss, connecting them.

A few kisses like that, getting his arm around Zhou Mi’s neck and shoulder, and he could finally meet Zhou Mi’s eyes. Just them. The grin was impossible, the giggles coming next, Zhou Mi laughing against his cheek and stroking along his back.

“I’ve thought about this,” Kyuhyun confessed. It was no surprise to both of them, and the way that Zhou Mi kissed him, he knew he wasn’t alone in that. Their conversation after Zhou Mi’s little drama tease should’ve told Zhou Mi all he needed to know about that. How pleased Zhou Mi had been.

But his breath hitched, as Zhou Mi’s hand slid to his ass, squeezing, making him twitch closer. It was Zhou Mi who moaned, kissing along his jaw, against his mouth.

“Want you to touch me.”

Kyuhyun breathed his affirmative, humming into the kiss as his shoulders pressed against the cool tile, and Zhou Mi’s fingers slid around him just moments after he had taken Zhou Mi in hand as well. They could’ve been in a waterfall, a cave, floating in space for all Kyuhyun knew. His reality was limited to Zhou Mi against him, touching him, and the water falling against them. 

“Mm, good,” Kyuhyun moaned as they kissed. He tried to think of more words. He didn’t know if Zhou Mi wanted words, if it was enough just like that. He couldn’t have talked and kissed, and breathed. It had to have been enough. It was enough for him, kissing the edge of Zhou Mi’s smiles, feeling his moans. Feeling how hard he was, for Kyuhyun.

They’d touched each other before, but he swore it was different. No, it was because he was in the moment, urgent, flushing from the knowing, the want in Zhou Mi’s eyes. Dark, gorgeous and close, hair skimming against his skin. He wanted to lick away every drop of water, jealous of the way they got to touch, and breathless at the way that Zhou Mi moaned his name. He was never going to hear any other sound ever again, not with that echoing over and over in his mind. Zhou Mi’s hips were working with the stroke of Kyuhyun’s hands, and he nearly made himself dizzy, imagining them horizontal, imagining Zhou Mi inside of him. Imagining—

Kyuhyun was the one who gasped when Zhou Mi came, seeing his face tighten, feeling his body move. He felt Zhou Mi come, in his hand, against him, and saw him, heard him. It made him throb against Zhou Mi’s fingers, desperate for stimulation, desperate to join him. He hissed out a breath, swallowing back a whimper as Zhou Mi focused on him.

“You look gorgeous when you come,” Kyuhyun said, his voice nearly hoarse, and Zhou Mi nearly scoffed at him. “Maybe I can get you to make an ugly face one day.”

“You want to try?”

“I want to try,” Kyuhyun confirmed. They laughed together, kissing, and Zhou Mi stroked with his thumb before moving his hand again. “Though I’d probably— Oh. Still think it was—”

What were words, when Zhou Mi was nuzzling against his face and stroking him. His mouth moved toward the dark mark, there at the base of Zhou Mi’s neck, and instead of kissing, he moaned there. He wanted. He wanted so much.

“You feel so good. I can’t wait to get my mouth on you,” Zhou Mi groaned against his neck.

Kyuhyun’s arm tightened around him, moaning, moving with Zhou Mi’s hand. They’d be all nice and clean for that, after, if they— He moaned, coming in Zhou Mi’s hand. 

“Yes,” he whispered, as the touch went from firm to soothing. He wondered if Zhou Mi could feel the thump of his heart as they rested closer together.

“Yes what?” Zhou Mi asked.

“Yes,” Kyuhyun said again, and Zhou Mi giggled against him, cuddling him as Kyuhyun breathed and opened his eyes lazily to see the foggy glass enclosing them. It was good. It was so good.

If Zhou Mi was surprised when Kyuhyun pulled back, touching Zhou Mi’s jaw and kissing him, then he didn’t show it.

“We should wash before the water just disintegrates us,” Kyuhyun teased, and Zhou Mi’s grin was so bright, so happy.

He let Zhou Mi work some kind of witchy fingers against his scalp, his hair all clean as Zhou Mi acted out a hair commercial.

“I would buy that product if it had your face on it,” Kyuhyun said. “I might buy all of it.”

“You have the real thing at home.”

A fair point. Washing quickly definitely took a back seat to touching, admiring. All it took was a few words to get Kyuhyun blushing, and a few gentle kisses to have him centered again as they talked about what they wanted for breakfast. The glances weren’t stolen, but they were given. A few waggled eyebrows, some appreciative squeezes. But most of the touches were meant to be helpful, as they did their best to actually shower. Not one of them was too much.

It swamped him again, a towel swathed around his hips and just watching Zhou Mi dry off, how much Zhou Mi trusted him. Once, he’d been taking away Kyuhyun’s phone to tell Kyuhyun he had once dated a man, and there he was, unafraid, exposed in so many ways. He’d trusted Kyuhyun with something so important, but he’d also trusted himself, to be able to allow himself to open up.

Zhou Mi glanced up like he was going to say something, and did some kind of hilarious double take.

“What?”

“Just thinking,” Kyuhyun said. He stepped forward to get another warm armful of man, kissing Zhou Mi’s neck. “Love you.”

“It’s a little late to be sweet talking me,” Zhou Mi joked. But he squeezed Kyuhyun until he squeaked. “Love you, too.”

And that was that.

They scrounged for food in the kitchen, carrying it to the table by the couch. Zhou Mi left Kyuhyun with a mug of tea, and Kyuhyun waited. Zhou Mi said he was going for a blanket, but what he didn’t say was that he was going to drape it around Kyuhyun and then crawl in until they were just a towel-and-blanket clad burrito. Zhou Mi took a sip from Kyuhyun’s cup of tea, pressing a hot kiss against his cheek.

“There, perfect,” Zhou Mi said.

Only, they had to stick their arms out to eat, but it wasn’t a bad setup.

“You should put your head on my shoulder like you did that one night. I feel taller that way,” Kyuhyun said, wiggling his shoulder suggestively.

“I can make you feel taller without that,” Zhou Mi promised.

They struggled the blanket a little closer around them, at least no longer hungry. Kyuhyun played with the ring on Zhou Mi’s finger, definitely not wanting Zhou Mi to move his hand where it had set up possession on Kyuhyun’s thigh.

“Will you let me engrave this for you, one day?” Kyuhyun asked.

“Any time,” Zhou Mi said. He sighed, leaning harder into Kyuhyun. “Why do I have to leave. Can we just stay like this?”

“If you want to make money and not have people chasing you. You’ll get all shined up, and… We have time for lunch? Then we eat more. And then I’ll have to get dressed. I seem to keep leaving your place without underwear,” Kyuhyun said.

“You don’t have to, you know,” Zhou Mi said, like he was going to magnanimously offer his too-small underwear. “I have space if you wanted to keep some here.”

Kyuhyun blinked at him, and Zhou Mi’s smiled curved a bit hopefully.

“I could do that.”

“You can bring shirts, too.”

Kyuhyun eyed him. “Oh?”

“And I suppose you can bring pants,” Zhou Mi sniffed.

“Oh! That’s generous. What are we eating for lunch, anyway?”

“I don’t know, what do you want to eat?” Zhou Mi asked.

They squinted at each other, and instead of getting up to look and figure something out, pulled the blanket tighter. Though, they still had time to decide.

***

Kyuhyun woke from a nap, feeling pretty good about himself. He wasn’t sure why he’d even napped since all he’d done that day was sleep, eat, and be in various forms of nakedness with Zhou Mi before he’d left so Zhou Mi could get ready. To puppy-dog eyes, and a dozen promises, but leaving was still leaving. He supposed a little effort had been expended. Just a little.

Finding a text from Zhou Mi on his phone wasn’t odd. He settled in, prepared for some wave of warm and fuzzy feelings.

What he got, was a patched-together photo of Zhou Mi making some kind of dramatic hair flip, pasted onto an image of a bottle of shampoo similar to one Zhou Mi had in the shower. It was like he was the world’s worst endorser. In giant red “ad” text scrawled across it: Always with you.

Kyuhyun nearly rolled off of the couch laughing.

***

In retrospect, Kyuhyun should have known something was up when he opened his apartment door and found Zhou Mi there completely unannounced. His jaw sagged, and he was there in his most saggy pajamas while Zhou Mi looked like some kind of model as Kyuhyun waved him in.

“Hi,” Kyuhyun said, closing the door after peering suspiciously out in the hallway.

“Is this a bad time?”

“No!”

No, he’d just finished eating, and had been about to settle in with his laptop so he didn’t just start to pine. Maybe his phone was dead and he’d missed a text, or a call. He knew he hadn’t forgotten plans. Zhou Mi coming to his apartment wasn’t something he’d have forgotten.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text first,” Zhou Mi said, fussing out of his jacket and hugging Kyuhyun seemingly without concern for his shabby appearance. “I was on the way back from a schedule, and I just thought—“

“You’re welcome any time,” Kyuhyun said, a little breathless and off kilter from having Zhou Mi suddenly in his orbit without preparation. And warm, because everything seemed a little brighter. He just flat out stopped worrying about what he looked like, what junk he had littered around, and kissed against Zhou Mi’s lips, and smiled at how eagerly Zhou Mi kissed him back.

“Can we sit?” Zhou Mi asked after a moment, and Kyuhyun nodded, shoving his laptop onto the table, books, his remote. They sat, and Zhou Mi was hugging him again. “Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve been here.”

Kyuhyun hummed, happy at Zhou Mi being there, and the kisses against his neck for that matter.

“Nice to have you here alone,” Kyuhyun said, and Zhou Mi giggled.

“I have something really serious I want to ask you,” Zhou Mi said, extracting his face from against Kyuhyun’s neck and the only thing that kept Kyuhyun from shooting straight to desperate alarm was Zhou Mi’s face. He was calm, even as he said incredibly frightening things.

“Okay?” Kyuhyun asked. He wondered if he should’ve worn his lucky underwear.

“Oh, it’s not like that, I’m sorry,” Zhou Mi laughed, cluing in to Kyuhyun’s concern. “Here. Read this.”

That was when Zhou Mi started looking a little nervous, chewing on his bottom lip as he thumbed to something and handed Kyuhyun his phone. On the screen was an Instagram draft post, the words beneath a lovely picture of the sunset, “Happiness to have someone to share this sunset with~”

There was a moment, as it started to sink in.

“You’re going to post this?” Kyuhyun said.

“I was thinking about it,” Zhou Mi said.

That stumped him. “It kind of implies— What if it makes people suspect you’re dating someone?”

“I wonder how bad that would be. I almost want— Posting things is a connection between me and my fans, and I want it to be okay for them to know I’m happy. I want them to be happy for me.”

Which was nice, but that didn’t erase everything else. “The fans are one thing. If some are happy, you could lose others? If the media outs you, though. Would your company keep them from doing it?”

“We’re smart enough not to make out in public, so all the media would have proof of is that we sometimes meet up and hug each other goodbye,” Zhou Mi said. It was clear from the way he listed how much he’d thought about it. “Even if they figure out that you’ve slept over, that’s what friends do, too. And that’s less that some idol group members have been photographed doing.”

Kyuhyun laughed a little at that. But still. “Even if they didn’t have proof, even if all they did was speculate, then what?”

“I wouldn’t respond to them one way or another if they did that. I’ve given it a lot of thought. We’ve been careful. We’ll always be careful, until maybe there’s a point we won’t have to be. But I won’t hint to the fans unless you want. If it’s going to make you worry, we can wait.”

For someone like Zhou Mi, he imagined it was painful not to be able to express himself how he would’ve liked to. There were private matters, of course, but it was something else to him. He admired Zhou Mi’s courage, and his want to be honest. Those who understood would continue to, and those who didn’t would think Zhou Mi was just posting peppy messages.

It wasn’t like Zhou Mi was posting a picture of a table clearly set for a romantic dinner or something obvious. There was some common sense in that pretty head.

“Who did you share that sunset with, anyway?” Kyuhyun asked, and Zhou Mi blinked at him.

“With you, just now,” Zhou Mi said, and laughed at his own smoothness as Kyuhyun sighed at him. He still hadn’t answered, and he half wanted to think about it, to pace around in his anxiety. But he knew Zhou Mi could’ve posted irrespective of Kyuhyun’s thoughts, and it was a connection between them that Zhou Mi valued his opinion. If the worst happened— He didn’t know what the worst looked like. That Zhou Mi was outed, dropped by his company, forced to mop floors just to eat. If Zhou Mi was outed to that extent, too, then Kyuhyun would be, too, he supposed. Most of his friends knew, and some of his family. His job wasn’t irreplaceable like Zhou Mi’s was. But there were celebrities that were out. Sometimes they got pushed down, struggled, but they were there. He didn’t want Zhou Mi to have that pit of worry, to have to wonder, to not be able to shine.

And maybe tomorrow meteorite would knock out all the electricity in the whole world, and the dinosaurs would resurrect, and he’d stop liking wine. All they could do, like Zhou Mi said, was be careful. Being most careful would mean not being together at all, and Zhou Mi had already risked everything Kyuhyun had worried about just by taking his hand and kissing him. It wasn’t quite as scary a step, when he considered that.

“I trust you,” Kyuhyun said. “You can see how it goes, and I guess that’ll show you if you want to say more.”

He hadn’t said that to get kisses, but he got them anyway, huffing with laughter as Zhou Mi squeezed him, kissed him, hummed against him.

“We’ll see,” Zhou Mi said, kissing him again. “If it’s about us, I’ll always check with you first, to be sure you’re comfortable wit what I’m posting. Okay?”

“Okay,” Kyuhyun confirmed.

“Let’s post it together,” Zhou Mi said, taking his finger. And they sort of tandem punched the post button, watching it upload. Kyuhyun’s phone buzzed a notification, making them both cackle, and they watched updates to the post roll in on Zhou Mi’s phone, comments and likes. Most were just telling him hello, and some in languages neither of them could read. No one was all “OMG you’re dating!!” while they were monitoring it, but Zhou Mi laughed and locked his phone after they obsessed for a good ten minutes.

Kyuhyun wasn’t sad for that because he had a Zhou Mi half in his lap then. And they were, in a very inside sort of way, enjoying the sunset together.

That post made him smile over the next few days when he saw the picture. Zhou Mi was happy and wanted everyone to know it.

***

Kyuhyun had checked his phone before he went in to the restaurant, so he knew he wasn’t late, but that still didn’t keep him from being the last person there. Ryeowook was on one side of the table, and Zhou Mi and Fei on the other. It had been Zhou Mi’s idea, something small, a mingling of Zhou Mi’s life and his. He was a little proud of that, that Zhou Mi didn’t just think he was on some pedestal and his celebrity friends were too good for normal people. Probably a little bit of the reason he’d fallen in love with the man, though it wasn’t like he’d had some kind of checklist aead of time. Some others knew Kyuhyun was dating a new guy, like his family for one, but he hadn’t told them who. And his absences to outings meant more of his friends knew he was dating as well. He was working up to telling. Normally with Zhou Mi reminding him to breathe.

Fei pointed at the seat across from her, smiling. Apparently they weren’t to be allowed to sit next to each other at dinner it seemed. Still he met Zhou Mi’s eyes, grinning a bit as he sat down.

“So we can have a small part of your attention,” Fei explained as Kyuhyun sat down.

“Why would you say that?” he asked, and pretended to be totally clueless as Ryeowook gurgled out a laugh. “Have you all been here long?”

“Not that long,” Zhou Mi said, smiling at him. “I was the last one before you actually.

Which meant that Ryeowook had been there alone with Fei. Ryeowook didn’t look like he was ready to fall over, but he’d still have to apologize for that.

“We were just chatting,” Ryeowook said.

“It’s good to know you two spend time with other people besides each other,” Fei said. “But besides that, where’s this ring I keep hearing about?”

Kyuhyun blinked at Zhou Mi, and put his hand up on the table. Ryeowook had already seen it, hard to miss it after having been involved.

“Oh, I like it,” Fei said, admiring it on his hand. He held still, bemused, when she took a picture of it. “For Jia. So Ryeowook traced one of your rings, and then got that over to Zhou Mi. How did you even get it back to Zhou Mi before he left anyway?”

“It was a challenge. I almost thought I wasn’t going to that day, since Kyuhyun’s heart eyes were on him almost every second.”

“Kim Ryeowook!” Kyuhyun burst out. And of course everyone laughed.

“I like his eyes,” Zhou Mi said.

At least someone was one his side as they grinned each other.

“Yes, we know,” Fei said, but it was an indulgence, and not anything else. They all put in their order, and Kyuhyun’s brain paused at the next question, “Is he getting enough rest with the concerts coming up?”

Like he was somehow responsible for Zhou Mi. Like they were part of a unit. He could see Zhou Mi’s eyes crinkling up in response, and Kyuhyun wasn’t puffing up or anything inside, no.

“When I have any say in it,” Kyuhyun said. “It’s been busy.”

Not much time to meet up, a lot of sad noises from Zhou Mi about his muscles being tired. Rather than meeting up, they’d been instead doing a lot of sleeping together. Mostly just sleeping. Kyuhyun’s question had been if he kept Zhou Mi from sleeping as well as when he was alone, but Zhou Mi sometimes slept near him, or used him as a body pillow during naps. He just made sure to have his phone nearby, in case Zhou Mi kept on sleeping. Making sure Zhou Mi ate, making sure he didn’t sacrifice the time he did have to rest to entertain Kyuhyun. At least the nerves of being in a new relationship had worn off mostly, and if he knew he had for him then for Zhou Mi they had, so there wasn’t that current under all the other stresses. Zhou Mi could nod off on Kyuhyun’s shoulder while they were watching TV, or nap on his leg while he was gaming without worrying. There were sleepy kisses and long cuddles, and shared showers that weren’t nearly as leisurely as the first one had been but still nice. Still a connection.

“Kyuhyun makes me food sometimes while I nap,” Zhou Mi said, bragging in the most obnoxiously cute manner that left Kyuhyun floundering in embarrassment. 

“Kyuhyun gets recipes from Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun said, giving credit where it was due. “I’m learning to find it fun.”

Not just a chore like it was for him or when it was an expectations. Zhou Mi’s bright eyes when it was really good, eating something homemade just for him that wasn’t rushed or from a restaurant. Even his mother had started pitching in recipes he’d like during childhood.

“I’ll send you some recipes, too,” Fei promised, and Kyuhyun realized he was going to have her number in his cell phone, too. His life. “It’s a wonder he doesn’t just keep you there full time so he can wring out every second of the day with you.”

“We’ll see,” Zhou Mi said, sticking out his tongue a little.

Oh, would they? All Kyuhyun could do was laugh, as Ryeowook patted his arm probably to make him stop or calm him down. Zhou Mi took some of the heat off of him, drawing Ryeowook into a conversation about his job. It was all just so normal. So normal, a table of people he cared about chatting, eating, teasing. His friends. His family.

***

Kyuhyun saw the blast that went out asking for help moving boxes of signs for Zhou Mi’s concert from where they were being stored and into the moving vehicle to get closer to the venue. He hesitated, because on one hand, he didn’t want to accidentally out himself. On the other, it was a project for Zhou Mi. And on the scale of being a fan, Kyuhyun had exploded out the other side like some kind of daredevil. He’d help, do what he came to do, and give enough help to hopefully be sure that Zhou Mi would be touched to the point of tears on stage.

Goal: make boyfriend cry was probably not a typical life object, but he was doing his best. The concert had been rumored on all the boards and fansites that Kyuhyun still frequented, still posting now and then to keep himself from going conspicuously absent. He thought he was probably being a little paranoid when he did things like that, because as one person he probably wasn’t going to be missed. But he’d been around for years, even if he’d been quiet most of the time. He might’ve been the first fan to know, by way of Zhou Mi’s total inability to keep some things secret, but he hadn’t been the last. 

The day the news officially broke, Kyuhyun had his whole routine planned out when he went over to Zhou Mi’s place armed with pizza. Plan A was get Zhou Mi stuffed, because seeing Zhou Mi eat brought his heart a little comfort, and then he was on to Plan B which was to wander away and check his phone, and—

“Wow!” Kyuhyun yelped. “Holy shit!”

“What?” Zhou Mi asked, hurrying over. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t believe it! Look, my favorite singer is having a concert soon,” Kyuhyun said, showing Zhou Mi his phone. And of course, the phone had Zhou Mi’s own face on it.

Zhou Mi hauled him in, growling into his neck as Kyuhyun laughed and squeezed him.

“You’re that excited, huh?”

“Uh, yeah?” Obviously. “It’s not just you and someone else. I won’t have to just say I’m going to some concert because you’re a guest, but because I’m going to your concert.”

“Your Zhou Mi’s concert,” Zhou Mi confirmed.

Well, when he got all possessive like that about it. Kyuhyun wasn’t going to complain, that was for sure. Kyuhyun watched how ticketing went the next week, a little proud when the tickets literally disappeared. For the Seoul show, Zhou Mi had promised him a ticket. But Kyuhyun bought one himself for Beijing. He was half tempted to get one in Bangkok, too, but he sort of wanted to go to Thailand for the first time when they were free to explore. Not like for the awards, where they barely were more than ships passing in the night.

Though he changed his mind almost immediately and bought a ticket there as well. It wasn’t about him, but about Zhou Mi. And Zhou Mi had already expressed hope that Kyuhyun could go to more than one.

But the desperate scramble to put together a project for Zhou Mi started with the official announcement, and Kyuhyun had contributed a bit as he usually did. Even if no one had reached out to him to be sure he was going, he felt pretty secure in just showing up. Extra sets of hands were always useful. He only recognized a few of the fans, women he’d met at other project meetings. No one stopped, pointed, gawked. He hadn’t really expected it. Zhou Mi had sent a couple of messages since the first, sort of gently intimating. When the world hadn’t exploded from the first one, Kyuhyun hadn’t had any objection to the others. 

The ten or so people who showed up made the work a light job, getting everything arranged, loaded, and ready so that the day of the concert it could be passed out. They talked about the last meet and greet - Kyuhyun contributed there - and the awards ceremony, though he didn’t admit to being there. It was fun to hear how excited they were for the concert, their speculations on what could happen, what songs Zhou Mi would sing. It made him feel connected and disconnected all at once, like only a small part of him was there talking to them, the part of him that was a fan. Even if that thread ran through everything else, all the rest of him related to Zhou Mi was tucked away waiting to be boyfriend, friend, lover as well.

Kyuhyun had a good reason not to follow them all out for lunch, excusing himself. He’d almost escaped, too, when one of their heads went up, and he was told to hold on for a moment. He waited near a light pole while the main group chatted and the woman returned, holding a little gift bag.

“When I saw you were here, I was hoping I could asking you something. I know you had met Zhou Mi at the meet and greet, and I was wondering if you might know of a way to get this to him?” She seemed a little embarrassed to be asking him and oblivious to the fact that his entire being was ice. “It’s just a few letters, and some gifts.”

If he accepted, he put a very fine point on the fact that he and Zhou Mi were at least friendly. Denying it would seem suspicious. Protesting that it was too much trouble probably would have been, too.

“I can work on getting that to him,” Kyuhyun confirmed, his voice a smidgen high as he took the handles of the small bag. Maybe easier than they imagined.

“Thank you so much! If you can’t, just send me a message, and I can try another way.”

“Okay,” Kyuhyun said.

He toddled off, doing his best human impression and on a whim, heading to the road. He got a taxi, too weak to think about trying to control his features on the subway the whole way.

“Please tell me you’re free for a little while tonight,” Kyuhyun texted Zhou Mi.

“Actually heading home soon. Meet you there?”

His little breath of thanks may have been a little bit more fervent than usual. He resisted, he really did, going through the bag as he loitered in a coffee shop within walking distance. It wasn’t for him. It was given to him in confidence. The second Zhou Mi texted that he’d arrived, Kyuhyun was out the door and straight up to Zhou Mi’s place.

There weren’t any hellos as Kyuhyun kicked off his shoes.

“So you know how I went over to meet up with fans for something I couldn’t tell you about? Well, one of them gave this to me to give to you. Well, she asked me if I knew of a way and I didn’t have a way to say no.”

He held out the bag like it was something of telling significance.

“To you,” Zhou Mi said, his eyes widening as he stared at the bag.

“It sort of sounded like she wasn’t sure if I could, but I don’t know if she was just trying not to be too forward. It’s killing me. Here, take it.”

Zhou Mi ushered him along, and they sat together. Or Zhou Mi sat. Kyuhyun mostly perched, eyeing the bag like it would burst into flames.

“I was just so startled, I was like a robot because I didn’t know what she was thinking,” Kyuhyun babbled as Zhou Mi unpacked the bag. There was a packet of letters, a box, and two DVDs in a paper packet. One was labeled, “Watch this first,” and Kyuhyun shrugged when Zhou Mi looked to him to be sure. It took a couple of minutes to get it set up, but the DVD was in, and all of Kyuhyun’s air was bottled up in him as Zhou Mi got an arm around his shoulders.

The start of it was a pretty opening shot in two languages. The one he could read was, “Please don’t be worried or afraid, we love you and will always protect you.”

They traded a glance, and the video commenced.

“We don’t know if what you have been posting about is friendship,” the first slide said. “Or maybe if it’s more than that.”

Kyuhyun’s breath caught, because there half a dozen pictures on the screen, but one of them had his face on it. It was a picture from the day the fans had spotted Zhou Mi and saw them together, with Kyuhyun laughing at Zhou Mi as they walked without a care in the world. There was another, Zhou Mi and Jia and Fei in a restaurant. None of the pictures were like someone had set up shop with a pro camera and were just stalking, but rather pictures that looked like they’d been on someone’s phone who just happened to spot a celebrity. At least the one of them together, they’d known about that one since the fans had spoken to Zhou Mi. There were other pictures, Zhou Mi with friends that Zhou Mi had publicly posted himself, because Zhou Mi loved posting about his friends.

“We actually don’t mind either way, as long as you are happy. We love you, our precious singer, and you deserve someone to love you best.”

Some of Zhou Mi’s tweets and posts alluding to being in a relationship, being happy, came on the screen, and Zhou Mi reached and took Kyuhyun’s hand as well as tightening the arm over his shoulders.

“No matter whom and no matter when you love, please believe in us!”

There were pictures from fan signs, from meet and greets. In the middle of them, Kyuhyun again found his own face. Their beginning. It still rocked him in disbelief.

After those pictures, there were slides and slides of different fans smiling, messages of support, little video clips of fans cheering and talking, and telling Zhou Mi they loved him. Some of the messages had them giggling, Kyuhyun’s hand getting tighter around Zhou Mi’s as the DVD wore on.

“Please continue to live your life and do all the things that make you happy, and we’ll still be here supporting you~”

The final slide faded into a series of flowers and hearts, and then to black. They sat in silence for a while, before turning to look at each other. Zhou Mi was eyeing him like Kyuhyun was going to get up and run around thinking the sky was falling.

“Well, we knew some of them would figure it out,” Kyuhyun said. Because that was all he took away from it. Some of them knew, and they were trying to assure Zhou Mi in what he assumed they hoped to be the least creepy way possible that they supported him no matter what. It felt like the pictures of all the others Zhou Mi had been seen with were thrown in there to keep it from seeming too obvious, or maybe sinister. Or maybe that was just him reading into things. It hadn’t been a threatening video at all.

“It was cute?” Zhou Mi said.

“I’m sure that’s what they wanted? I didn’t realize they were going to be quite so direct about it. Except, I guess it wasn’t really direct. It was pretty pointed, though, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” Zhou Mi laughed. “I’m going to have to think about that.”

“I was scared when it started up,” Kyuhyun admitted.

“I was wondering, too. I guess it was just something they really felt they needed to say.,” Zhou Mi mused. And he picked up the box that had come with it. “Let’s look at the rest of this.”

“For Zhou Mi (and ?),” the label read.

The box held what amounted to soft leather couple bracelets. Unlike some where one was more delicate, meant for a woman’s wrist, the two in the box were exactly the same.

“Yeah, I think it’s safe to say they’re convinced you’re dating,” Kyuhyun said.

“Did the fans you used to meet know you were attracted to men?” Zhou Mi wondered.

“They might have assumed, considering we’re both guys, but no, I didn’t tell them.”

Not that a guy had to be gay to be a fan of another guy, he thought, scowling a little for a second.

He helped Zhou Mi put on one of the bracelets so they could both admire it, a pretty blue against Zhou Mi’s skin.

“It’ll probably give them a thrill to see me wear it,” Zhou Mi said. “But you’re already wearing my couple ring.”

He was, and they admired that together, too. That was something between them, and those who knew them. But he was surprised when Zhou Mi tucked the other bracelet into Kyuhyun’s hand, closing his fingers around it.

“I know wearing it would probably make you feel too… Too obvious? But I still want you to have it. When you see me wear it, only you will know where you have yours.”

“When you say that, it sounds like I’m going to keep it somewhere I shouldn’t.”

“What?” Zhou Mi asked, all innocence.

Kyuhyun tucked it into his pocket anyway, and settled closer so they could finish looking through things. The rest of the stack of letters and cards were just congratulations on his concert, and how excited they were. But Zhou Mi read every one, handing over some of them even though Kyuhyun was reading with him so Kyuhyun could see them easier. 

“I don’t see yours in here,” Zhou Mi said.

“I must have missed this project.”

“This one? There’s another?”

Kyuhyun did his best to glare. “I’m not telling you.”

He was already drained from it all, but they put in the other DVD, and it was worth it, because it was some kind of flash mob dancing to one of Zhou Mi’s songs, singing, ending up in some big group that was full of laughter and shouting out messages to him. He squirmed in secondhand embarrassment, and laughed at how cute it was. Just seeing so many people loving Zhou Mi. He was totally going to survive through the concerts. He was. Though Zhou Mi was actually glazed in emotion, his lips all pressed together like he was trying not to wibble at the blank screen. And he leaned hard into Kyuhyun, his eyes maybe a little suspiciously wet.

“You weren’t in that either,” Zhou Mi said, and it was the cutest little complaint.

“You don’t want to see me dance,” Kyuhyun assured him, and kissed him when Zhou Mi was going to argue.

But he marshaled up his feelings to get over his embarrassment, singing a few lines of the song they’d danced to. Singing to Zhou Mi’s chin, anyway, his ears burning as he glanced up.

“I love you,” Zhou Mi swore.

“Oh yeah?”

They were both laughing as they kissed, Zhou Mi wiggling him back until he was all but pinned to the couch. It wasn’t like he minded, since it freed his hands to stroke through Zhou Mi’s hair until they were were both breathless. Happy. They had a little proof anyway, that some fans would support Zhou Mi no matter what. And whatever worry he had beyond that, Zhou Mi soothed it from him. They were in it together. It wasn’t all on him. They’d protect each other.

And when he woke in Zhou Mi’s bed hours later with Zhou Mi sound asleep beside him only to find Zhou Mi’s hand rather possessively spread on his ass, he snorted into his pillow and relaxed right back into sleep.

***

Zhou Mi was too much sometimes. His cute was disgusting. The handsome line of his jaw was overwhelming. His face masks stank. It didn’t matter how many times Zhou Mi puckered up while wearing the one that smelled like a forest had died on his face, Kyuhyun was still not tempted to kiss him. Okay, no, that wasn’t true, he’d kissed the top of Zhou Mi’s head once, flicking water at Zhou Mi when he’d been laughed at.

His home screen picture was of Zhou Mi on his back on Kyuhyun’s bed, in full laugh with his head hung over the edge of the mattress. The part of him that could be seen anyway. The rest wasn’t ever being recorded on his phone. He saw that picture sometimes, and was helpless not to grin. Zhou Mi was stubborn. Oblivious sometimes. His manager was his keeper, and that freed up Zhou Mi to be Zhou Mi, apparently. Kyuhyun worried on a whole about twice as much about some things than Zhou Mi did. It was where they differed, but Zhou Mi felt, deeply. He saw hurtful things. He absorbed things. He saw kind and wonderful and supportive things. And Zhou MI came out the other side of those, sweet, generous, and with coping mechanisms for all of it.

Well. For most things. Kyuhyun hadn’t moved for four hours after the last-ditch shopping extravaganza a few days before the concert tour was set to start. It might’ve been Zhou Mi’s nerves, his excitement. He hadn’t even been immune, going home with three shirts, too. He figured it couldn’t have possibly gone for too long, because Zhou Mi had been practicing, and doing who all knew what ahead of the shows. Surely he was tired.

“One more store,” was Zhou Mi’s mantra, and Kyuhyun had stopped believing him after one more turned into five more. He was letting that one go, though, because he knew he did that with his computer, too. They were just trading off, that was all.

***

The morning of the first concert, Kyuhyun was the incredibly willing subject of Zhou Mi’s cuddles. It was some ridiculous hour and Zhou Mi’s schedule had a dozen things packed into it from press, to sound checks, and hopefully time to eat and visit a bathroom at some point.

“Make sure you inhale some oxygen a few times today,” Kyuhyun said. Zhou Mi mostly hummed in agreement. “Don’t make the coordis laugh when doing your makeup.”

“Kyuhyun!”

What, it was the truth. He’d heard all the tales of having to have his makeup redone because he was entertaining all the people.

“I’ll be here when you get back,” Kyuhyun promised, and then stole Zhou Mi’s blankets so he would get up and get dressed. He had all the codes and everything. It was Zhou Mi’s concert gift to him, or something. And a nice promise to be able to make for Zhou Mi to have even more to look forward to. He hoped anyway.

It was some other kind of luxury to languish in Zhou Mi’s bed after he was gone. It made him feel a little guilty, too, since Zhou Mi was out charming people. Whatever got him more albums, more concerts. Zhou Mi thrived on it somehow.

But Kyuhyun sent Zhou Mi a text message, a single heart as he went in the doors of the stadium. He took his seat where Zhou Mi had arranged, off to the side but still close enough to the stage.

It afforded him a great view, when Zhou Mi began his newest ballad, and a wave of banners rose and swayed with the song.

“All our love,” was spelled out in a giant semi-circle with hearts surrounding it.

There were cheers and coos as Zhou Mi had to stop two-thirds of the way through because they had, as they’d hoped, brought him to tears, his breath hitching as he tried to talk. That was what Kyuhyun had helped to have happen, and no, he didn’t cry. Those weren’t tears. They were just, feelings dripping out of him.

Zhou Mi finished the song a cappella, which was a treat of its own, and the stadium went electric as his voice trailed away. He was pretty sure every person there fell head over heels in love again.

Luckily, Kyuhyun kind of had some experience with that feeling.

Zhou Mi shot him a crying smiley apparently while getting his makeup fixed, though Kyuhyun only learned that sometime the next morning after Zhou Mi wiggled into bed drunk and happy.

Much like the first time they’d ended up in bed together, they slept. And that was enough.

But he made it out of the concert in Seoul in one piece, and then the one in Bangkok, and the one in Beijing. There was something new every concert, Zhou Mi talking to the fans in different languages, singing songs to them that spoke to them whether they understood the words or not. Kyuhyun caught confetti from all the shows, being all bratty when he caught up to Zhou Mi after - whenever after was - and demanding a sign. Though Zhou Mi did sign them, every last piece, to Kyuhyun’s eternal amusement. Each had a different message, some that Zhou Mi read off, tossing them aside to flutter down, piece by piece as they kissed, Zhou Mi firmly and very welcomed in Kyuhyun’s lap.

But one image always stood out for him, in the arenas, of Zhou Mi standing bright on the stage, smiling as he looked out at all the faces, all the glowing lights for him. Behind him, his face projected on the big screens, smile radiant and infectious. Hearts were melting right then and there, eyes brimming. Zhou Mi had offered his heart to them with his voice, but showed them the part of his soul that was most beautiful in doing so because they chose to see and listen.

But even those were not the last concerts. Kyuhyun attended some the next year, and the next. The song lists were almost always the same, adding newer songs, but at the concerts Kyuhyun attended, Zhou Mi walked out with a simple mic and sat, dangling his legs over the stage as he looked out at the audience as though they were all sitting together in someone’s living room.

“Tonight, someone very special to me is here. So this song is for everyone who takes a chance, and loves,” Zhou Mi said.

Kyuhyun smiled, because it was a connection between Zhou Mi and him, and Zhou Mi and his fans. Even if all of them didn’t know who Zhou Mi was dating, many of them knew he was, and they were there still, happy for him, loving him, singing with him.

_What is this I’m feeling_  
Something I waited for, but then  
I found us in my heart  
And I loved you  
Endlessly 

***


End file.
